Submissions by Indie (Miss Indie)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
human, quirky, dark.
NON-FICTION PROSE
Published
8th Sep 2024 9:08am
8th Sep 2024 9:08am
letter to my (dead) dad
#anger
#father
#hate
32 reads
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
1st Sep 2024 9:10am
1st Sep 2024 9:10am
between the words we don't say
Let's not talk about this
so you can call me a liar
so you can bury yourself in denial
I don't need your validation
the truth won't set anyone free
and I'm not sure I want to
hold that gun to anyone's head
least of all my own
I can't change our world
with self-righteous violence
and you wear the victim
with all the pride of a horror movie
make-up artist
ripping the very real throat out
of an imaginary woman
Don't speak
don't make it real
someone might tell you
it's...
so you can call me a liar
so you can bury yourself in denial
I don't need your validation
the truth won't set anyone free
and I'm not sure I want to
hold that gun to anyone's head
least of all my own
I can't change our world
with self-righteous violence
and you wear the victim
with all the pride of a horror movie
make-up artist
ripping the very real throat out
of an imaginary woman
Don't speak
don't make it real
someone might tell you
it's...
#abuse
#FeelingTrapped
#grief #MeToo
#grief #MeToo
107 reads
7 Comments
MISCELLANEOUS POEM
Published
31st Aug 2024 11:43am
31st Aug 2024 11:43am
inside these castle walls
Fuck off
don't touch me
Please touch me
why won't you fucking touch me
you know what... go touch yourself
I don't want you anyway
And that's how it goes
your fire, my ice
my fire, your ice
I don't want to be alone
you make me feel so alone
You say I don't talk to you
but you don't talk to me either
you talk at me
Is it too much to ask that I matter?
Cause yes, right now it's too much
for you to expect that you matter
Fuck off
I'm tired of the sound of you...
don't touch me
Please touch me
why won't you fucking touch me
you know what... go touch yourself
I don't want you anyway
And that's how it goes
your fire, my ice
my fire, your ice
I don't want to be alone
you make me feel so alone
You say I don't talk to you
but you don't talk to me either
you talk at me
Is it too much to ask that I matter?
Cause yes, right now it's too much
for you to expect that you matter
Fuck off
I'm tired of the sound of you...
#anger
#conflict
83 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
31st Aug 2024 11:16am
31st Aug 2024 11:16am
alone under the stage lights
Feel nothing
hug an almost stranger
smile
feel alive for the time
it takes to embrace
Let go
emotional slippage
sweat kissed skin
untouched in cold air
I'm alone
I'm always alone
He makes me beg
I won't beg
I fantasize
about drunkenly fucking
a random stranger
in a bathroom stall
but I don't drink anymore
and sex is just another distraction
It won't save me
but it might make me cry
I wish my lover
would make me cry
but...
hug an almost stranger
smile
feel alive for the time
it takes to embrace
Let go
emotional slippage
sweat kissed skin
untouched in cold air
I'm alone
I'm always alone
He makes me beg
I won't beg
I fantasize
about drunkenly fucking
a random stranger
in a bathroom stall
but I don't drink anymore
and sex is just another distraction
It won't save me
but it might make me cry
I wish my lover
would make me cry
but...
#grief
#loneliness
66 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
31st Aug 2024 1:44am
31st Aug 2024 1:44am
adrift
This silence hollows me out
like the universe has scraped
out my insides with a melon-baller
leaving small useless chunks of me
to observe in the daylight
like strange scientific specimens
I can't relate to myself
I lose myself in other worlds
untouched by reality
but I can't stay there
when people always drag me back
kicking and screaming into the glare
I don't want to be here
I don't want to be anywhere
This silence hollows me out
I don't know where I am
like the universe has scraped
out my insides with a melon-baller
leaving small useless chunks of me
to observe in the daylight
like strange scientific specimens
I can't relate to myself
I lose myself in other worlds
untouched by reality
but I can't stay there
when people always drag me back
kicking and screaming into the glare
I don't want to be here
I don't want to be anywhere
This silence hollows me out
I don't know where I am
#emptiness
#grief
#loneliness
90 reads
1 Comment
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
30th Aug 2024 5:47am
30th Aug 2024 5:47am
an anti-vigil for you
I thought your death
would feel like freedom
but it doesn't
I still hold your secrets
things I shouldn't know
things I shouldn't have seen
but found anyway
the actions and words
between the lines
Nothing ever said outright
I can't remedy the love and hate
that swing like a pendulum
for your in my heart
I know what it means
to love a monster
but I don't know how
to explain it
There's so little good
to hold on to
but we find it anyway
because memory is funny...
would feel like freedom
but it doesn't
I still hold your secrets
things I shouldn't know
things I shouldn't have seen
but found anyway
the actions and words
between the lines
Nothing ever said outright
I can't remedy the love and hate
that swing like a pendulum
for your in my heart
I know what it means
to love a monster
but I don't know how
to explain it
There's so little good
to hold on to
but we find it anyway
because memory is funny...
#anger
#father
#grief
77 reads
3 Comments
SELF POEM
Published
25th Aug 2024 5:49am
25th Aug 2024 5:49am
aftermath
I feel everything too intensely
in the aftermath of grief
I'm an unexploded bomb
until I'm not
and then I'm hellfire
and resentment
and a lack of apologies
My doctor told me
to not cut people out
after I told him what I really want
is for everyone
to take their pushy sympathy
and fuck off
I've stopped answering phone calls
I've stopped replying to texts
I've allowed myself to see
two people this week
and they both twisted
long buried knives
I forgot I hadn't removed ...
in the aftermath of grief
I'm an unexploded bomb
until I'm not
and then I'm hellfire
and resentment
and a lack of apologies
My doctor told me
to not cut people out
after I told him what I really want
is for everyone
to take their pushy sympathy
and fuck off
I've stopped answering phone calls
I've stopped replying to texts
I've allowed myself to see
two people this week
and they both twisted
long buried knives
I forgot I hadn't removed ...
#death
#depression
#grief
86 reads
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
25th Aug 2024 1:39am
25th Aug 2024 1:39am
stagnant hearts always turn to stone
I've convinced myself
there's nothing here
worth holding on to
and I've been waiting
for you to prove me right
So far
you don't dare to disappoint
I push through because
there is nothing else I can do
I have no one pick up the pieces
of the crumbling parts of me
and it's easier to push
the closeness of your face away
than let you see the real me
in this half light
Never mind that I want
you to push through
intuit the wrongness of this place
I want you to see me ...
there's nothing here
worth holding on to
and I've been waiting
for you to prove me right
So far
you don't dare to disappoint
I push through because
there is nothing else I can do
I have no one pick up the pieces
of the crumbling parts of me
and it's easier to push
the closeness of your face away
than let you see the real me
in this half light
Never mind that I want
you to push through
intuit the wrongness of this place
I want you to see me ...
#depression
#disappointment
#emptiness
#LifeStruggles
#loneliness
113 reads
1 Comment
OBSERVATIONAL POEM
Published
16th Aug 2024 8:24am
16th Aug 2024 8:24am
I didn't come to say goodbye
I didn't come to say goodbye
to you
we've said goodbye
many times over
I don't understand
how one more time
will make this hurt any less
Death is for the living
it's a weight that's meant
for us alone to bear
death is easy for dead
though I'm sure you're glad
that when your finally hours
ticked around
we all showed up
I didn't come to say goodbye
to you
I came because social norms
dictate I not be a bitch
and abandon family
never mind that I have to live ...
to you
we've said goodbye
many times over
I don't understand
how one more time
will make this hurt any less
Death is for the living
it's a weight that's meant
for us alone to bear
death is easy for dead
though I'm sure you're glad
that when your finally hours
ticked around
we all showed up
I didn't come to say goodbye
to you
I came because social norms
dictate I not be a bitch
and abandon family
never mind that I have to live ...
#death
#family
#grief
#love
#parent
115 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
14th Aug 2024 7:12pm
14th Aug 2024 7:12pm
4am breakdown
It's a 4am breakdown
silent crying on the couch
another night I can't sleep
I have a headache
my jaw is strained with tension
I thought about making camomile tea
but went with a decaf coffee instead
it's sitting undrunk on a side table
I've been trying to drown out
my mind with EDM
through my headphones
and brain is now a lonely party of one
I stare at the front door
and wonder what level of bravery
or cowardice it would take
for me to step outside
and walk me into a different life ...
silent crying on the couch
another night I can't sleep
I have a headache
my jaw is strained with tension
I thought about making camomile tea
but went with a decaf coffee instead
it's sitting undrunk on a side table
I've been trying to drown out
my mind with EDM
through my headphones
and brain is now a lonely party of one
I stare at the front door
and wonder what level of bravery
or cowardice it would take
for me to step outside
and walk me into a different life ...
#anger
#confessional
#depression
#despair
#LifeStruggles
135 reads
2 Comments
ANGER POEM
Published
14th Aug 2024 7:01pm
14th Aug 2024 7:01pm
trying to find the corner in a circular room
I threw a packet of dirty
bread rolls at the wall tonight
dirty because my child stole them
and emptied them on the floor
to play with like wheaty squishies
We don't have much food
and I reached the end of my patience
with the kind of unhinged scream
that should be reserved for series issues
In the grand scheme of things
this is nothing
but in the day to day struggles
this was the culmination of everything
I can't control
And the worst part is
that vocal retching didn't help
it...
bread rolls at the wall tonight
dirty because my child stole them
and emptied them on the floor
to play with like wheaty squishies
We don't have much food
and I reached the end of my patience
with the kind of unhinged scream
that should be reserved for series issues
In the grand scheme of things
this is nothing
but in the day to day struggles
this was the culmination of everything
I can't control
And the worst part is
that vocal retching didn't help
it...
#anger
#depression
#despair
#MentalHealth
#money
114 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
11th Aug 2024 2:10am
11th Aug 2024 2:10am
don't pretend you love my sharp edges
I'm trapped inside this misery
and I bruise the walls
with the erratic swings
of my mood
from silent to violent
and back again
I stand before you
in trepidation
wanting more
but not knowing how to ask
for the cage I've always
been desperate to escape
I too often
love the things I hate
I push you away
when I'd rather crawl beneath
your skin
dig my fingers into your mind
and see what you see
If looks could kill
I'd have killed myself
in my own reflection ...
and I bruise the walls
with the erratic swings
of my mood
from silent to violent
and back again
I stand before you
in trepidation
wanting more
but not knowing how to ask
for the cage I've always
been desperate to escape
I too often
love the things I hate
I push you away
when I'd rather crawl beneath
your skin
dig my fingers into your mind
and see what you see
If looks could kill
I'd have killed myself
in my own reflection ...
#anger
#depression
#FeelingTrapped
#MentalHealth
#relationships
173 reads
6 Comments
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