We suffer in the silences our hearts and minds elsewhere and I wonder where you've gone as I sit right beside you my mind lost in some other place where your secrets hurt less than the things we aren't saying
I dream of an empty bed your legs a memory in the bed sheets and I remember when we'd lie tangled in each other's limbs unable to get enough of each other's skin
Today you haven't kissed me and my fingers have done nothing more than graze your arm in faux sympathy as you complain...
Everyday was the same until it wasn't the days grew old without us noticing until they weren't there at all
She believed in small miracles no man or god could ever deliver but we stoked that hope like a fire that would never die because without hope there would be no peace between the spaces of sleeping and waking and breathing
There was no better tomorrows despite our hopeless dreams time had run out on the feel good days were we could sit outside and paint blow bubbles into the wind ...
Water glides across the paper colour on brush forms Jesus holding a teddy bear
I don't know what it means with death looming over her perhaps she's looking for comfort in spirituality or perhaps I'm reading too much into questions I don't know how to ask because I'm too scared to truly want the answers
This moment is peaceful for her paint on paper Jesus holds a teddy bear unfinished between the pages of a book
Perhaps it's a symbol or a metaphor or a hope for miracles that...
I watch her live like grains of sand slipping through your fingers mixed with shards of glass and memories of conch shells broken coral and reddened sun-kissed skin
She's as much a part of you as the salt and sand you carry unable to dust your hands free of the ocean inside you and I watch the way you drown in it gasping for breath in the sleepless hours between her sleeping and waking knowing that today could catch her last breath in its wet hands and drag her soul out into the sun-bright sea
I carry you like a cat caught in a ball of wool so close, chaotic, untamed I push and you pull until I'm too entangled to break free there are no blades sharp enough to sever the bonds we love and the ones we hate
I can't live with you and I can't live without you so I try and live between us and fail us both when the swords are drawn tradition and sanity opposite sides of the same coin we're made from
I carry you like a cat caught in a ball of wool so close, chaotic, untamed you push and I pull ...
I hang out laundry at midnight and cry into the frozen arms of the full moon frosted grass licking at my feet and I wonder, how and when did I climb into this melancholic basin that finds me in tears at the turn of every day unable to let go of the things that stop me dreaming when perhaps dreaming is the problem
I can't have it all
"God grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can And the wisdom to know the difference"
We worry about money like worrying it will fix what's wrong you blame me for what you call frivolous spending like the holes in my shoes will make it through the winter without getting wider I blame you for your addictions without saying a word because I don't need to when you say what's already unspoken by my lips our lives would be easier if you knew how to stop
We worry about money like worrying it will fix what's wrong like worrying will buy us a new bed one that doesn't have us going to sleep young ...