Typical

Since I was on the topic last time about body image, I might as well make another post about it. This time about plastic surgery than weight issues.

I'm going to try to be as transparent as I can, although I probably still worry what people think of me.

Creating my alter ego character, Alia has really helped me when it has come to body image issues. Because I created her to look very similar to me. On the slender side yet curvy and breasts that aren't that big. There are probably many factors that have played a role as well. But Alia plays a huge role. Her looking childish and like an awkward dork is exactly the point. I also think that with her look, she gives off a mysterious darkness to her, and that is the point too. I have actually dyed my hair black just to give off that "deadly quiet girl" look.

I used to want bigger boobs, but now, I can't say I do. I still get insecure at times, especially lately, but then, I think to myself, "Even if I had the money, it still wouldn't seem worth it to me." Plastic surgery seems like a big fucking scam.

I was looking at Megan Fox earlier out of curiosity, and seeing her before and after photos was baffling to me. Then again, the celebrity world is full of immense pressure, and I would imagine getting easily crushed by it.

I think plastic surgery makes one look typical to me. Ordinary and boring. Like a manufactured doll.

Even if they were no health complications to those procedures, it still seems odd that there's no room for uniqueness.

I get wanting those procedures since I used to want them myself, but I wasn't in alignment with my true self and my values. But now that I am, it seems like a waste of time.

Can't truly judge those who get it. I'm sure somewhere deep inside, I still do. After all, I did refer to humans last night to my friend as "selfish, egoistical apes." I'm not excluding myself from that list.

Oh well.