Your hair was as black as my heart now, your smile, eyes unzipping every outfit I wear. Your heart: a sinking submarine, my heart: that bleeding guy on a deserted island.
Your body like the ocean swinging back and forth. I just want you, I just want you, but your heart sank long ago, sank to the bottom of that ocean while I'm still thinking possibilities of your motion.
And this is why I can't, I can't just choose. My hands and heart freezing up the sea, trying to stop...
My innocence, you stole it. What for? Fernando said I'd get married, but instead, I got fucked over by you without the fucking. Please tell me that this sea of dicks will end and that one and only one will show up on shore.
After you, I'm always chasing after someone new. I'm sinking in this sea, not flourishing. Thought not feeling was better, but I just wanna feel light like a feather, floating away from this sea, this island, to a place to be free with that one man.
He opens the rip that is this indoor realm. We are finally on Earth again. Spiritual Earth. He had explained before that this Earth mirrors the one Angel is on, Angel who inhabits my body. I'm her spirit, Alia.
Confusing, I know.
Marilyn Edgar Park. He knew which one to go to.
"Wanna get naked and swing?" I ask
"What?" he asks me with skepticism at first but then accepts.
Accepts when I say, "To piss off all the censoring freaks. To show them that the naked body ain't...
My father once said that I'd be the one out of the family that'd make a true difference. He may have been a bastard, but he knew things like a prophet. When delusional before, I thought he was god. Thank God that shit over.
But unfortunately the shit with Jason never is. The pain over him motivated me to become a dark pop princess. To be a dark pop princess, you have to know deep darkness, and I know it more than probably many dark pop princesses out there. There was one who sung about how she made boys cry.
He started when I was 12. I knew it. I could sense it. I could smell it. I could "taste" it.
There's evidence to even prove this, but of course, because the bastard has money, money talks.
And it lies. The lies suffocate everyone.
I once lived in a pretty mansion that smelled like Heaven in disguise. Now, I live in a place that reminds me that I was in Hell all along. All along, I was there, and I know I did nothing to deserve this. Nothing at all, and neither did Diana. But I'm sure she blames herself. And I fucking hate it. ...
Name's Alia. Never been married, never even had a child. Probably cuz that fucked up bastard Jason ruined my life. He got fucked in the ass by his dad long ago, and I probably got fucked in the vajay by my dad.
You see, where I came from, we definitely celebrated Christmas, but that's been a holiday that's been dead in my family for years now. Dad's dead, my only "real" sis is always locked up in jail or a mental hospital, and my mom's so far mentally gone that communication with her is beyond draining. Probably why I went in a time machine to fix things that didn't need fixing...