Facebook Memories

     
2016 – August      
While watching Being Human (a show about a Vampire, a Werewolf and a Ghost)      
Me: Babe, if a vampire offered you eternal life…      
Wife: YES!      
Me: Just like that huh? You’d watch me get old and die?      
Wife: BYE FELICIA!      
     
2015 – September      
Showing the boys Naked Gun 2 ½. Lt. Frank Drebin helps me explain the birds and the bees      
Xavier (11): What? I don’t get it      
Xander (10): I don’t get it either      
(A hot dog lands on a bun on screen)      
Both: Ooh! I GET IT      
Me: It’s the artistic portion of the film         
 
2015 - January  
While watching the movie Bedazzled  
Xavier (10): Dad, what does she mean by "get into her pants"?  
Me: What do you think? (raising one eyebrow)  
Xavier: The F word!  
Me: Yup  
Xavier: Fornicate!  
 
2013 – November      
Xavier (8): What’s a period?      
Mom explains it in a sensible manner so that an 8-year-old boy understands.      
Xander (7): It’s a bad week…dad said.      
Way to throw me under the bus      
     
2012 – October      
Xavier (8): Dad, I wanna go see freakin’ weenie tomorrow afterschool      
Me: what?      
Xavier: Freakin’ weenie. It comes out tomorrow.      
Me: Oh, FRANKEN-WEENIE      
Xavier: FREAKIN’ WEENIE      
He got right after a couple of tries      
     
2012 – September      
Xavier (8): Dad, I really want to vote for Mitt Romney      
Me: Why?      
Xavier: Because he likes meat loaf, M&Ms, and the color red, but not Black Obama      
Xander (7): (Angry) IT’S BARACK!      
A house divided      
     
2011 – November      
Me: What are you guys watching      
Xavier (7): Dude where’s my car?      
A minute later      
Xander (6): They’re hot chicks!      
     
2011 – August      
Me (while cooking): Xavier, go tell your brother he can come out of time out      
Xavier (7): (from the living room) XANDER, DAD SAID YOU CAN COME OUT OF TIME OUT!      
Never ceases to amaze me      
     
2011 – June      
While I’m watching Latinotv      
Xander (5): Are they speaking Spanish?      
Me: Yeah buddy      
Xander: Are they talking about soccer again?      
     
2011 – May      
Me: “Haha, you like Justin Bieber”      
Xander (5): “NOOOOO!”      
…two minutes later…      
Xander: “Haha, you like Justin Bieber”      
Me: “Boy, Imma punch in the mouth”      
     
2011 – February      
Me: “Wally, please pick this up, I don’t want to repeat myself      
Wally (9 years old): What?      
Me: I SAID I DON’T WANT TO REPEAT MYSELF!      
     
2010 – June      
While on time out…      
Xander (4): Mom, if I give you a dollar, can I come out of time out?      
Gotta admire him for trying