Facebook Memories

   
2016 – August  
While watching Being Human (a show about a Vampire, a Werewolf and a Ghost)  
Me: Babe, if a vampire offered you eternal life…  
Wife: YES!  
Me: Just like that huh? You’d watch me get old and die?  
Wife: BYE FELICIA!  
   
2015 – September  
Showing the boys Naked Gun 2 ½. Lt. Frank Drebin helps me explain the birds and the bees  
Xavier (11): What? I don’t get it  
Xander (10): I don’t get it either  
(A hot dog lands on a bun on screen)  
Both: Ooh! I GET IT  
Me: It’s the artistic portion of the film  
   
2013 – November  
Xavier (8): What’s a period?  
Mom explains it in a sensible manner so that an 8-year-old boy understands.  
Xander (7): It’s a bad week…dad said.  
Way to throw me under the bus  
   
2012 – October  
Xavier (8): Dad, I wanna go see freakin’ weenie tomorrow afterschool  
Me: what?  
Xavier: Freakin’ weenie. It comes out tomorrow.  
Me: Oh, FRANKEN-WEENIE  
Xavier: FREAKIN’ WEENIE  
He got right after a couple of tries  
   
2012 – September  
Xavier (8): Dad, I really want to vote for Mitt Romney  
Me: Why?  
Xavier: Because he likes meat loaf, M&Ms, and the color red, but not Black Obama  
Xander (7): (Angry) IT’S BARACK!  
A house divided  
   
2011 – November  
Me: What are you guys watching  
Xavier (7): Dude where’s my car?  
A minute later  
Xander (6): They’re hot chicks!  
   
2011 – August  
Me (while cooking): Xavier, go tell your brother he can come out of time out  
Xavier (7): (from the living room) XANDER, DAD SAID YOU CAN COME OUT OF TIME OUT!  
Never ceases to amaze me  
   
2011 – June  
While I’m watching Latinotv  
Xander (5): Are they speaking Spanish?  
Me: Yeah buddy  
Xander: Are they talking about soccer again?  
   
2011 – May  
Me: “Haha, you like Justin Bieber”  
Xander (5): “NOOOOO!”  
…two minutes later…  
Xander: “Haha, you like Justin Bieber”  
Me: “Boy, Imma punch in the mouth”  
   
2011 – February  
Me: “Wally, please pick this up, I don’t want to repeat myself  
Wally (9 years old): What?  
Me: I SAID I DON’T WANT TO REPEAT MYSELF!  
   
2010 – June  
While on time out…  
Xander (4): Mom, if I give you a dollar, can I come out of time out?  
Gotta admire him for trying