Even Reds Get Moon-eyed On Saturday Night

     “Now, you have me at the video store. And I was promised the first pick of the movie. I have a yen for something with a socio-political subtext. Here, is one, ‘The Trial’ an Orson Welles movie based on the Kafka novel. That is my choice.”        
     “How Kafkaesque, but watching a guy accused of a nameless crime sounds kind of dreary.”        
     “No not at all! You just have to get in the right mindset. Paranoia can be healthy in small doses like salt on French fries.”        
     “Then what about ‘Rebel Without A Cause?’”        
     “My urban rebellion has a cause. But the alienated youth played by James Dean has its appeal. Hey, what about this one?”        
     “You mean ‘Gentlemen Prefer Blondes’? Doesn’t that clash with your feminism?”        
    “Well yes kind of, but it could be construed as empowering. Marilyn Monroe was ahead of her time. She seduced the president of the US after all. That takes power. Besides I am in the mood. As a woman who is not afraid to use her influence, I need to provide no more explanation.”        
     “After that thesis how can I object?”        
     “When we get to your pad, who will prepare the hors d'oeuvres for our movie night?”        
     “I can make popcorn and have a six-pack of cokes in the fridge.”        
     “Nonsense, junk food is out of the question. Do you have anything nutritious at your man cave for troglodytes?”        
     “I never got called that on a first date. But yes I have some leftover, Greek salad. Does that count as health conscious?”          
     “Does it have GMOs?”        
     “It is gastronomically mid-eastern and organic.”        
     “I mean genetically modified organisms you silly man.”        
     “I don’t know if the olives are hybrids or not.”        
     “Then we will have to go grocery shopping first. I can sense that your pantry is full of things I dare not even mention.”        
     “OK, here we are at the store. What about barbecue?”        
     “I love barbecue tempeh.”        
      “Ever since I read ‘Animal Farm’ I got a humanized view of farm animals.”        
     “I’d never dine on animate creatures.”        
     “I don’t dine on cartoons either.”        
     “But Bugs Bunny can be taken as an allegory for the sly subversive pursued by Elmer Fudd the omnivorous capitalist with a hunger for the freedom Bugs represents. Bugs outwits the hunter and turns the tables on his predatory corporate values.”        
     “I always thought Bugs Bunny was the symbol of a hippie who sold out to the free market ethics by dining on carrots that were grown on large farms that put the small farmer out of business.”        
     “You have it all wrong. Bugs knew better than to acquire his favorite food from the grocery store. The subtext of Bugs as a wily rebel indicates his disaffection from laissez faire economics. He is a role model for Marxism who escapes the bar code nation by lurking in the underground of American society as a subversive vegetarian.”        
     “In the interest of collectivism and environ-mental consciousness, we will dine on soy protein.”        
     “You will love my stir-fried tofu too. Do you have your card with you?”        
     “Wouldn’t me paying for dinner conflict with        
your feminism?”        
     “That depends, on whose pocket you are in.  Are you a running dog lackey of the capitalist imperialist oppressors?”        
     “I teach social studies to high school kids. But I am a knee-jerk bleeding heart liberal.”        
     “I am a socialist but buy my Bauhaus clothes from catalogs and they are pricey. Does that mean I’ve sold out?”        
     “Being true to yourself isn’t a luxury like going first class on a plane.”        
     “True, so if being myself is having a car, house, and front row seats to the opera does that absolve me from using my resources to help the poor?”        
     “Shall we break out my vintage Chablis and live like king and queen for tonight even though it was paid for by the almighty dollar?”        
     “Well, maybe just this once. But I’ll still vote for Bernie Sanders and read Noam Chomsky.”        
     “So will I darling. Let’s have pizza delivered.”        
     “Let’s also watch that great social satire program ‘Saturday Midnight Groove’.”        
     “You seem too cerebral for that show.”        
     “It makes me feel groovy and in the mood.”        
     “Since you aren’t wearing a mood ring your emotional weather is a mystery to me.”        
     “I let my hair down and laugh a lot.”        
     “You mean intellectuals like you can dig comedy shows for the masses?”        
     “Oh just watch me. I can get wild and wooly hearing those jokes.”        
     “I didn’t think you had it in you.”        
     “Think again partner.”        
     “What happens next?”        
     “That is my secret ingredient.”        
     “Does it involve your facial expression which is that of a goldfish blowing bubbles?”        
     “Maybe my bubble blowing is yoga breathing to destress by sinking into my inner aquarium because a betta is lurking above.”     
     “I see you as a lonely little tetra seeking a way out of her fishbowl world.”        
      “Bingo, but it only happens when romance is in the air. So only if your wooing is romantic in nature will there be osculation.”        
    “Spoken like a true intellectual.”        
    “Whose heart is not up for grabs but rather soft caresses.”
Written by goldenmyst
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