Silence of a Queer Girl

I was never Straight
But I never opened my mouth
Growing up in a church
Screaming that the gays
And the queers were going to hell
I learned to hide the rainbow in me
I stuffed it down deep inside of me
No one knew until I was out of that home
No one knew until I was out of that town
No one knew until I had left him...
And still there are people who do not know
That when I close my eyes and see my future
That person could very well be a woman
Just as well as it could be a man
I'm not sure they'll be nonbinary but maybe?
Sometimes the silence is deafening
Watching my friends scream out their identities
"We're here! We're queer! Get over it!"
And how I just wished that I felt safe to join
I knew what would happen if I did
That they would kick me out on the street
Fosterparents and biofamilies those strong christian roots
Roots that were weighted chains around my body
And cutting deep into my very soul
Love the sinner hate the sin
Ignore it, repress it, ignore it, repress it
Pray the gay away, hand it over to god
Feeling the those angry hands hold me down
The oil poured on my forehead, that rancid stench
Too many hands, too many hands touching me
And I wished for the longest time that those things worked
Even when I was "safe" I could never open my mouth and say loudly
I am not Straight. I am not heterosexual.
Woman are just as appealing to me as men
More so than I will ever admit even here
I wish my world had become safer faster
Maybe then I wouldn't be having so many problems with men.