deepundergroundpoetry.com
Perspective
There are never adequate words
to describe the loss of a child—
that is what you must realize
when extending sympathies
Each child is individual, unique
in their own respective existence;
there is an emptiness regardless
of how many siblings remain
Things not to say to a mother
grieving the death of her child:
"At least you have more children"
"At least you have the other twin"
"Did he just die, or commit suicide?"
"At least you had years with him;
some lose them at birth,
or can have none at all"
and so forth
Please, shut up—
for futue reference:
things to say to a mother
grieving the loss of her child:
"My deepest condolences [ stop ]"
"My heartfelt condolences [ stop ]"
"You are in my prayers [ stop ]"
"If there is anything I can do. . .[ stop ]"
"I am here for you [ stop ]"
"He was the sweetest boy,
I loved his [ smile, laugh, jokes, etc ] [ stop ]"
There are no adequate words
when a mother loses a child—
don't make it about yourself;
and, if nothing else
please, know when to stop
~
to describe the loss of a child—
that is what you must realize
when extending sympathies
Each child is individual, unique
in their own respective existence;
there is an emptiness regardless
of how many siblings remain
Things not to say to a mother
grieving the death of her child:
"At least you have more children"
"At least you have the other twin"
"Did he just die, or commit suicide?"
"At least you had years with him;
some lose them at birth,
or can have none at all"
and so forth
Please, shut up—
for futue reference:
things to say to a mother
grieving the loss of her child:
"My deepest condolences [ stop ]"
"My heartfelt condolences [ stop ]"
"You are in my prayers [ stop ]"
"If there is anything I can do. . .[ stop ]"
"I am here for you [ stop ]"
"He was the sweetest boy,
I loved his [ smile, laugh, jokes, etc ] [ stop ]"
There are no adequate words
when a mother loses a child—
don't make it about yourself;
and, if nothing else
please, know when to stop
~
Author's Note
In memory of Carson: 10.25.2005-09.20.2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 32
reading list entries 17
comments 64
reads 1344
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Perspective
24th Sep 2020 6:58pm
I won't bother you with too many words - just letting you know that I care, and that you are in my prayers in this time of grieving. So sorry for the loss 💔
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Re. Perspective
24th Sep 2020 7:02pm
Oh my poetess.. I am so sorry, and my deepest and most humbly condolences to you and your family
0
Re. Perspective
24th Sep 2020 7:50pm
This is beautiful and painful, in equal measure. I know this pain, and you are spot on. Much love to you and your family, Ahavati ♥️
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Re. Perspective
24th Sep 2020 8:13pm
Re. Perspective
24th Sep 2020 8:15pm
Re. Perspective
24th Sep 2020 8:18pm
Re. Perspective
Anonymous
24th Sep 2020 8:18pm
Hugs ❤️
0
Re. Perspective
Anonymous
- Edited 24th Sep 2020 9:04pm
24th Sep 2020 9:00pm
You are a beautiful spirit, I'm so sorry.
I pray that somehow you and your family are able to find peace and strength. I know losing a child is never easy and the "why" simply doesn't matter.
No one should be asking "Why?" or "How?" at this point (or ever for that matter).
So very sorry, my dear. 😔
I pray that somehow you and your family are able to find peace and strength. I know losing a child is never easy and the "why" simply doesn't matter.
No one should be asking "Why?" or "How?" at this point (or ever for that matter).
So very sorry, my dear. 😔
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Re. Perspective
24th Sep 2020 9:03pm
Re. Perspective
24th Sep 2020 9:24pm
..............at least i never had to hear all the < at-least(s) > You spilled when my Daughter died.
This spill hit me like a granite block to the head while an arrow pieced me at the same time.
i realize a Mom losing a child is way worse but i've felt a little bit of how it feels and it keeps me feeling every damn day............
i can only imagine what a Mom must feel everyday.
thank You for causing me to cry............(no, really, thank You, Beautiful Sister)
This spill hit me like a granite block to the head while an arrow pieced me at the same time.
i realize a Mom losing a child is way worse but i've felt a little bit of how it feels and it keeps me feeling every damn day............
i can only imagine what a Mom must feel everyday.
thank You for causing me to cry............(no, really, thank You, Beautiful Sister)
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Re: Re. Perspective
27th Sep 2020 8:53am
Re: Re. Perspective
27th Sep 2020 12:31pm
Re. Perspective
Anonymous
25th Sep 2020 00:16am
🙏
0
Re. Perspective
🌹🌹🌹💕🙏 I have no words to write that could ease your sadness. At this point words that always came easy have abandoned my pen dear A. You are joined in sadness dear friend.
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Re. Perspective
25th Sep 2020 10:47am
Re. Perspective
25th Sep 2020 11:49am
Re. Perspective
25th Sep 2020 12:02pm
Anything that begins with "at least" is bound to be wrong.
So, so sorry for your loss... ❤❤
So, so sorry for your loss... ❤❤
0
Re. Perspective
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Sep 2020 12:25pm
25th Sep 2020 12:24pm
Bless your hearts. ❤
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Re. Perspective
25th Sep 2020 12:32pm
There are no words to comfort a parent losing a child,
Its never easy, there's no short cut out,
There's no replacement...
All I can say is still your heart, cherish his memories and remember him as if he was your first and last....
Godspeed
Its never easy, there's no short cut out,
There's no replacement...
All I can say is still your heart, cherish his memories and remember him as if he was your first and last....
Godspeed
0
Re. Perspective
25th Sep 2020 8:56pm
Re: Re. Perspective
Re. Perspective
25th Sep 2020 10:37pm
Re: Re. Perspective
26th Sep 2020 6:58pm
Re. Perspective
26th Sep 2020 7:17pm
Re. Perspective
Anonymous
27th Sep 2020 1:08am
Hey Ahavati........thank you for sharing your grief with us........will be lifting prayers and thoughts your way.........luv ya my friend........sending lots of purple luv and hugs your way xo :) 🌸💜
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Re: Re. Perspective
27th Sep 2020 2:14am
Re. Perspective
27th Sep 2020 2:15pm
Re: Re. Perspective
27th Sep 2020 2:41pm
Re. Perspective
Re: Re. Perspective
27th Sep 2020 5:59pm
Re: Re. Perspective
28th Sep 2020 2:32pm
Re. Perspective
28th Sep 2020 2:37pm
often times when i get so emotionally wrecked by a piece, i switch into complete editor mode so that i can think objectively. ripping into it lets me push my emotions aside and all i think about is critical/technical things. i've tried to do that since i first laid eyes on this piece and....i just can't.
so i will pull up beside you and sit quietly. offering what little strength and grace i have in me to you.
so i will pull up beside you and sit quietly. offering what little strength and grace i have in me to you.
1
Re: Re. Perspective
28th Sep 2020 2:58pm
Thank you, Daisy. I am the same way, so understand completely. Your support means a lot, particularly to my niece, who lost not only her son, but her husband this time last year. That's a lot to go through, but she's is a trooper and hanging tough for her other children.
Re. Perspective
This is great advice, I would offer to write something as you did, as I've done in my own family when relatives died, memorial and funerary poems. But, everyone has to think of what they can offer. Help is better than words, I would think, or a care package could be helpful.
1
Re: Re. Perspective
29th Sep 2020 3:02pm
Re. Perspective
2nd Oct 2020 4:43pm
Ava my dear sweet friend how brave of you to share such intimate feelings .
I am shocked and quite sad 😢😢😔
upon reading.
Please know I can’t even begin to understand or feel what you’re feeling just know I love you
Love Always
Jackie
I am shocked and quite sad 😢😢😔
upon reading.
Please know I can’t even begin to understand or feel what you’re feeling just know I love you
Love Always
Jackie
1
Re: Re. Perspective
2nd Oct 2020 4:45pm
Thank you so much for your understanding, Jackie. I have conveyed all these well-wishes to my niece, and she felt each one. She lost her husband a year ago in the same week she lost Carson. My heart just breaks for her. <3