A better way ?

I spent years on drugs, long past adolescence  
but I refuse to spend my life, stuck in convalescence
out here in the country, I think that I’m fine
I drink a lil beer, might sniff a lil line
I know deep inside, this disease will progress
wont be long before I'm back in Pittsburgh, banging dope like the rest
I do ok when im out here all alone
but going back to da burgh, its like a fucking war zone
so much temptation, more then one can resist
going there im fucked, like getting rammed in the ass with a fist
methadone & suboxone are only false hope
I thought I was better cause I had a doctors note
they will say its a way out and comfort your fears
little do they tell you,  you will be trapped for years
your only making docs wallet thicker
 versus coping off some shady ass nigga
just hope that welfare insurance don’t run out
cause prowling the street for subs is what your whole day will be about
these little pills will even fuck with your head
the withdrawal will make you wish you were dead
it will make heroin detox feel like a mere cold
prolonged use weakens muscles, your bones and will make you feel old
3 months off opiates, still malnourished and under weight
I eat and eat and try to lift weights
sitting in this apartment all alone, no cable tv
watching the same mother fucking 3 dvds
I need something to pass the time
help keep this bull shit off of my mind
fuck meetings, there just a joke
don’t care if im homeless, beat down & broke
many hypocrites, inside those walls
so quick to point out all of your flaws
they preach and preach how great is their life
no longer go home drunk and beat on their wife
now they sip coffee and bitch about there job
and how there new wife is a fucking slob
if I have to hear this shit in order to stay clean
id rather spend my life a fucking dope fiend
I know there has to be a better way
to keep all of my demons at bay
I prey to a god for whom I lost believe
so of course, I get no relief
only prey when I’m fucked..lord get me threw this
prayers might as well be coming from Judas
I’ll say it again, there has to be a better way
all I can do is take it day by day
I prow the internet for information on addiction
seems like I know more about this damn affliction
so called experts don’t know shit
I swear they intend to keep us all sick
traditional rehabs don’t work, with there 4% success rate
there fishing for dollars, with heroin as bait
its all about money, as with anything in life
getting rich on ones misery and painful strife
its all one big racket, like alcohol & Capone
only difference is its legal, guess no option but to go it alone
I'm open to suggestion, a new point of view
there has to be a better way,  a new path to pursue
fuck this poem, I've run out of words
hied this warning, or be like cattle and follow the herds