needy (raw 2 a.m. thoughts)

if you're not feeling hot,
then you don't wanna hear me talk
another string cut loose
and i'm about a finger snap away from breaking
i don't know why i feel like crying--heart's shaking
lie through your teeth, whisper all those fantasy things
so i can distance myself from reality a bit more
when will i ascend to whore
status?--guess it's my god given right
spread my legs--it's half past midnight
didn't even ask about my day this time
but i'm so fucking cold, lonely, bitter and dazed
that i'll live off your empty praise

i can't save you, can't fit into you
you're nothing but a dream blurred into the back of my mind
so let's talk about fucking in a haze, get less sad for a minute
till i'm not as big of a cynic, till i drop the gimmick.

you're oblivious, i care a little too much but never dare let it show
keep my chest closed up and i'm crying
my world is falling apart
you were supposed to be my shoulders
but i guess i never fed you the right lines
and everybody's sick and i'm tired
my brain's so built up, i think i'm trapped in there
excuse the whining but i'm still crying
because i hate you for the moment
and i'll regret this tomorrow.