deepundergroundpoetry.com
The Blue Gene
Tristesse sheds another tear
Weighted from a troubled soul
Impurities and toxins
Mixed in several shades of blue
Blood approaching violet with the past
The disappointment of a father
His career stifled in dead ends
Bringing home the rage after Cuervo at El Rey
A mother meaning well
Her loyalty expected, her deference assured
The marriage of obedience never in dispute
Tristesse feels conflicted when she dons her mask
The face of neutrality, poise and easy grace
No trace of that blood and turmoil
No hint of its antithesis
The tears and years of abjection and defeat
Somehow she gets by
Repeating her mantra in an effort not to cry.
Weighted from a troubled soul
Impurities and toxins
Mixed in several shades of blue
Blood approaching violet with the past
The disappointment of a father
His career stifled in dead ends
Bringing home the rage after Cuervo at El Rey
A mother meaning well
Her loyalty expected, her deference assured
The marriage of obedience never in dispute
Tristesse feels conflicted when she dons her mask
The face of neutrality, poise and easy grace
No trace of that blood and turmoil
No hint of its antithesis
The tears and years of abjection and defeat
Somehow she gets by
Repeating her mantra in an effort not to cry.
Published 18th Oct 2017
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The author encourages honest critique.
dearest Sir Crow I feel the deep pain
of your lady bound to servitude
to her husband & parents
& of donning that mask of happiness..
engrossing write..
love Crim
of your lady bound to servitude
to her husband & parents
& of donning that mask of happiness..
engrossing write..
love Crim
18th Oct 2017 7:39pm
18th Oct 2017 7:45pm
18th Oct 2017 8:44pm
21st Oct 2017 9:26pm
18th Oct 2017 11:09pm
21st Oct 2017 9:28pm
19th Oct 2017 6:26pm
Que' extremadamente triste...para tu senorita, Tristesse.....
Yet.... very little compares to the inner strength of a woman...especially when her emotional/physical pain becomes practically unbearable ! Still--somehow--to the world, she manages to disguise her suffering.
My Friend....a pen salute to you, for creating such a poignant tribute to this courage! This is one that honors all those women, whose spirits continue to persevere !
Yet.... very little compares to the inner strength of a woman...especially when her emotional/physical pain becomes practically unbearable ! Still--somehow--to the world, she manages to disguise her suffering.
My Friend....a pen salute to you, for creating such a poignant tribute to this courage! This is one that honors all those women, whose spirits continue to persevere !
21st Oct 2017 9:31pm
And hopefully they'll continue to press on, exemplifying bravery men would do well to consider. You write such beautiful comments, Enchantress. Thank you!
i really like that you create detailed images about ordinary (or not-so-ordinary), sometimes proletarian life in your poems. the flowery diction that poetry can be known for sometimes just bogs it down. so the directness of your wording is refreshing.
by the way, question about the last two lines: were you going for a rhyme between "by" and "cry" for emphasis or a certain effect? after reading this a few times, it feels a little like the sentiment behind the penultimate line is already implied from everything stated beforehand, at the end of the 2nd and beginning of 3rd stanzas.
by the way, question about the last two lines: were you going for a rhyme between "by" and "cry" for emphasis or a certain effect? after reading this a few times, it feels a little like the sentiment behind the penultimate line is already implied from everything stated beforehand, at the end of the 2nd and beginning of 3rd stanzas.
