deepundergroundpoetry.com
She's Going Mad. (Alice In Wonderland)
She's Going Mad,
Seeing The Beautiful Creatures,
She's Going Mad,She's Losing Her Head.
She Cries Until Her Tears Turn Blood Red,
She's Going Mad.
Seeing All The Beautiful Creatures.
Alice Doesn't Want To Leave Wonderland,
So Some Rich Prince Can Ask For Her Hand.
And Slip On A Wedding Band,
Alice Is Going Mad,
Seeing All The Beautiful Creatures,
And Their Odd Features,
Alice Is Losing Her Head.
Waiting For Her Tears To Turn Blood Red,
Alice Doesn't Want To Leave Wonderland,
So Some Prince Can't Ask For Her Hand And Slip On A Wedding Band,
Alice Is Going Mad
Seeing All Of The Beautiful Creatures
Seeing The Beautiful Creatures,
She's Going Mad,She's Losing Her Head.
She Cries Until Her Tears Turn Blood Red,
She's Going Mad.
Seeing All The Beautiful Creatures.
Alice Doesn't Want To Leave Wonderland,
So Some Rich Prince Can Ask For Her Hand.
And Slip On A Wedding Band,
Alice Is Going Mad,
Seeing All The Beautiful Creatures,
And Their Odd Features,
Alice Is Losing Her Head.
Waiting For Her Tears To Turn Blood Red,
Alice Doesn't Want To Leave Wonderland,
So Some Prince Can't Ask For Her Hand And Slip On A Wedding Band,
Alice Is Going Mad
Seeing All Of The Beautiful Creatures
Published 9th Jun 2014
| Edited 3rd Oct 2019
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The author encourages honest critique.
9th Jun 2014 8:09am
9th Jun 2014 9:16pm
9th Jun 2014 9:21pm
I get the overall theme of the piece, insanity. And yes, its common to associate loss of mind with repetition, but I feel it's a little over played. Not as much as it could have been, but still.
Construction probably saved the poem, as well as the lines. It had that sing-song vibe to it, which was pretty cool.
And I have a problem with the poem being a tribute to "Alice in Wonderland". It makes your poem seem less original, maybe that's what you were going for. But even if you want to make something a tribute, you could maybe be less blunt. I did a tribute to "Welcome to Nightvale" by emulating the way they critique radio and politics through obscure metaphors, but nowhere did I mention Cecil or Carlos or the Glow Cloud. Maybe you could take the themes you like most from a particular series and emulate it. Maybe you like the symbolism of "Alice in Wonderland". Then you could do what Carroll/Dodgson did but differently. It makes your poem full of Easter Eggs, more original and/or more fun to write.
Construction probably saved the poem, as well as the lines. It had that sing-song vibe to it, which was pretty cool.
And I have a problem with the poem being a tribute to "Alice in Wonderland". It makes your poem seem less original, maybe that's what you were going for. But even if you want to make something a tribute, you could maybe be less blunt. I did a tribute to "Welcome to Nightvale" by emulating the way they critique radio and politics through obscure metaphors, but nowhere did I mention Cecil or Carlos or the Glow Cloud. Maybe you could take the themes you like most from a particular series and emulate it. Maybe you like the symbolism of "Alice in Wonderland". Then you could do what Carroll/Dodgson did but differently. It makes your poem full of Easter Eggs, more original and/or more fun to write.
11th Jun 2014 1:03am
