The Heroic Young Man And The Older Woman

 
I was twenty one, she was forty five at least.
She invited me to walk home with her,
all the while feeding my ego with promises of a sexual feast.
Could my life get any better?

Inside her home she pulled me onto the bed.
She took me in her mouth and I got an instant erection.
In those days I got hard bumping into furniture never mind getting head.
I loved older women, they were so generous with their affection.

Then she excused herself and disappeared into the bathroom.
I lay naked on the bed feeling the confidence of a king
while erotic images that I couldn't help assume,
danced merrily around the sexual feast she would bring.

Then I heard those awful and familiar sounds:
Ka-Ka-Ka, kshhhh, ki=ki-ki-ki- . . . Silence.
Then toilet paper rolling off its holder followed by mini-rounds
of airy farts and more stacatto-like intestinal violence.

The flush:  I lay paralysed.
She came out of the bathroom:  "Here I am lover."
All my sexual desire, every erotic thought in my mind was exorcised.
I wanted to get out of there and run for cover.

"What happened here?"

My once glorious erection had mutated into a snail.
I could smell the stench and noticed dingleberries caught in her hair down there.
I didn't have the heart to embarrass, and I didn't want to fail.

In spite of another inadvertent whiff of her poor bodily ablution,
I sucked it up and didn't flee;
instead, I breathed through my mouth and found the solution,
and besides, what 21 year old would refuse sex that was free?
She took me in her mouth and once again my cock rose gloriously.