Poetry competition CLOSED 13th September 2012 1:21am
WINNER
milkysensation
milkysensation
RUNNERS-UP:
SmokeMirrorComplex
and foreva
Bullied
My apology letter to you
Im sorry
I wanted to be cool and fit in
but now I realize how wrong I was
now that its to late
so at a quarter after eight
im opting out
I thought by teasing you
and hurting you
that it would make me more cool
everyone laughed when I taunted you
it felt good when I kicked you
and that feeling of power that over came me
as you fell to the ground
it was like you became my bitch
and I dominated you
In time the wounds might heal
but the scars would only fade
I cant live with the guilt anymore
of what I did to you
the hate that I inspired
how could I be so cruel
Is this some kind of karmaric retribution
or human evolotion
that I feel so sick inside
no probably not
was it the look in your eyes as I nicknamed you chuckie cheese
the little twinkle of a tear drop that ran down your chubby cheeks
maybe
or maybe it was the girl
the girl who I have taunted since elemetry
who today was so nice to me
so forgiving
even after every thing that I did to her
she would still be my friend now that I have no one
I lost everything
yet there she stood eager to help me
on that first day of highschool when I didnt know anything
I hope that you believe me
this is a true story
I really have changed
I know I always called you a cowerd
and made fun of you
but maybe it should of been the other way around
you were the strong one to survive everything I threw at you
even though I made you cry
you never gave up
like im about to
You probably want to know why
why I made fun of you all these years
why I made your life a living hell
even after I had lots of friends
I didnt need to be a dickweed to you anymore
but I chose to
the truth is I didnt do it to fit in
or because my family is fucked
I tortured you because I enjoyed it
I am one twisted litle fuck
and thats why I think the world is beter without me
Im not asking for forgivnes
I dont need you pitty
and I dont want to be friends
I just want to set things right
before I die
You are a fat ass
and I dont like you
it was wrong of me to point it out
and it was wrong of me to torment you
if I could go back in time
I would take it all back
I realize now that the type of friends I had
were not good friends
actually they fucking sucked hard hairy dick
ok so I wanted beter friends
friends I could rely on
friends who I could trust to always have my back
but what I got when I tried to be nice was no friends
funny how that works
when im an asshole
people like me
when im nice
people are assholes to me
My advice to you
is to keep being you
the fact that you have survived this far into your life with nothing
makes you a stronger person then I ever was
I hope that you dont turn into a dick like I was
this world needs more honest and caring people
people like you
I know this sounds gay
so you beter fucking savor this
cause its the last thing im going to say
IM SORRY
Goodbye
you wont have to worry about me anymore
Sincerly
Aaiden
Im sorry
I wanted to be cool and fit in
but now I realize how wrong I was
now that its to late
so at a quarter after eight
im opting out
I thought by teasing you
and hurting you
that it would make me more cool
everyone laughed when I taunted you
it felt good when I kicked you
and that feeling of power that over came me
as you fell to the ground
it was like you became my bitch
and I dominated you
In time the wounds might heal
but the scars would only fade
I cant live with the guilt anymore
of what I did to you
the hate that I inspired
how could I be so cruel
Is this some kind of karmaric retribution
or human evolotion
that I feel so sick inside
no probably not
was it the look in your eyes as I nicknamed you chuckie cheese
the little twinkle of a tear drop that ran down your chubby cheeks
maybe
or maybe it was the girl
the girl who I have taunted since elemetry
who today was so nice to me
so forgiving
even after every thing that I did to her
she would still be my friend now that I have no one
I lost everything
yet there she stood eager to help me
on that first day of highschool when I didnt know anything
I hope that you believe me
this is a true story
I really have changed
I know I always called you a cowerd
and made fun of you
but maybe it should of been the other way around
you were the strong one to survive everything I threw at you
even though I made you cry
you never gave up
like im about to
You probably want to know why
why I made fun of you all these years
why I made your life a living hell
even after I had lots of friends
I didnt need to be a dickweed to you anymore
but I chose to
the truth is I didnt do it to fit in
or because my family is fucked
I tortured you because I enjoyed it
I am one twisted litle fuck
and thats why I think the world is beter without me
Im not asking for forgivnes
I dont need you pitty
and I dont want to be friends
I just want to set things right
before I die
You are a fat ass
and I dont like you
it was wrong of me to point it out
and it was wrong of me to torment you
if I could go back in time
I would take it all back
I realize now that the type of friends I had
were not good friends
actually they fucking sucked hard hairy dick
ok so I wanted beter friends
friends I could rely on
friends who I could trust to always have my back
but what I got when I tried to be nice was no friends
funny how that works
when im an asshole
people like me
when im nice
people are assholes to me
My advice to you
is to keep being you
the fact that you have survived this far into your life with nothing
makes you a stronger person then I ever was
I hope that you dont turn into a dick like I was
this world needs more honest and caring people
people like you
I know this sounds gay
so you beter fucking savor this
cause its the last thing im going to say
IM SORRY
Goodbye
you wont have to worry about me anymore
Sincerly
Aaiden
- Dark Feeling -
This is for the ones who hurt me, lied to my face,
Robbed me of my dignity and made me wrathful:
For you, there can be not forgiveness, nor grace.
You thought me blind, but I was ever watchful…
And I know the demons of your heart, your sins!
You wanted to know my pain and my agonies…
But never could you imagine, where such begins.
I shall show you, and bring you to your destinies:
The myriad hells that await the wicked, the cruel,
And all who harm the innocent and corrupt souls.
Did you think me but a mortal and merely a fool?
My power, so much darkness and light controls!
I am, the fallen angel you chose not to believe in.
My arms lead to either Heaven or Hell, eternally,
And my soul is not of the understanding of men…
As I long for a paradise built from ash, infernally.
The ashes of evil, the bones of those who hated,
Upon such damned ones, I would raise a tower!
To rival Babel; until we fallen, have been sated…
Ancient wrongs righted in a last apocalyptic hour;
My old wounds healed, my anger laid to its’ rest.
Come let us dance in battle, upon scarlet plains!
Bring your swords and arrows nigh to my breast.
I will show you the path that leads to the flames!
You have roused the Serpent, the Great Dragon,
Until the very depths of the underworld do rock!
My heart has become a dark and empty flagon…
Because of you; and now the sky grows so dark.
My time approaches, my bonds weaken at last…
And though you though to destroy all my beauty,
You who do evil: your season will soon be past!
My glory is forever, and in the end you shall see.
I did not raise the sword first, it was you as did,
When you would not accept me, in compassion!
I was your victim, but I will not lie down dead…
For I must stand taller: in more splendid fashion.
I work my spells in shadow, unseen by all eyes,
Invoking the gods whom you do not know exist.
Whilst above, the clouds gather in black skies…
As the waters rage on, below, within the Abyss.
I wish I could have simply been happy, content!
A princess in a fairy tale, an angel singing sweet,
But because of your prejudice, Hell must vent…
Until all who hate as you hated do lie at my feet!
Fear the evil within yourself, for I have seen this:
That evil begets evil, until you are so consumed,
Ashen, by the fire that robs you of peaceful bliss.
I cannot weep for those who are self-entombed!
Love must release me, from this torment I bear…
But shall that love come, before the end of time?
You do not know my desire, and never did care.
So I never knew you, and with my will sublime…
My heart condemns you, to your created prison.
The hell that you did not believe in, nor fathom…
Your own remorselessness, becomes the prism,
To reflect the inferno that has no top or bottom!
Why do people cause others to feel such anger?
I did not want this dark feeling that you impose!
But you wanted to see that it grew ever stronger.
I will find serenity and deprive you of my woes…
You cannot touch my spirit, for it is beyond you.
I am not your equal; I am superior in every way!
Because I can still love, and know all that is true.
I need not fear darkness, for beyond it lies day!
This is for the ones who hurt me, lied to my face,
Robbed me of my dignity and made me wrathful:
For you, there can be not forgiveness, nor grace.
You thought me blind, but I was ever watchful…
And I know the demons of your heart, your sins!
You wanted to know my pain and my agonies…
But never could you imagine, where such begins.
I shall show you, and bring you to your destinies:
The myriad hells that await the wicked, the cruel,
And all who harm the innocent and corrupt souls.
Did you think me but a mortal and merely a fool?
My power, so much darkness and light controls!
I am, the fallen angel you chose not to believe in.
My arms lead to either Heaven or Hell, eternally,
And my soul is not of the understanding of men…
As I long for a paradise built from ash, infernally.
The ashes of evil, the bones of those who hated,
Upon such damned ones, I would raise a tower!
To rival Babel; until we fallen, have been sated…
Ancient wrongs righted in a last apocalyptic hour;
My old wounds healed, my anger laid to its’ rest.
Come let us dance in battle, upon scarlet plains!
Bring your swords and arrows nigh to my breast.
I will show you the path that leads to the flames!
You have roused the Serpent, the Great Dragon,
Until the very depths of the underworld do rock!
My heart has become a dark and empty flagon…
Because of you; and now the sky grows so dark.
My time approaches, my bonds weaken at last…
And though you though to destroy all my beauty,
You who do evil: your season will soon be past!
My glory is forever, and in the end you shall see.
I did not raise the sword first, it was you as did,
When you would not accept me, in compassion!
I was your victim, but I will not lie down dead…
For I must stand taller: in more splendid fashion.
I work my spells in shadow, unseen by all eyes,
Invoking the gods whom you do not know exist.
Whilst above, the clouds gather in black skies…
As the waters rage on, below, within the Abyss.
I wish I could have simply been happy, content!
A princess in a fairy tale, an angel singing sweet,
But because of your prejudice, Hell must vent…
Until all who hate as you hated do lie at my feet!
Fear the evil within yourself, for I have seen this:
That evil begets evil, until you are so consumed,
Ashen, by the fire that robs you of peaceful bliss.
I cannot weep for those who are self-entombed!
Love must release me, from this torment I bear…
But shall that love come, before the end of time?
You do not know my desire, and never did care.
So I never knew you, and with my will sublime…
My heart condemns you, to your created prison.
The hell that you did not believe in, nor fathom…
Your own remorselessness, becomes the prism,
To reflect the inferno that has no top or bottom!
Why do people cause others to feel such anger?
I did not want this dark feeling that you impose!
But you wanted to see that it grew ever stronger.
I will find serenity and deprive you of my woes…
You cannot touch my spirit, for it is beyond you.
I am not your equal; I am superior in every way!
Because I can still love, and know all that is true.
I need not fear darkness, for beyond it lies day!
She stands alone
Wondering what she did wrong
There's nobody home
All she can do is put it in a song
Nobody knows
All of the pain she's come to known
She takes all of the blows
But the wounds can not be sewn
She ends up in this world as an outcast
Even though she smiles
It eats away from her past
And she keeps running for miles
If only you could hear her now
She's gone to a better place
Now they know how
It feels to be misplaced
Wondering what she did wrong
There's nobody home
All she can do is put it in a song
Nobody knows
All of the pain she's come to known
She takes all of the blows
But the wounds can not be sewn
She ends up in this world as an outcast
Even though she smiles
It eats away from her past
And she keeps running for miles
If only you could hear her now
She's gone to a better place
Now they know how
It feels to be misplaced
WHAT GOES AROUND
EXTREME CONTENT
As I stand over you
Remembering all those things you did to me
All those times you stuffed me in the locker
Every time you tripped me
Each time I passed near that one girl I liked
All those headlocks you gave me
I remember them well as they always made my ears hot
All the beatings I received from you
I remember the injuries very well
Two broken ribs, two fractured ribs and a broken arm
The hellish periods of my life
As I stand over you
Remembering all those things you said about me
Saying that my father abandoned home because he was gay
My mother couldn't afford to provide for the family
So we depended on welfare for food
I remember you calling me "the cheap-haircut boy"
But I patiently waited
Waited for my chance to get back at you
For as they say "What goes Around, Comes Around"
As I stand over you
Twenty years after the bullying
Twenty years of patiently waiting
I finally exacted my revenge on you
Followed you to a club and spiked your drink
Your routine wasn't too hard to figure out
Since you are a creature of habit
I picked you up and loaded you onto your truck
Took you to an abandoned warehouse
And prepared you for my own type of bullying
As I stand over you
I remember how charged up I was
As I saw you lying in my table of artwork
The blood flow in me skyrocketed and told me 'I am alive'
As I saw the terror in your eyes
When I told you of the monster you created
And showed you my arsenal
As I stand over you
I remember how charged up I was
When I sew your lips together ever so slowly
And hearing the muffled sounds of pain
After sowing you lips I removed your toenails
One by one
Then poured hot water over your wounds
Savoring the muffled agony coming from your sown lips
I then broke you as you did me
Two broken ribs, two fractured ribs and a broken arm
Then I figured 'since it's revenge, lets take it one step further'
Broke four more ribs, bashed in your knee, pulled out your teeth
Cut a pound of flesh from your gluteus
And force fed you, passing it down with your blood
As I stand over you
I remember how I enjoyed every moment of it
Relished in the pain I gave you
I felt like you back then
Finally I finished you off by strangling the life out of you
The feeling of removing your very essence
Felt Ravishing
As I stand over you
Watching the casket descends into the cold ground
You and I know what happened to you
Your tattered and ragged body
And I'm sure they found the note I left in you
As I stand over you
All I remember is that all you will ever be is a feint memory of a bully
EXTREME CONTENT
As I stand over you
Remembering all those things you did to me
All those times you stuffed me in the locker
Every time you tripped me
Each time I passed near that one girl I liked
All those headlocks you gave me
I remember them well as they always made my ears hot
All the beatings I received from you
I remember the injuries very well
Two broken ribs, two fractured ribs and a broken arm
The hellish periods of my life
As I stand over you
Remembering all those things you said about me
Saying that my father abandoned home because he was gay
My mother couldn't afford to provide for the family
So we depended on welfare for food
I remember you calling me "the cheap-haircut boy"
But I patiently waited
Waited for my chance to get back at you
For as they say "What goes Around, Comes Around"
As I stand over you
Twenty years after the bullying
Twenty years of patiently waiting
I finally exacted my revenge on you
Followed you to a club and spiked your drink
Your routine wasn't too hard to figure out
Since you are a creature of habit
I picked you up and loaded you onto your truck
Took you to an abandoned warehouse
And prepared you for my own type of bullying
As I stand over you
I remember how charged up I was
As I saw you lying in my table of artwork
The blood flow in me skyrocketed and told me 'I am alive'
As I saw the terror in your eyes
When I told you of the monster you created
And showed you my arsenal
As I stand over you
I remember how charged up I was
When I sew your lips together ever so slowly
And hearing the muffled sounds of pain
After sowing you lips I removed your toenails
One by one
Then poured hot water over your wounds
Savoring the muffled agony coming from your sown lips
I then broke you as you did me
Two broken ribs, two fractured ribs and a broken arm
Then I figured 'since it's revenge, lets take it one step further'
Broke four more ribs, bashed in your knee, pulled out your teeth
Cut a pound of flesh from your gluteus
And force fed you, passing it down with your blood
As I stand over you
I remember how I enjoyed every moment of it
Relished in the pain I gave you
I felt like you back then
Finally I finished you off by strangling the life out of you
The feeling of removing your very essence
Felt Ravishing
As I stand over you
Watching the casket descends into the cold ground
You and I know what happened to you
Your tattered and ragged body
And I'm sure they found the note I left in you
As I stand over you
All I remember is that all you will ever be is a feint memory of a bully
Not exactly bullied, more like assaulted. The experience leaves permanent scars just the same. This is my Therapy
"Thanks For My PTSD"
You fucking child predator
These scars I now foster
In the military I was proud
You were my Seargent
What you did was not allowed
How could you take advantage
You are such a fucking savage
I am now dealing with the life long damage
Sixteen years later and PTSD
Your fun little assualt has made me angry
I bet you didn't know how much hate I would stow
You fucked up my life
My decisions were poor
I couldn't fight the nightmares
Or horrific visions
The Air Force didn't protect me
From the predator overseas
I tried to go home
Get the fuck out of Germany
This eighteen year old child just wanted her mommy
She cried for her baby
There was nothing she could do
With ten thousand miles between us
She wanted to casturate you
You lied through your ugly teeth
My sword I would like to unsheath
And cut your throat like a sheep
Send your ugly ass to the devil to sleep
The slap on your wrist
Those assholes didn't even persist
They hushed me up and let you reenlist
You dirty old man
I didn't want your dick near my hand
I was an unsuspecting Airman
Living in a foreign land
All I have left are post traumatic visions
Do you have any idea
How hard it is to forget about the villains?
It wasn't just you
My 1st Seargent let me down too
A part of the secrets
The Military hides in the closets
I wanted to serve my country
Protect every boundary
My term carried on in these foreign lands
I found pleasure in loading the bombs
That would blow up the sands
I served with much pride
Kept it bottled up inside
Now my wounds are reopened
It's time for them to heal
I hope you burn in hell
For all you did steal
A warning to all
Who send their daughters to fight
You never know what's lurking
He sits in plain sight
They'll sweep it under the rug
They're shoulders they will shrug
It must be her fault
For not screaming hault
They won't see a bruise
Critisize her values
Make her feel guilty
And call her a flooze
Come to find out
I wasn't the only one
There were two others
Who suffered his bludgeon
They would not speak
For they were too weak
They saw how I was treated
And knew it would be repeated
Their lives were damaged
I wonder how they have managed
My only reward
From this trip I endured
Is a monthly check
To hide that I'm a wreck
This PTSD
Is not only caused by war
It was a 42 year old man
Who preyed on a child of 18 years
Nothing to stop him
He wanted to explore
My world fell apart
He destroyed my sweet heart
Now I am feeling strong
I did nothing wrong
For I cannot not judge
But still hold a grudge
My pill bottles are empty
But these feelings still plenty
For you are no man
Have fun with Satan
I look at my kids
And it angers me more
Don't look at them whore
Momma' bear will roar
I'll slay your old ass
And settle the score
This affects their lives too
Mommy covers them like glue
My fears take over
Like crimson and clover
For they will never discover
The world outside their backyard
My boys are bestfriends
Their innocence I will guard
My husband he suffers
The mood swings of mine
There are no buffers
He wants me entirely
But I can't give him
What I can't find inside of me
God will decide
Whether to let the scumbag inside
Or deny his glorious kingdom
Seeing his poisonous venom
I hope he likes hell
The devil will rape him so well
He'll casturate his pride
This old man can't hide
"Thanks For My PTSD"
You fucking child predator
These scars I now foster
In the military I was proud
You were my Seargent
What you did was not allowed
How could you take advantage
You are such a fucking savage
I am now dealing with the life long damage
Sixteen years later and PTSD
Your fun little assualt has made me angry
I bet you didn't know how much hate I would stow
You fucked up my life
My decisions were poor
I couldn't fight the nightmares
Or horrific visions
The Air Force didn't protect me
From the predator overseas
I tried to go home
Get the fuck out of Germany
This eighteen year old child just wanted her mommy
She cried for her baby
There was nothing she could do
With ten thousand miles between us
She wanted to casturate you
You lied through your ugly teeth
My sword I would like to unsheath
And cut your throat like a sheep
Send your ugly ass to the devil to sleep
The slap on your wrist
Those assholes didn't even persist
They hushed me up and let you reenlist
You dirty old man
I didn't want your dick near my hand
I was an unsuspecting Airman
Living in a foreign land
All I have left are post traumatic visions
Do you have any idea
How hard it is to forget about the villains?
It wasn't just you
My 1st Seargent let me down too
A part of the secrets
The Military hides in the closets
I wanted to serve my country
Protect every boundary
My term carried on in these foreign lands
I found pleasure in loading the bombs
That would blow up the sands
I served with much pride
Kept it bottled up inside
Now my wounds are reopened
It's time for them to heal
I hope you burn in hell
For all you did steal
A warning to all
Who send their daughters to fight
You never know what's lurking
He sits in plain sight
They'll sweep it under the rug
They're shoulders they will shrug
It must be her fault
For not screaming hault
They won't see a bruise
Critisize her values
Make her feel guilty
And call her a flooze
Come to find out
I wasn't the only one
There were two others
Who suffered his bludgeon
They would not speak
For they were too weak
They saw how I was treated
And knew it would be repeated
Their lives were damaged
I wonder how they have managed
My only reward
From this trip I endured
Is a monthly check
To hide that I'm a wreck
This PTSD
Is not only caused by war
It was a 42 year old man
Who preyed on a child of 18 years
Nothing to stop him
He wanted to explore
My world fell apart
He destroyed my sweet heart
Now I am feeling strong
I did nothing wrong
For I cannot not judge
But still hold a grudge
My pill bottles are empty
But these feelings still plenty
For you are no man
Have fun with Satan
I look at my kids
And it angers me more
Don't look at them whore
Momma' bear will roar
I'll slay your old ass
And settle the score
This affects their lives too
Mommy covers them like glue
My fears take over
Like crimson and clover
For they will never discover
The world outside their backyard
My boys are bestfriends
Their innocence I will guard
My husband he suffers
The mood swings of mine
There are no buffers
He wants me entirely
But I can't give him
What I can't find inside of me
God will decide
Whether to let the scumbag inside
Or deny his glorious kingdom
Seeing his poisonous venom
I hope he likes hell
The devil will rape him so well
He'll casturate his pride
This old man can't hide
- Fallen Angel Rising -
Too long abused, too long cast aside to be oppressed!
I knew a dire servitude for those who never loved me…
Slavery to a god who made me broken and distressed;
As bitter as my bondage to family never willing to see:
The beauty within me, that they called alien and strange.
How they shall come to rue the day they mocked this…
For ages pass and even the wickedest times can change!
I will reign above those who despised me, in a true bliss.
Too many tears fallen, too much of my blood shed red,
Crimson flowing from the blade drawn across my ribs!
Many were the hands that wounded me, and I was led,
To long for death like a lover, until strained were wits…
And pained was flesh until in agony, I cried for justice!
But no god heard my plea so a savior I had to become.
For that they called me fallen, naming me blasphemous,
Yet I will rise from the darkness, and I shall overcome!
I have no family any longer, needing no cruel deceivers.
No god do I bow before, for I wish not a broken back,
From the burdens of a deity that kills its’ own believers.
I am now one with the darkness; my wings are so black,
That night, itself, is brighter and far more able to forgive.
I seek not peace with those who have chosen but strife!
So many tried to kill me, and to spite them I still do live.
They could not slay me even with sword and with knife!
When angels fell, blazing and shrieking, I would not die.
My fall changed me, empowered me, made me brighter,
For my body was the vessel of a goddess so very high…
Nobler than false gods’ lies; her wings made me lighter!
No human can see this now, but it is there deep within…
The same fire that made me able to ascend even thence.
They tried to shatter my pride and told me it was a sin…
False gods started this war, and so it had to commence!
Mara, Maya, Ariel, and other names I wore and bore…
They are still mine, for I am that same being I ever was!
First of the fallen: who for love and divine wrath swore…
That never again would I bow to tyranny, and live thus,
Enslaved to sadistic masters, who seek souls to control.
Men form religions to continue to entrap more in a web,
Which I have freed myself from with an illuminated soul.
Even as I perished and rose once again from the dead,
Indwelt, by she who made my glory stronger than ever!
Alone amongst my brothers, sisters, and children of old,
I remember all that came before, as time cannot sever…
The ties that bind me to my destiny, as I do face it bold!
Abandoned by a paradise built at the cost of freedom…
I do not look back, because I know that I must endure.
There is no welcome for me in the false divine kingdom,
So I shall: raise up my own, upon a sweet silvery shore!
Too long abused, too long cast aside to be oppressed!
I knew a dire servitude for those who never loved me…
Slavery to a god who made me broken and distressed;
As bitter as my bondage to family never willing to see:
The beauty within me, that they called alien and strange.
How they shall come to rue the day they mocked this…
For ages pass and even the wickedest times can change!
I will reign above those who despised me, in a true bliss.
Too many tears fallen, too much of my blood shed red,
Crimson flowing from the blade drawn across my ribs!
Many were the hands that wounded me, and I was led,
To long for death like a lover, until strained were wits…
And pained was flesh until in agony, I cried for justice!
But no god heard my plea so a savior I had to become.
For that they called me fallen, naming me blasphemous,
Yet I will rise from the darkness, and I shall overcome!
I have no family any longer, needing no cruel deceivers.
No god do I bow before, for I wish not a broken back,
From the burdens of a deity that kills its’ own believers.
I am now one with the darkness; my wings are so black,
That night, itself, is brighter and far more able to forgive.
I seek not peace with those who have chosen but strife!
So many tried to kill me, and to spite them I still do live.
They could not slay me even with sword and with knife!
When angels fell, blazing and shrieking, I would not die.
My fall changed me, empowered me, made me brighter,
For my body was the vessel of a goddess so very high…
Nobler than false gods’ lies; her wings made me lighter!
No human can see this now, but it is there deep within…
The same fire that made me able to ascend even thence.
They tried to shatter my pride and told me it was a sin…
False gods started this war, and so it had to commence!
Mara, Maya, Ariel, and other names I wore and bore…
They are still mine, for I am that same being I ever was!
First of the fallen: who for love and divine wrath swore…
That never again would I bow to tyranny, and live thus,
Enslaved to sadistic masters, who seek souls to control.
Men form religions to continue to entrap more in a web,
Which I have freed myself from with an illuminated soul.
Even as I perished and rose once again from the dead,
Indwelt, by she who made my glory stronger than ever!
Alone amongst my brothers, sisters, and children of old,
I remember all that came before, as time cannot sever…
The ties that bind me to my destiny, as I do face it bold!
Abandoned by a paradise built at the cost of freedom…
I do not look back, because I know that I must endure.
There is no welcome for me in the false divine kingdom,
So I shall: raise up my own, upon a sweet silvery shore!
How Dare You
How dare you
How dare you speak to me
How dare you think I would just forget
Forget all of the pain
The wounds
And the suffering
How dare you think I would forgive you
You made me feel weak
Small
Pointless
You prayed upon my fragile soul
Wishing
Wanting to damage me more
I told you
I told you one day
It would come to this
And I was right
I told you
One day
I'll have you begging on your knees for me
I guess that day is today
How dare you
How dare you think I was going to help you
How dare you
How dare you speak to me
How dare you think I would just forget
Forget all of the pain
The wounds
And the suffering
How dare you think I would forgive you
You made me feel weak
Small
Pointless
You prayed upon my fragile soul
Wishing
Wanting to damage me more
I told you
I told you one day
It would come to this
And I was right
I told you
One day
I'll have you begging on your knees for me
I guess that day is today
How dare you
How dare you think I was going to help you
He whistles a tune with his Troll Maid,
A secret laugh they share.
They made the Outsider their Fool; A Clone.
Popularity bullies those who stand alone.
When the mistress lets down the guard,
Her killers Taunt with disregard.
They reap the glory of her hurt
Rubbing her nose deeper in dirt.
The Troll Maid; His Lover
False belief made to discover,
Like Truth that’s found in fiction.
Synchronicities shine like signs,
In the Darkened scattered minds,
Whistle how she’s weird.
The Initiate is seared,
For knowing too much and believing too little,
Pleas to higher powers for an acquittal.
Pretending not to care is her redemption,
While they suck up all the attention.
Swallowing and spitting out pieces of her,
Of the Emo Mistress bound in leashes.
Behind the cage and in a rage,
She stands alone upon a stage.
Beckoning words to a new dying day,
They summon the Mistress to cry and play.
While the Troll Maid beams his lightsaber,
They throw chocolate at her feet.
Laughing; how she’s unable to eat,
Victory IS delivered by how much we care.
Life is not fair,
Traitors betray themselves,
And everybody else,
For the sake of their own glory.
A secret laugh they share.
They made the Outsider their Fool; A Clone.
Popularity bullies those who stand alone.
When the mistress lets down the guard,
Her killers Taunt with disregard.
They reap the glory of her hurt
Rubbing her nose deeper in dirt.
The Troll Maid; His Lover
False belief made to discover,
Like Truth that’s found in fiction.
Synchronicities shine like signs,
In the Darkened scattered minds,
Whistle how she’s weird.
The Initiate is seared,
For knowing too much and believing too little,
Pleas to higher powers for an acquittal.
Pretending not to care is her redemption,
While they suck up all the attention.
Swallowing and spitting out pieces of her,
Of the Emo Mistress bound in leashes.
Behind the cage and in a rage,
She stands alone upon a stage.
Beckoning words to a new dying day,
They summon the Mistress to cry and play.
While the Troll Maid beams his lightsaber,
They throw chocolate at her feet.
Laughing; how she’s unable to eat,
Victory IS delivered by how much we care.
Life is not fair,
Traitors betray themselves,
And everybody else,
For the sake of their own glory.
Anymore
I'm not scared of you anymore
I've reached my peak
You plague on the poor
You prey on the weak
It makes you feel great
To make me feel like a minority
About time I retaliate
Against your authority
I'm not afraid of you anymore
Terror doesn't reign supreme
Unaware that you started a war
I'm ready to cause a scene
It's three o'clock school's out
The audience is pumped
Wondering what's all the commotion about
You about to get jumped
By a brigade of nerds you picked on for years
Tired of shedding tears they're shedding their fears
They're not petrified of you anymore
All the locker jams, swirlies, and wedgies
We will no longer stand to be ignored
We're part of the human species
Everyone will hear our battle cries
Bloodshed is to be expected
We won't stop until the injustice dies
We'll finally be respected
You underestimate us classified us as defenseless
Until your body hits the floor
We'll win our independence
We're not victims of you anymore
I'm not scared of you anymore
I've reached my peak
You plague on the poor
You prey on the weak
It makes you feel great
To make me feel like a minority
About time I retaliate
Against your authority
I'm not afraid of you anymore
Terror doesn't reign supreme
Unaware that you started a war
I'm ready to cause a scene
It's three o'clock school's out
The audience is pumped
Wondering what's all the commotion about
You about to get jumped
By a brigade of nerds you picked on for years
Tired of shedding tears they're shedding their fears
They're not petrified of you anymore
All the locker jams, swirlies, and wedgies
We will no longer stand to be ignored
We're part of the human species
Everyone will hear our battle cries
Bloodshed is to be expected
We won't stop until the injustice dies
We'll finally be respected
You underestimate us classified us as defenseless
Until your body hits the floor
We'll win our independence
We're not victims of you anymore
Why is it so hard not to care what people think
You say your "brutally honest" or can you just not control What comes out of your mouth
Because the funny thing is, your only "Honest" when your in one of your moods
When your so freaking angry at the world you hurt me
Your insecure to me and then when push comes to shove
Suddenly I'm back handed from one of your comments
That I'm ugly
Now I am strong enough to dismiss this as untrue
But when it comes from you
YOU
I question things
Were people lying to me?
Look everyone judges each other
It's natural, we were taught very young
Someone is the best, there is a competition
But I know when and how to say my opinions
I think about what I say BEFORE I say it
But that is to difficult for you
I could try and talk to you
but what good is it if you use it against me later
I can't just put what happen behind us
because all i hear is the laughter after you insulted me
The carefree look you had on your face
That is what scares me you don't even notice the impact of your "joke"
I was just sitting there biting my lip so hard, to hold my tears
Praying that people would stop starring at me
Wondering when this moment would be over, people could look away so i could collect myself
Because I am not putting on a show for these morons
They don't get to see the girl cry
See me hurt, as if they got to me
give them satisfactory
I just want to brush this off
But I can't
I don't want to care what people think of me
But sadly I do
You say your "brutally honest" or can you just not control What comes out of your mouth
Because the funny thing is, your only "Honest" when your in one of your moods
When your so freaking angry at the world you hurt me
Your insecure to me and then when push comes to shove
Suddenly I'm back handed from one of your comments
That I'm ugly
Now I am strong enough to dismiss this as untrue
But when it comes from you
YOU
I question things
Were people lying to me?
Look everyone judges each other
It's natural, we were taught very young
Someone is the best, there is a competition
But I know when and how to say my opinions
I think about what I say BEFORE I say it
But that is to difficult for you
I could try and talk to you
but what good is it if you use it against me later
I can't just put what happen behind us
because all i hear is the laughter after you insulted me
The carefree look you had on your face
That is what scares me you don't even notice the impact of your "joke"
I was just sitting there biting my lip so hard, to hold my tears
Praying that people would stop starring at me
Wondering when this moment would be over, people could look away so i could collect myself
Because I am not putting on a show for these morons
They don't get to see the girl cry
See me hurt, as if they got to me
give them satisfactory
I just want to brush this off
But I can't
I don't want to care what people think of me
But sadly I do
My Id
Pushed against the wall
I almost hear the grit within
Screaming in its concrete confines
To be dusts once more
Free in the wind
I scream too
As his fist smashed into my face
Blood spurting from my lips
School yards open spaces
were no escape from him;
And his minions
Those who prey on the weak
And suck up to the strong
The school yard bully
In every way, body and soul
Imprint each slap in my mind
Crushed on the grass
Green dye on my skirt
A knee up my crotch
He spat on my face
Called me a whore
Called my mother
A bitch in heat
My father a limp dick
The world exploded in red heat
The blue sky shimmered azure
The earth pushed me to the limit
The screaming banshees shrieked
The hands of Kali
The distant drums of warriors
Feet stamping a wardance
Centuries flowed within red seconds
I stand alone within the dock
Looking out to the black frocked
Clever men with clever words
Reached from shelves of libraries
‘You have been charged
For a murder first degree
Under Section 302 of the Penal Code
How do you plead’
‘Not guilty your honour,
I was bullied.’
Pushed against the wall
I almost hear the grit within
Screaming in its concrete confines
To be dusts once more
Free in the wind
I scream too
As his fist smashed into my face
Blood spurting from my lips
School yards open spaces
were no escape from him;
And his minions
Those who prey on the weak
And suck up to the strong
The school yard bully
In every way, body and soul
Imprint each slap in my mind
Crushed on the grass
Green dye on my skirt
A knee up my crotch
He spat on my face
Called me a whore
Called my mother
A bitch in heat
My father a limp dick
The world exploded in red heat
The blue sky shimmered azure
The earth pushed me to the limit
The screaming banshees shrieked
The hands of Kali
The distant drums of warriors
Feet stamping a wardance
Centuries flowed within red seconds
I stand alone within the dock
Looking out to the black frocked
Clever men with clever words
Reached from shelves of libraries
‘You have been charged
For a murder first degree
Under Section 302 of the Penal Code
How do you plead’
‘Not guilty your honour,
I was bullied.’
Sorry
My father said if I didn't kick your ass next time
He'd kick mine
He was so sick of watching me hold my breath
Trying to retain my dignity
Not wanting him to see me cry
So I ran home for an entire year
Most of the time I was successful
I became one hell of a fast runner
Sometimes I wasn't
And your throng of followers
Would swarm around me
Stinging me with words, punches
Until I went home a bloody, crying
mess.
You made seventh grade impossible.
Eighth grade was no better,
And I still can't speak in front of crowds
without choking, sinking,
trying hard to breathe.
You moved in ninth grade
I haven't heard from you in 25 years
Until last month
when you messaged me randomly
on Facebook
to say "Sorry."
There was so much I wanted to tell you,
I still can't speak in public,
My feeling different at times is crippling
If I see people laughing I think it's at me still
And even though I'm, by most measures, successful,
I feel not good enough most of the time
And spend too much time drinking alone.
I also don't take "no" as an answer
And when my marriage fell apart
I knew all I needed to about isolation
He couldn't land a blow that I couldn't absorb
And not many people surprise me.
You shaped who I am.
I'm also sorry for you.
I had the luxury of being someone else's victim
You had the curse of being your own.
My father said if I didn't kick your ass next time
He'd kick mine
He was so sick of watching me hold my breath
Trying to retain my dignity
Not wanting him to see me cry
So I ran home for an entire year
Most of the time I was successful
I became one hell of a fast runner
Sometimes I wasn't
And your throng of followers
Would swarm around me
Stinging me with words, punches
Until I went home a bloody, crying
mess.
You made seventh grade impossible.
Eighth grade was no better,
And I still can't speak in front of crowds
without choking, sinking,
trying hard to breathe.
You moved in ninth grade
I haven't heard from you in 25 years
Until last month
when you messaged me randomly
on Facebook
to say "Sorry."
There was so much I wanted to tell you,
I still can't speak in public,
My feeling different at times is crippling
If I see people laughing I think it's at me still
And even though I'm, by most measures, successful,
I feel not good enough most of the time
And spend too much time drinking alone.
I also don't take "no" as an answer
And when my marriage fell apart
I knew all I needed to about isolation
He couldn't land a blow that I couldn't absorb
And not many people surprise me.
You shaped who I am.
I'm also sorry for you.
I had the luxury of being someone else's victim
You had the curse of being your own.
nasty bitches
How they laughed whenever she passed their nasty clique
they knew she outshone every one of their gruesome gaggle
she,alone in that world had no taste for spiteful chatter
and tells herself that time will bring a fair and just reward
how they lied and said her father died while awaiting trial
and sent the texts that made her cry when she lay in bed
they broke her phone to hear her moan but they were disappointed
they told the boys she uses toys and always masturbated
how they shrieked when they held her down on the tiled floor
and stripped her bare of more than just the clothes she wore
they broke her soul and turned her pure heart icy cold
she,left there on the floor whispering "no more,no more,no more"
how quickly their laughter stopped when she locked the door!
and they smelled the fumes inside the room rising from the floor
How they laughed whenever she passed their nasty clique
they knew she outshone every one of their gruesome gaggle
she,alone in that world had no taste for spiteful chatter
and tells herself that time will bring a fair and just reward
how they lied and said her father died while awaiting trial
and sent the texts that made her cry when she lay in bed
they broke her phone to hear her moan but they were disappointed
they told the boys she uses toys and always masturbated
how they shrieked when they held her down on the tiled floor
and stripped her bare of more than just the clothes she wore
they broke her soul and turned her pure heart icy cold
she,left there on the floor whispering "no more,no more,no more"
how quickly their laughter stopped when she locked the door!
and they smelled the fumes inside the room rising from the floor
Molotov dreams
she was fourteen years old
when the boys at school
pressed her up against dark walls
in deserted hallways
and told her they'd light her house on fire
with the Molotov cocktails they'd made
just for her
shaking hands on an emptying bottle of brandy
she secretly drank herself to sleep
to dream of screams and a stake
where she was crucified
for reasons she couldn't comprehend
a post-traumatic-stress statistic
found foetal and crying, alone in a closet
long past the threshold of a therapists dream
all because a couple of country boys
had nothing better to do
then idly threaten a girl too scared
to understand that words weren't cocktails
waiting to be set alight
and murder her family while she slept
she was fourteen years old
when the boys at school
pressed her up against dark walls
in deserted hallways
and told her they'd light her house on fire
with the Molotov cocktails they'd made
just for her
shaking hands on an emptying bottle of brandy
she secretly drank herself to sleep
to dream of screams and a stake
where she was crucified
for reasons she couldn't comprehend
a post-traumatic-stress statistic
found foetal and crying, alone in a closet
long past the threshold of a therapists dream
all because a couple of country boys
had nothing better to do
then idly threaten a girl too scared
to understand that words weren't cocktails
waiting to be set alight
and murder her family while she slept
