Poetry competition CLOSED 17th March 2023 5:20pm
WINNER
PoetSpeak
PoetSpeak
RUNNERS-UP:
MadameLavender
and PAR
Page:
Peeves
Poetry Contest Description
The BS hours. What annoys you in ten lines or more.
The following is not for competition.
Don't sucré me if tomorrow comes,
with a dark grammarian in shadows
editing my macabre.
Do re mi fa so, it doesn't pull my strings,
punk'd by Poe and little jackdaws.
So fuck you! and "Ring Around the Rosie."
I ain't a doctor, I'm a demented poet.
If I offend, it's because one is disillusioned
and a fool for rot. I ride my own plains of Abraham
and not a satanic jar of Milk Duds. Get a box of
Tide and wash the stans, off your pathetic lies.
Get your transgender Tickle Me Elmo, and chase
the squirrels, in your upside-down little fantasy
world. But don't poo in your nappie and do the
crappie on my dime.
Don't sucré me if tomorrow comes,
with a dark grammarian in shadows
editing my macabre.
Huge peeve
So frigging annoying
These people in the métro
(Ok, not all of them, just these idiot bozos)
Talking to themselves
(Oh, wait, no, not the mentally ill
That's to be expected
For they never had it easy, from the very start)
No, it's that guy over there
With ear plugs somehow connected
To some gizmo and talking so loudly
You hear him from the other end of the train
I really do not need to hear
About your messed up love life
About how much you hate him - her - them
Once sooooooooo nice and now as
Warm and welcoming as a steel prison door
About how much you hate your boss
That most despicable asshole.
Those gizmos are a terrible kind
Of air pollution, I find.
These people in the métro
(Ok, not all of them, just these idiot bozos)
Talking to themselves
(Oh, wait, no, not the mentally ill
That's to be expected
For they never had it easy, from the very start)
No, it's that guy over there
With ear plugs somehow connected
To some gizmo and talking so loudly
You hear him from the other end of the train
I really do not need to hear
About your messed up love life
About how much you hate him - her - them
Once sooooooooo nice and now as
Warm and welcoming as a steel prison door
About how much you hate your boss
That most despicable asshole.
Those gizmos are a terrible kind
Of air pollution, I find.
Written by robert43041
(Viking)
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People are Not What they Used to Be ( Humor Sorta )
People have always sucked
But now worse than ever
Simple manners vanished
Why ?
Too busy texting walking down the street
I could have told you to look out for that dog shit
You wouldn't have heard me
Too busy
Now busier scraping shit off your shoes
Hope you have a lot of grooves on the sole
That will keep you busy for awhile
Off your frigging phone
Some people say I have a bad attitude
I say nothing that a cheap bottle of vodka and a blow job won't cure
I also say go fuck yourself
I can say that in multiple languages
My favorite is a grit language
Its called New York-ese
Hey Asswipe
Yeah I'm talkin' to you
You see any other Asswipes here ?
You got shit on your shoe
It's not from my dog
She's a lady, curb trained
Unlike you
Clean it up and throw it in the trash can
Have a wonderful day
But now worse than ever
Simple manners vanished
Why ?
Too busy texting walking down the street
I could have told you to look out for that dog shit
You wouldn't have heard me
Too busy
Now busier scraping shit off your shoes
Hope you have a lot of grooves on the sole
That will keep you busy for awhile
Off your frigging phone
Some people say I have a bad attitude
I say nothing that a cheap bottle of vodka and a blow job won't cure
I also say go fuck yourself
I can say that in multiple languages
My favorite is a grit language
Its called New York-ese
Hey Asswipe
Yeah I'm talkin' to you
You see any other Asswipes here ?
You got shit on your shoe
It's not from my dog
She's a lady, curb trained
Unlike you
Clean it up and throw it in the trash can
Have a wonderful day
Written by PoetSpeak
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To Satisfy an Itch
or
Pet Peeve
"That dog's a menace to the community.
I'm taking her to the sheriff to make sure she's destroyed."
-- Miss Almira Gulch,
a citizen taxed,
speaking of a pet owner
*
As sheriff of the county Chasing Rainbows you decide
if Miss Almira Gulch still all but lame on being bit
de facto is a wicked witch in loathing to abide
one mangy little pigtailed retard dressed in gingham shit
who daily in Miss Gulch's poppy garden off a rope
uncouthly buries monkey bones or hikes a leg to whizz
or craps a yellow brick of tapeworms of one widescreen scope
or bursts out into showtunes as she farts to do her biz
till with the stealer of each scene straight skipping off to screw --
the ill-bred bitch a house of littered Totos drops on you.
*
a dedication of Respect
for
the Pain of each unnecessary pet --
no owner being potty trained
a revolving helios rhyme menippean satire on
the wicked old ideology irresponsible of breeding
conscious,
feeling
"fur babies"
for playthings
march, 2023 -- yet each year on this side of the rainbow
the Reality in the united states alone (including kansas) of approximately
5.4 million witchy cats --
aside from 1.2 million Totos too --
ding-dong dead in the ditch
Pet Peeve
"That dog's a menace to the community.
I'm taking her to the sheriff to make sure she's destroyed."
-- Miss Almira Gulch,
a citizen taxed,
speaking of a pet owner
*
As sheriff of the county Chasing Rainbows you decide
if Miss Almira Gulch still all but lame on being bit
de facto is a wicked witch in loathing to abide
one mangy little pigtailed retard dressed in gingham shit
who daily in Miss Gulch's poppy garden off a rope
uncouthly buries monkey bones or hikes a leg to whizz
or craps a yellow brick of tapeworms of one widescreen scope
or bursts out into showtunes as she farts to do her biz
till with the stealer of each scene straight skipping off to screw --
the ill-bred bitch a house of littered Totos drops on you.
*
a dedication of Respect
for
the Pain of each unnecessary pet --
no owner being potty trained
a revolving helios rhyme menippean satire on
the wicked old ideology irresponsible of breeding
conscious,
feeling
"fur babies"
for playthings
march, 2023 -- yet each year on this side of the rainbow
the Reality in the united states alone (including kansas) of approximately
5.4 million witchy cats --
aside from 1.2 million Totos too --
ding-dong dead in the ditch
Written by Jordan
(D.O.C.)
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Things I've Heard In Hospitals
A compilation of various things , ungrateful patients have said to me , over the years, while drawing their blood, and the replies I had ready, but could not say because it was bad P.R. for the hospital....
1. Ten Year Old Boy, Screaming: "Get away from me! You're all a bunch of fuckin' beavers!"
(Listen, you little white trash shit stain-- your parents ought to be ashamed of the language you learned from them.)
2. Obese Man in the ER : "When's dinner? When do they bring us food?"
(And you wonder why you're having a heart attack, right now...and by the way, we aren't a hotel with room service.)
3. Ashen Elderly Man, in ICU: "............."
(Oh shit-- awful nice of the nurse to tell me you were dead, before I stuck the needle in your arm)
4. Stoned ,Double Leg Amputee: "Hey, you wanna open that drawer there and see if there's any Mary Jane in it for me?"
(So how'd you lose your legs--too high to realize you passed out on some train tracks??)
5. Frequent Blood Draw Lady Who's An Expert On Everything: " Now you have to use a baby needle because the last girl that drew me, gave me a huge bruise, and oh-- the tubes you need to draw are a lavender , a gold, a....."
(How 'bout I stick my pen, in your jugular, and we see how that works for you, since you know so much more than me--been doing this for 36 years, ya know.)
6. Whiny, Pissed Off Woman in the ER: "You're not drawing my blood, I refuse to get an X-ray, no, I will not have an IV" (etc., etc.)
(Okay, so if you're going to refuse all care, then why did you come here? We can't wave a magic wand and heal you, so if you're going to complain about everything , then go home, suck it up, and we can use this room for someone who actually does want us to help them)
And the list could go on, but you get the picture, Dear Reader...
1. Ten Year Old Boy, Screaming: "Get away from me! You're all a bunch of fuckin' beavers!"
(Listen, you little white trash shit stain-- your parents ought to be ashamed of the language you learned from them.)
2. Obese Man in the ER : "When's dinner? When do they bring us food?"
(And you wonder why you're having a heart attack, right now...and by the way, we aren't a hotel with room service.)
3. Ashen Elderly Man, in ICU: "............."
(Oh shit-- awful nice of the nurse to tell me you were dead, before I stuck the needle in your arm)
4. Stoned ,Double Leg Amputee: "Hey, you wanna open that drawer there and see if there's any Mary Jane in it for me?"
(So how'd you lose your legs--too high to realize you passed out on some train tracks??)
5. Frequent Blood Draw Lady Who's An Expert On Everything: " Now you have to use a baby needle because the last girl that drew me, gave me a huge bruise, and oh-- the tubes you need to draw are a lavender , a gold, a....."
(How 'bout I stick my pen, in your jugular, and we see how that works for you, since you know so much more than me--been doing this for 36 years, ya know.)
6. Whiny, Pissed Off Woman in the ER: "You're not drawing my blood, I refuse to get an X-ray, no, I will not have an IV" (etc., etc.)
(Okay, so if you're going to refuse all care, then why did you come here? We can't wave a magic wand and heal you, so if you're going to complain about everything , then go home, suck it up, and we can use this room for someone who actually does want us to help them)
And the list could go on, but you get the picture, Dear Reader...
Written by MadameLavender
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Pet Peeves
God save me from the builders
those cheery, cheeky bum's
expressive thumbs & fingers,
and their outlandish $ums
God save me from the rhetoric
on the metro each day,
and tinny god-awful musak
some moron needs must play.
And the uniformed workers
those if think think rank,
in jobsworth's hats and the clerkers
who view all as crank!
But God, especially,
save for me some wealth,
then I'll drink right merrily
to their collective health.
those cheery, cheeky bum's
expressive thumbs & fingers,
and their outlandish $ums
God save me from the rhetoric
on the metro each day,
and tinny god-awful musak
some moron needs must play.
And the uniformed workers
those if think think rank,
in jobsworth's hats and the clerkers
who view all as crank!
But God, especially,
save for me some wealth,
then I'll drink right merrily
to their collective health.
Written by Rew
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The Complete History of Poetry
Welcome to the reductive. Please relax, put your feet up, and refrain from free thought while management brings you the full and complete:
History of Poetry
Beowulf
I have a big dick
and I killed some
monsters
The Odyssey
I’m on a boat,
I have a big dick
and I killed
some monsters
Epic of Gilgamesh
I have a big boat
and a big dick,
and I want to live
forever so I killed
some monsters
Collected works of William Shakespeare
We could die
Or fuck
Or both
Yes, both.
Don Juan, by Lord Byron
Everyone
fucks
me!
Yay!
No, wait, boo?
Annabelle Lee, by Edgar Allen Poe
We fucked and
you died.
Damn.
Howl, by Alan Ginsburg
The world has so
fucked me that
I’m going to
scream until I die
Paradise Lost, by John Milton
Well, I got kicked out
of heaven so
the world is fucked.
But hey,
at least we die
Inferno, Dante
The afterlife
is fucked too
So. Yeah.
TikTok
I’ll dance, dance dance
With my hands, hands hands
Above my head, head, head
.
.
.
.
Lesson concluded.
.
.
.
.
Please continue to
refrain
from
thought
while you
exit to the
scrolling feed
.
.
.
No need to look
behind the curtains,
lovelies.
.
.
No need.
History of Poetry
Beowulf
I have a big dick
and I killed some
monsters
The Odyssey
I’m on a boat,
I have a big dick
and I killed
some monsters
Epic of Gilgamesh
I have a big boat
and a big dick,
and I want to live
forever so I killed
some monsters
Collected works of William Shakespeare
We could die
Or fuck
Or both
Yes, both.
Don Juan, by Lord Byron
Everyone
fucks
me!
Yay!
No, wait, boo?
Annabelle Lee, by Edgar Allen Poe
We fucked and
you died.
Damn.
Howl, by Alan Ginsburg
The world has so
fucked me that
I’m going to
scream until I die
Paradise Lost, by John Milton
Well, I got kicked out
of heaven so
the world is fucked.
But hey,
at least we die
Inferno, Dante
The afterlife
is fucked too
So. Yeah.
TikTok
I’ll dance, dance dance
With my hands, hands hands
Above my head, head, head
.
.
.
.
Lesson concluded.
.
.
.
.
Please continue to
refrain
from
thought
while you
exit to the
scrolling feed
.
.
.
No need to look
behind the curtains,
lovelies.
.
.
No need.
Written by Betty
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Dear Scammers
(A Commentary Piece By Walter’s Alter Ego)
OK, I’ll take it down a notch on this one Wally
Dear Scammers,
You fucking irritating twat wads
The world is annoyed with all you low life frauds
You call us everyday on the phone trying a new scam
With your supposed savings plans and programs
And for the times you were successful and got a victim
I hope someone shoves a prickly cactus up your rectum
How do you sleep at night you fucking soulless cunts?
I wish I could pack a gun and then go on many manhunts
How the fuck do you trick litte old ladies on the phone?
Rob them of their savings and other things they own
But since you have no shame you surely have no class
How about I come over there and just stomp your ass
You motherless fucks have no conscience or morals
I’d love to meet you so we can work out all our quarrels
I’ll bust a cap on kneecaps and smacks harder than Will slaps
‘Cause this pacifist will use his fist to shut your fucking traps
And when you’re on the floor bleeding and pleading
I reckon you’ll be a needing an additional beating
You almost tricked my mom into going to the bank
Guess what fucker, now you know who to thank
I’ll treat you to a delicious knuckle sandwich for lunch
And to wash it all down, I’ll serve a cold Hawaiian punch
Don’t like them, no worries, my fat ass is not on a diet
But I’m gonna revel in the pounding it’s going to be a riot
So now when you call me with another tactic or trick
I tell to you to go fuck your mom and suck your daddy’s dick
Know that I mean it with all the rudeness and disrespect
But when you’re a low life scammer what else do you expect?
So, go fuck yourself and your buddies there at the call center
Fuck your fake job your fake name your fake windows defender
Hope the cops catch you before I give a beating that’s legendary
But for now, I just wish this dis gives you disastrous dysentery
Bitch-ass bitch
Wally, back to you
OK, I’ll take it down a notch on this one Wally
Dear Scammers,
You fucking irritating twat wads
The world is annoyed with all you low life frauds
You call us everyday on the phone trying a new scam
With your supposed savings plans and programs
And for the times you were successful and got a victim
I hope someone shoves a prickly cactus up your rectum
How do you sleep at night you fucking soulless cunts?
I wish I could pack a gun and then go on many manhunts
How the fuck do you trick litte old ladies on the phone?
Rob them of their savings and other things they own
But since you have no shame you surely have no class
How about I come over there and just stomp your ass
You motherless fucks have no conscience or morals
I’d love to meet you so we can work out all our quarrels
I’ll bust a cap on kneecaps and smacks harder than Will slaps
‘Cause this pacifist will use his fist to shut your fucking traps
And when you’re on the floor bleeding and pleading
I reckon you’ll be a needing an additional beating
You almost tricked my mom into going to the bank
Guess what fucker, now you know who to thank
I’ll treat you to a delicious knuckle sandwich for lunch
And to wash it all down, I’ll serve a cold Hawaiian punch
Don’t like them, no worries, my fat ass is not on a diet
But I’m gonna revel in the pounding it’s going to be a riot
So now when you call me with another tactic or trick
I tell to you to go fuck your mom and suck your daddy’s dick
Know that I mean it with all the rudeness and disrespect
But when you’re a low life scammer what else do you expect?
So, go fuck yourself and your buddies there at the call center
Fuck your fake job your fake name your fake windows defender
Hope the cops catch you before I give a beating that’s legendary
But for now, I just wish this dis gives you disastrous dysentery
Bitch-ass bitch
Wally, back to you
Written by wallyroo92
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Character Defects
Inconsideration of others
without any causation
intolerant glance
feeding frustration
In arrogance
refusing to see
far too selfish
no respite from thee
Self-seeking
who will please
immense, your greed
living in disease
No patience for you
nor your defect
in your mirror
malice you reflect
without any causation
intolerant glance
feeding frustration
In arrogance
refusing to see
far too selfish
no respite from thee
Self-seeking
who will please
immense, your greed
living in disease
No patience for you
nor your defect
in your mirror
malice you reflect
Written by mel44
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Related submission no longer exists.
Influencers
The skin
impoverished
of the faces
of the females
and males
nowadays
covered in creams
and other things.
Their swollen mouths
remind me
the banks of rivers
reminds me of the mud
on the banks of rivers.
All in these skins
it tastes like milk
of the worms.
It tastes like wrinkles
in the skins of the worms.
Those skins
of blushy bulky cheeks
of these people
are like memories
of lost times.
They're there
and no one sees them...
Those skins
are subtitles
that nobody reads.
PAR
impoverished
of the faces
of the females
and males
nowadays
covered in creams
and other things.
Their swollen mouths
remind me
the banks of rivers
reminds me of the mud
on the banks of rivers.
All in these skins
it tastes like milk
of the worms.
It tastes like wrinkles
in the skins of the worms.
Those skins
of blushy bulky cheeks
of these people
are like memories
of lost times.
They're there
and no one sees them...
Those skins
are subtitles
that nobody reads.
PAR
Written by PAR
(PAULO ACACIO RAMOS)
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Ten Lines No Time
What annoys me in ten lines?
Well it's hard to say really
There's just so much to say
What annoys me is when people get in my way
While I am shopping
I do it for work you see?
Shop for people's groceries
And it just annoys me so much
When people keep stopping in front of me
So unmindful of what they are doing
Well it's hard to say really
There's just so much to say
What annoys me is when people get in my way
While I am shopping
I do it for work you see?
Shop for people's groceries
And it just annoys me so much
When people keep stopping in front of me
So unmindful of what they are doing
Written by KrystalG
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