Poetry competition CLOSED 7th November 2017 4:37pm
WINNER
Anonymous
sheild

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ventilation duct

gazellemon
Bradley J
Fire of Insight
United States 6awards
Joined 6th Mar 2014
Forum Posts: 372

Poetry Contest

see below

say_im_fine  inst by JJ Beats

gazellemon (Bradley J)
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   ^my example


Please submit a poem that you wrote to release tension in your life.  show me how you picked up a pen to relieve the pressure.

I WANT IT RAW

Rules:
 2 weeks
 1 submission per user
 Performances accepted
 Newish (nothing more than a couple of weeks old please)
 Open vote





God-Is-In-The-Rain
Gregory Rain
Twisted Dreamer
1awards
Joined 28th Oct 2016
Forum Posts: 50

Book Of Pain (Written by God is in the Rain)

 
 
sleeping awake through the night i'm  my Book of Pain...
silently screaming i write my lines of Sane Madness...
as i laugh from my leaking tears of Red Sadness...
as only thing keeping my corpse alive is the Death Rain...
so all the Mercilless Monsters can show me their Bitter Kindness...
so all my Sins of Self Sacrifice can slide into the Void of Vain...
 
inside of my Book of Pain...



Note: sorry, i don't have the very original version, but it was quite alike (i made changes through years & now asociate a different meaning to it than what was in my head when writing it)
it's bit cryptic so let me explain:
I used to have girlfriend, i called "Angel" in japanese & one day was talking with her about a friend of ine whom committed suicide & i was mad at him & claimed that all people who kill or cut themselves are stupid, selfish and only do it for attention.
and i learned that i was wrong - the hard way
she rolled up her sleeve and there were these little white lines.... and she said that not all people do that to get attention.... some do it & youll never know....
i've never seen her smile at me ever since that day - not because she would be mad at me.... she was just sad.... and because of that, no apologize could fix that.
so I took this blunt knife & drew three japanese sings into the back of my right hand, - a word that means "Angel" and is the way i used to call her.... and i drew it so deep it would stay there for as long as i would love her - forever....
Perhaps luckily, she never found out.... she broke up with me the next day....
anyway after that i kept redrawing those lines.... as it didn'T really matter anymore - whey were going to stay forever anyway....
Hence the "leaking tears of red sadness" - as the sings are big & made from 11 signs (so few veins were cut open) and "Lines of sane madness" - as it both made sence and was mad at the same time
I was on a private elementary school back then (sent there from this psychology thing, officially either for being too stupid or too smart, i wasn'T told, anyway in fact the lady there hated me & that was the reason) & as i refused to join the brats of ritch people in their "hobby" of bullying people i was bullied a lot.... and as it was private elementary no-one was going to do anything about it in any way, as the brats were customers (school had money from them & had no interest in doing anything that might get them even consider leaving)
so let's just say i didn't see much good in people.... not just the brats.... any people - hence the "mercilles monsters showing bitter kindness"
as i felt that people only care about themselves & are nice to you only when you do what they see beneficall for themselves....
i kept on doing what i felt was right however.... & always payed the price for it of course.... and it never changed anything... of course.... hence the "so all my sins of self sacrifice can slide into the void of vain"
it, at least the, at least to me, was a poem about how everything was useless.... nothing mattered....
and finally the "Book of Pain" i used as a metaphore for life
it was a good bye poem....
I was going to kill myself....
(Funny thing is that as i utterly hate poetry, i threw away the paper i wrote it on.... because... it was just something i wrote.... it meant nothing to me.....
Why is that funny? well.... i had everything planned.... i was not going to try and fail.... I was ready to see the Lady in Black, and i made sure i was going to succeed.
And there was the paper with the poem... just laying on the floor....
I picked it up & begun thinking about it....
thinking about poetry....
how stupid it was....
& i forgot what i was doing....
& the next day when i rememered again... i decided differently & disposed of... the stuff i had....
it's funny because the poetry used my deep & sincere hate for it... to save me....
which is why i kept it & use it differently now (and like explanations of the poem made by other people better))

gazellemon
Bradley J
Fire of Insight
United States 6awards
Joined 6th Mar 2014
Forum Posts: 372

excellent!

God-Is-In-The-Rain thank you for starting the comp out on the right foot!

God-Is-In-The-Rain
Gregory Rain
Twisted Dreamer
1awards
Joined 28th Oct 2016
Forum Posts: 50

just.... if you felt like my "note" in which i'm explaining it was too long or you felt it was inappropriate.... write me & ill erase it....

might as well do that anyway sooner or later.... as....

despite that i would for once have it explained in its original meaning (instead the "it'S about anything you see in it" one)
i'm not very sure i'm comfortable with it being out in the open.....

it's... let's say a bit personal....

but i guess that's the "ventilating" part

gazellemon
Bradley J
Fire of Insight
United States 6awards
Joined 6th Mar 2014
Forum Posts: 372

God-Is-In-The-Rain said:just.... if you felt like my "note" in which i'm explaining it was too long or you felt it was inappropriate.... write me & ill erase it....

might as well do that anyway sooner or later.... as....

despite that i would for once have it explained in its original meaning (instead the "it'S about anything you see in it" one)
i'm not very sure i'm comfortable with it being out in the open.....

it's... let's say a bit personal....

but i guess that's the "ventilating" part


the note in interesting, glad you added it. not a problem at all homie!

poet Anonymous

<< post removed >>
gazellemon
Bradley J
Fire of Insight
United States 6awards
Joined 6th Mar 2014
Forum Posts: 372

doooope...!

thank you for the submission :D

runaway-mindtrain
Dangerous Mind
United States 8awards
Joined 30th July 2017
Forum Posts: 909

God's holy trousers::::--

 
You are going to hell with gasoline drawers on
Shortest distance 'tween two lines is a point
Yesterday is the best part of history
You deeply inhale the philosophic joint...
 
Benevolent dictatorship without respite
Drinking a propaganda cocktail rite
Out of a book of shadow puppet politicians
Being baptized in boiling water slide positions...
 
Firing a bullet that just left going somewhere
Wearing a wig of parabolic projectile hair
While shuffling the cards now in my head
My ears can't believe what I just said...
 
(intermission)....
 
I don't think without speaking
Like a mind drain without leaking
Deposit monopoly money in the bank
Melt the lizard to render gas in the tank...
 
Stop the rainbow from bending
Outlaw the email from sending
Taking a walk on the marathon run
While shining a flash light on the sun...
 
Trick the bee to make sugar honey pies
As we watch the mushroom cloud rise
Don't drink the ancient mental poison
Mixed with the modern Kool-aid lie...
 
They build a soul rocket for soaring
And then go bury it in the dirt...
The truth of life is no real secret
But learning it always hurts...
Written by runaway-mindtrain
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okanna93
MJWells93
Lost Thinker
United States 1awards
Joined 16th Aug 2017
Forum Posts: 33

The Colors Beyond the Stars

There was a stench in the air
a fowl stench that is

it smelled of agony
betrayal
anger
hurt
sadness
and most of all, emptiness

In my opinion emptiness is the most common, yet worst aroma that surround everyday life on this planet.

To me the planet is not blue, green, and brown
It is black, white, and every shade of grey
I threw in white because that is where emptiness comes in
not grey because that's sadness
but black is all the putrid smells meshed into one

I call them smells and aromas because they come and go just like emotions
sometime lingering a bit longer when it's stronger

I prefer that over emotions

sometimes I am grey sometimes I am black,
but more so than not, I am white
That may seem like a funny turn of phrase to you
but to me it makes perfect sense

Just like there are aura colors that exist
so does it in the form of a state of mind that covers this planet like a sheet growing thicker and thicker until you can't see through it
just the colors that are in front of you

right now I am just white
I have been that way for a long time now
sometimes I shift between that and various shades of grey
that's just how it is

just black
white
and every shade of grey in between

 
Written by okanna93 (MJWells93)
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rowantree
Thought Provoker
United States 7awards
Joined 5th Aug 2015
Forum Posts: 217

A rap I recently put out seems to match this comp! Listen along for the full effect, and enjoy.
https://youtu.be/wSpOkqYa9f0

HTT

Writer's block been hoppin on my dome lately
Seems the ink is flowin back in summer with the daydreams
Seems I just get anxious when I contemplate creating these days
& the pressure to pick the perfect words, it jades me
I know I'm capable; I've spit the heat of Hades
I don't think I've lost my chops, I think I'm caught up, oscillating
at least that's what I'm praying, tryna choke my stomachache
Hopin my muse is playing hard to get and doesn't really hate me
She needs attention, likes me sweatin when we're not together
keeps me trippin, ruminating on the changes in the weather
Then rises this light that looks like it might shine forever
Warms my cheek and makes it all better

cuz this that eighth day sober mood, breaking that October blue
with blood to clean my veins and flush my face and fuel the skate to school.
Waiting like a patient fool for inspiration's boost is through -
that ain't what I came to do - I take the music, make it move
Throw on a bathing suit, my favorite green bikini
Bring my songbook, bare feet, & strut em down the street
The palm trees tippin in the breeze tossed a greeting in
& I penned this piece in that moment when I could breathe again.

I thank the sunshine up where the gods lurk
for coloring the world with her afternoon posture.
If it isn't beautiful, then why even bother?
These the hot tub thoughts as I drop into the water.

Easing in ain't ever been my mode of entry, I'm
more of a floater, like those flower petals fallin' swiftly:
Gentle when I bloom my cannonball and chop it off the stem,
stickin to the surface while I watch the sky with awe and envy
Steam off the skin, whatchu know bout that?
My sun kissed limbs resemble little smokestacks
and I'm chillin on the edge with my head thrown back, like
where else could this emotion go but over a dope track?
Don't ask, all good vibes is invited
Hella high degrees but when we on it, it's the coolside
Pressure from the jets melts the stress, this the poolside
mindset: blessed through noon, dusk and moonlight.
Wrapped in that towel now, I'm cozy going home
Imma shower, sip some coffee 'fore I warm the microphone.
Everything is better when you focus on the love
That's the truth that I brought home straight from the hot tub.

Jadedembers
Starving demons
Fire of Insight
United States 3awards
Joined 6th July 2017
Forum Posts: 75

Related submission no longer exists.

poet Anonymous

Related submission no longer exists.

https://deepundergroundpoetry.com/poems/289286-ground-zero/

Ground Zero

And sometimes  
we begin to love  
what is killing us  
 
and scars that remain  
burn a little harder  
from under the skin  
earthing our bodies  
to the real  
 
never the same  
as before  
 
they come to teach us  
the meaning of breathing  
because death  
has loved us for so long  
we have become blinded  
by the secrets  
 
and I know you’re thinking  
that I’m another one  
of these women  
hell-bent on telling you  
everything  
that has let me down  
and saved me  
simultaneously  
 
but this is nothing more  
than a message  
 
a message to you  
on the bathroom floor  
flirting  
with your imagination  
crossing that line  
setting fire to it  
fanning the flames  
and reading futures  
with the ash  
 
clutching on  
to the unimaginable  
longer than the dream  
because the guilt  
of letting it go  
was more to bare  
than the lesson  
 
I need to tell you  
what can be learned  
from the floor  
 
when your knees are silent  
pressed to the cold, hard steel  
of the horizontal  
when you cannot fall further  
than Hell is pushing you  
 
when the bottle is empty  
when the razors are blunt  
when you wipe strange powder  
from the edge of the bath  
and there is nothing  
but the emptiness  
both inside  
and out  
 
please  
choose  
yourself.  
 
My girl,  
allow me to tell you  
that you are worth  
everything  
 
that no man has the right  
to stamp on your heart  
and then decide  
how much it should hurt,  
that no wound is too deep  
to heal with the salve of time  
 
that no ground zero  
is ever enough to contain  
the phoenix of your spirit  
because bones will ascend  
dust will dissipate  
 
you will rise again.

Cosmonaut-x
Thought Provoker
1awards
Joined 3rd Sep 2017
Forum Posts: 4

Pick apart the parts of me
What do you see ?
Well I guess first you ought to know me
I'm ugly inside just a beast
This skin lies to your eyes
These green eyes trick your mind
I'm just a monster in human clothes
There are secrets I've never told
To any living soul
Locked up inside they hide growing mold
I've felt the insanity of true love
Had to choose between life or death
Been cornered trapped out of breath had my courage put to the test
Felt my knife  up under a neck
the warm blood running down my wrist
The screams
The cops
The judgement
My loss
Time I can never get back
People I will never hear talk
Lost lives
Missed dreams
The demons inside me
The fire I breathe
The souls that I reap
The chaos I seek
It follows me like a creep
Breathing down my neck
How long will this feeling last
I can't breathe I'm under attack
I'm trapped inside this mind
And I'm drowning fast

gazellemon
Bradley J
Fire of Insight
United States 6awards
Joined 6th Mar 2014
Forum Posts: 372

Woah.. everyone these are all amazing!

<3

eswaller
Dangerous Mind
United States 31awards
Joined 22nd Dec 2015
Forum Posts: 763

Away From the Tension

I am setting the pen to paper to let
The tension out that is trying to eat
Me alive. It does not let me forget
The pain or anger. It lets me defeat
The enemy and shadows in this
Harsh world. I simply just want to
Ease back from the dark abyss
And sink into the words. The blue
Sky just keeps calling my name.
It is bringing me back to the land
Of the living and light. The same
Darkness has lost its appeal and
Mark under my skin. The worries
Melt away and I am left how I was
Born, nearly naked. Even the flurries
Washes away the tension. The buzz
Finds a way to wear off and I back
Away from the edge with every crack.
Written by eswaller
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