deepundergroundpoetry.com

Vanishing

Don't let me vanish.
The wind attempts to whip me away.      
I'm lost...    
                  Alone    
I look at you and ache.    
I ache...  
 
My mouth says what comes to mind.      
It becomes the raging wind
Refusing to conform      
The wind attempts to whip me away.      
 
I can't say the things I should say.      
I can't seem to find a comfortable filter for you    
I'm Loosing you...      
That terrifys me against my better judgement
But not because you'll be gone
But because my ground will vanish       
 
I've managed to fall again into depressions' waiting mouth.      
This time I need some help.      

Its frustrating.    
Its devouring me.      
Its a personal storm.      

It blows my voice box into a web.    
It traps me like a spider does to its choosen prey. It makes the fight in my soul come out to play.      
 
Anxious that I'm doing everything wrong.      
Expecting an attack, so my brain preemptively attacks.    
Its humiliating.    
Makes me wish I would vanish.    
Just vanish...    
 
Praying the wind would transform me into ash so it can blow me away.      

Suddenly I feel your arms wrap around me... And I'm confused by the motives dancing in your predatory eyes.    

Turning to look into your face,      
And I don't want to be a pile of ash anymore.
I know I'll fight     
 
Unfourtantly I'm stuck.    
Inside this black hole I've been blown into again. Its too deep this time.      
Its teeth are razors against my skin.    
 
Reaching out for hope.    
Needing a comrade.    
Needing my partner in crime.      
Please find me in the dark      
I'm realizing I was never intended to fight alone.      
     
 
Jadedembers
Written by Jadedembers (Starving Demons)
Published | Edited 23rd Dec 2019
Author's Note
Copyright ©2019
Laura Behrmann (a.ka jadedembers). All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted
in any form, or by any means, including...
Copyright ©2019
Laura Behrmann (a.ka jadedembers). All Rights Reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted
in any form, or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic, or mechanical methods, without the prior written consent of the author or publisher.
All my poetry is copyrighted and stored in an author base. All material subject to Copyright infringement laws
Section 512(c)(3) of the U.S. Copyright
Act, 17 U.S.C. S512(c)(3), Laura Behrmann (a.ka jadedembers)

About domestic violence and the courage it takes to leave.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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