gracemarie
Poem Published
27th Nov 2024 12:44pm
27th Nov 2024 12:44pm
A better place
The world would be a better place
if I wasn't around
I try to bring others up
but all I do is bring them down
My tongue is bitter
Poisoned by pain
I feel like it would be better if I never spoke again
I try to heal the broken hearted
by showing them I care
the fear sets in and suddenly
I can't stand to be there
It's too many deep emotions
Something I can't stand
So when the people I care about need me most
I let go of their hand
I stand back and watch them drown
Because my ability to feel deep...
if I wasn't around
I try to bring others up
but all I do is bring them down
My tongue is bitter
Poisoned by pain
I feel like it would be better if I never spoke again
I try to heal the broken hearted
by showing them I care
the fear sets in and suddenly
I can't stand to be there
It's too many deep emotions
Something I can't stand
So when the people I care about need me most
I let go of their hand
I stand back and watch them drown
Because my ability to feel deep...
#death
#depression
#emotional
#love
#suicide
183 reads
3 Comments
Indie
Miss Indie
Miss Indie
Poem Published
11th Nov 2024 3:37am
11th Nov 2024 3:37am
decision fatigue
Decision fatigue:
it feels like a permanent brain freeze after trying
to inhale too much icecream. Decision making literally hurts, particularly anything open ended.
Small decisions are exhausting but doable.
Hard decisions are panic attack inducing.
The small every day things that everyone else
does feel like looking up at Mt Everest.
Add in depression and anxiety and you've got a
recipe for chaos.
I swore at you in the hardware store
after you tried to bully me into making
a decision I didn't need to...
it feels like a permanent brain freeze after trying
to inhale too much icecream. Decision making literally hurts, particularly anything open ended.
Small decisions are exhausting but doable.
Hard decisions are panic attack inducing.
The small every day things that everyone else
does feel like looking up at Mt Everest.
Add in depression and anxiety and you've got a
recipe for chaos.
I swore at you in the hardware store
after you tried to bully me into making
a decision I didn't need to...
#anger
#conflict
#depression #relationships
#depression #relationships
169 reads
2 Comments
Indie
Miss Indie
Miss Indie
Poem Published
23rd Oct 2024 10:48pm
23rd Oct 2024 10:48pm
why do you only call me when you're high?
The phone rings
and I feel like I'm playing
Russian Roulette with
Jekyll and Hyde
to answer or ignore
to answer or ignore
to answer or ignore
I answer
And it's all "hey babe
how you doing
I miss you"
and I can pretend
with total conviction
that this is the real you
that this moment in time
is a slice of reality
untainted
30 minutes in and I wish
I hadn't picked up
the fucking phone
...
and I feel like I'm playing
Russian Roulette with
Jekyll and Hyde
to answer or ignore
to answer or ignore
to answer or ignore
I answer
And it's all "hey babe
how you doing
I miss you"
and I can pretend
with total conviction
that this is the real you
that this moment in time
is a slice of reality
untainted
30 minutes in and I wish
I hadn't picked up
the fucking phone
...
#addiction
#depression
#drugs #friendship
#drugs #friendship
158 reads
2 Comments
hgnichols
Poem Published
18th Oct 2024 00:13am
18th Oct 2024 00:13am
New York Supplication
#alcohol
#depression
#sex #suicide
#sex #suicide
78 reads
3 Comments
I_was_rare_once
RareFaction
RareFaction
Poem Published
27th Sep 2024 7:43am
27th Sep 2024 7:43am
You cannot hide behind...
I watch the glow throw me back.
My mind knows past gashes and wounds.
Lie to me, make fake tears and trust.
It's not like I tried to paint the town red.
Treat me just as badly when we were not the darkest.
Sometimes we wished risks didn't end with blood.
Love it when snowfall meets blood.
Lie down and make angels behind your back.
Runes in the white hide all the wounds.
Dust of water is snow, Dusk in times of Trust.
Bled dust stained the snow soul red.
Farthest hope...
My mind knows past gashes and wounds.
Lie to me, make fake tears and trust.
It's not like I tried to paint the town red.
Treat me just as badly when we were not the darkest.
Sometimes we wished risks didn't end with blood.
Love it when snowfall meets blood.
Lie down and make angels behind your back.
Runes in the white hide all the wounds.
Dust of water is snow, Dusk in times of Trust.
Bled dust stained the snow soul red.
Farthest hope...
#abuse
#depression
#PTSD #SelfHarm
#PTSD #SelfHarm
269 reads
0 Comments
Vortex32167
Poem Published
30th Aug 2024 7:42pm
30th Aug 2024 7:42pm
When my mind starts to talk
Within a dark fortress, guarded by the damned, he lies in waiting. He’s watching my every move, I
hear his every word. I can’t hide from him, nor can I run. Because the dark fortress where he
reside is within my own mind, A fortress surrounded by prisons made of memories and
madness. Everywhere I turn I stumble and fall because of my own ignorance. I tried to ignore, I
tried to make it right. But you denied me, You tried to bury me as far and as deep as you could.
But to no avail. I bided my time, watched you wither away within your world of sorrow and...
hear his every word. I can’t hide from him, nor can I run. Because the dark fortress where he
reside is within my own mind, A fortress surrounded by prisons made of memories and
madness. Everywhere I turn I stumble and fall because of my own ignorance. I tried to ignore, I
tried to make it right. But you denied me, You tried to bury me as far and as deep as you could.
But to no avail. I bided my time, watched you wither away within your world of sorrow and...
#anxiety
#confusion
#depression
#emptiness
#MentalHealth
270 reads
6 Comments
toniscales
Lost Girl
Lost Girl
Poem Published
26th Aug 2024 11:55pm
26th Aug 2024 11:55pm
house of empty women
(a work in progress)
All the women's lives were wasted. Sadness collected in the corners of their eyes. They could find nothing to do with themselves but clean for hours, then sit in faded armchairs, crying. Listening quietly to the ticking of the clocks, the slow rotting of their bones. The ineptitude of their frail, small bodies, all the dust constellations in the light fixtures they couldn't reach.
In silent houses, the women wait. For the water to boil, for the dinners to cook. For our husbands. We awaken to rooms scattered with debris. You can't get rid of the dust...
All the women's lives were wasted. Sadness collected in the corners of their eyes. They could find nothing to do with themselves but clean for hours, then sit in faded armchairs, crying. Listening quietly to the ticking of the clocks, the slow rotting of their bones. The ineptitude of their frail, small bodies, all the dust constellations in the light fixtures they couldn't reach.
In silent houses, the women wait. For the water to boil, for the dinners to cook. For our husbands. We awaken to rooms scattered with debris. You can't get rid of the dust...
#dark
#depression
#despair #emptiness
#despair #emptiness
136 reads
3 Comments
ExercisingDemons
Poem Published
21st Aug 2024 3:55am
21st Aug 2024 3:55am
Tying Strings
#depression
89 reads
2 Comments
Northern_Soul
Poem Published
17th Aug 2024 10:46am
17th Aug 2024 10:46am
A word on footnotes
I run my fingers
over the spines of her library,
pull out books on fungi
& feminism to name a few
revel in the fact there is no dust
lingering between her books;
to be admired in a way
how she devotes to their care.
I pull out a poetry collection,
flick through its pages
recoil in horror as I find
pages smothered in annotations,
margins full of reading notes
highlighted passages
quotes underlined.
Every anthology I own is perfect
as...
over the spines of her library,
pull out books on fungi
& feminism to name a few
revel in the fact there is no dust
lingering between her books;
to be admired in a way
how she devotes to their care.
I pull out a poetry collection,
flick through its pages
recoil in horror as I find
pages smothered in annotations,
margins full of reading notes
highlighted passages
quotes underlined.
Every anthology I own is perfect
as...
#confessional
#depression
#LifeAsAWriter #myself
#LifeAsAWriter #myself
143 reads
1 Comment
Just-Rob
Poem Published
23rd Jul 2024 4:58pm
23rd Jul 2024 4:58pm
PSI
So in doing some research I come to realize I have PSI
Passive Suicidal Ideation
Basically, that means I want to die
But
I do not want to be the cause
I am unwilling to carry out the act myself
I hope for bad things to hsppen to me
Like a fatal car accident
A random shooting
An uncurable disease that will result in my death
A heart attack
Being struck by lightning
Anything that will result in my death
That I can feel no guilt about
...
Passive Suicidal Ideation
Basically, that means I want to die
But
I do not want to be the cause
I am unwilling to carry out the act myself
I hope for bad things to hsppen to me
Like a fatal car accident
A random shooting
An uncurable disease that will result in my death
A heart attack
Being struck by lightning
Anything that will result in my death
That I can feel no guilt about
...
#depression
#MentalHealth
#PTSD
#SelfDiscovery
#suicide
513 reads
6 Comments
Just-Rob
Poem Published
16th Jul 2024 00:35am
16th Jul 2024 00:35am
Devour
For as long as I can remember Ive been sick in my head
I lay in my bed
Wondering why I'm not dead
I try to push ahead
But Im running in place
Getting nowhere and its broken my faith
No matter what happens or how good a moment might be
There's always a feeling thats hopeless in me
Unable to see
A way that I can be free
Drowning in the deepest abyss
But the thought of no longer living is giving me bliss
My daughter said there's something wrong in my head
Cuz my brain isn't supposed to wanna be dead
Im trying to...
I lay in my bed
Wondering why I'm not dead
I try to push ahead
But Im running in place
Getting nowhere and its broken my faith
No matter what happens or how good a moment might be
There's always a feeling thats hopeless in me
Unable to see
A way that I can be free
Drowning in the deepest abyss
But the thought of no longer living is giving me bliss
My daughter said there's something wrong in my head
Cuz my brain isn't supposed to wanna be dead
Im trying to...
#dark
#depression
#despair #MentalHealth
#despair #MentalHealth
285 reads
5 Comments
DarkPopPrincess
Poem Published
10th Jul 2024 3:22am
10th Jul 2024 3:22am
Alone
Alone
More than anything in my life, since I was 14 years old, I have wanted a romantic partner for a lifetime.
But now, I'm wondering if all I can handle is being alone.
Had a lot of troubling thoughts today. Probably due to being around my toxic family members. It's an inevitable thing really since I do live with my mom, and she visits my sister at times. I'm too tired to move out. I'm too exhausted to even really function.
Because of how I've been treated by them and life, I'm shut down. It feels like someone's pushing my head down underwater,...
More than anything in my life, since I was 14 years old, I have wanted a romantic partner for a lifetime.
But now, I'm wondering if all I can handle is being alone.
Had a lot of troubling thoughts today. Probably due to being around my toxic family members. It's an inevitable thing really since I do live with my mom, and she visits my sister at times. I'm too tired to move out. I'm too exhausted to even really function.
Because of how I've been treated by them and life, I'm shut down. It feels like someone's pushing my head down underwater,...
#anxiety
#depression
#LifeStruggles
#loneliness
#love
208 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Long Poems About Depression
