21st Century Driving Lesson Part 2 - Highway Portion

TIME FOR THE HIGHWAY PORTION -
GET ON THE RAMP - ACCELERATE

NOW, GET IN THE MIDDLE LANE -
GET UP REAL CLOSE TO THE VEHICLE AHEAD

but its a big pick-up truck with, with,
 what is that hanging from the plates?
are those testicles?

YES MS.LANDFILL, A COMMON SIGHT THESE DAYS -
DONT BE SHY, GET RIGHT ON HIS ASS,
ERR, BALLS.
LEAVE JUST A HALF CAR LENGTH

what? but why?

TO SHOW THAT HILLBILLY HE IS GOING TOO SLOW

but he`s driving at the speed limit

EXACTLY

oh. alright, but he`s not speeding up

FLASH THE BRIGHTS

he`s still not reacting

THEN HONK TIFFANY, YOU BE THE JUDGE

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

VERY GOOD!!!

he`s not budging

SIGH, THEY USUALLY DONT - PASS HIM ON THE RIGHT

but isnt it customary  to....

PASS ON THE RIGHT - AND DONT BOTHER SIGNAL THIS TIME - GOOD, GOOD, ACCELERATE - NOW, GIVE HIM THE FINGER

what?

THE FINGER, FLIP HIM THE BIRD, THE ONE FINGER SALUTE,
TOUGHEN UP MS.LANDFILL -

all right, all right,
fuck you....you......
dirty hairy penis ass

YOU ARE GETTING THE HANG OF IT!

thank you sir

TAKE OUT YOUR CELLPHONE

but...

JUST TAKE IT OUT MS.LANDFILL

i didnt want to be distracted
i didnt even bring it, its illegal to....

HERE, CATCH -

huh? wtf?

GREAT REFLEXES MS.LANDFILL, I BET YOU PLAYED SOFTBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL -

no. i did not

WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE

harrrummmmph

THIS WILL BE YOUR LAST HIGHWAY MANEUVER ---
PASS THAT MONSANTO 18 WHEELER

on the right again?
the left says "grateful",
the right says "dead"

YES, VERY GOOD, IN THIS SITUATION,
DONT FUCK WITH THE PROFFESSIONAL DRIVER
DO YOU HAVE A HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND?

uhhhh...yes..a boyfriend [/font]

TEXT HIS NUMBER - REMEMBER THE AREA CODE TOO -
NOW SIMPLY TEXT "I LUV U"
SPEED UP
HERES ANOTHER COFFEE
FASTER.....
FASTER.......
FASTER.............