just this once...

29 of 30


I'm breaking my own rule
contemplating a particular what if
has me wondering...

who would I be...
if I loved me...
the way I care about others

how strong could I have been
if the understanding I've always given
had landed square on my weary shoulders

a cloak repelling the cold
as the world rained hard on my day
would it have borne less weight
been less agonizingly saturating
if I felt my own worth

how much less would it hurt
if the being on the receiving end
...was mine

love given is never a waste
I accept this as an absolute truth
so why do I withhold from myself
that which I freely give to everyone else

how would my failures have looked
viewed with the benefit of doubt
remembered the internal battle in which I've long been engaged
& not judged myself so harshly

might healing have been less
...exhausting
buried under less self-loathing

what would happen if I wrapped myself in compassion
encouraging & supporting my own endeavors

would I have more faith in personal choices
stand more confidently behind those decisions
if I used a self-loving voice

filling my own cup
from my eternally giving well
would it be as likely to so frequently run dry
if I regularly fed it
instead of perpetually draining it out

worth considering...I think
in this one instance...
perhaps...it's not too late...