Shadows Idle, Underfoot

Excellent. The emotions are clear in this piece.


hugs,
buddhakitty.

Thank you, buddhakitty.
It turned out stronger than I thought it would, actually.  I may leave it as is!  (I always see alternate lines after in dine with a write)

Masterful write… pulled me in… carried me along…

Hiya!  Thank you very much!
I'm digging your "Poesque" avatar!

"Holy fucking hell, how do you write like that??" These are literally the words that just shouted out of me as I read this, alone in a hotel room. Geez.

The shadow imagery was sweet & clever at first, and it just kept ramping up. The stanza about feeding fence pickets of our past into the merciful volcano... well that's where I had to stop and catch my breath, and that's when the swearing started... 😆

It's smart and ferocious and tender and happy all at once... just wow. Write a frigging book, will ya? I want to hold treasures like this in my hands to remind me just how moving poetry can be.
❤️k

LMAO !  
I just write.  No idea where it comes from. I "saw" the shadow under my shoe, as i stepped on it.  The write just poured out from that.  
Obviously there was more going on in my head, hence the subject expanding.  

I swear I'm putting together a book!  I've just been busy with a few things.  At least I'm never bored anyway.  No complaints!  

You're such a damn good writer... there's always something wonderful to find within each and every piece you pen. This one is no exception...

Truly fantastic read, M

Thank you for being a bastion of amazing quality reads...  

B

Thanks Susan.
I do try to consider the fact that these are posted to be read, and not just my personal diary type material.  I have a small pile that won't be posted, because yeah.
But, shouldn't we try to make these worth the reader's time, we hope?  
This one is actually now one of the ones I'm more proud of.  It has a maturity to it.  I think.  It took very little effort.  Like a perfect mindset to write it.
So thank you so so much for boosting my confidence, yet again.  I'm still aiming for a purpose to these!  

Hey Styx

Well look at this. I love the ending!!!
Our shadows being superheroes. Our alter ego tagging along
for the whole day and keeping us company.
The whole piece is beautiful but the ending is my fav part!!

Later gator

What's up pal.
This ending was actually a sudden flash of "perfect!" as I reread what I originally had.  Giving the shadows one more purpose before the end.    
I'm glad you approve!  

Now this. is. Great. Lives of shadows. Great lines. Beautiful. I cannot praise it enough.

How's you, Alviola?

I think, in retrospect, I was using shadows to represent our subconscious maybe?  Our inner thoughts or something?  How they're around, if not in the forefront.  
Sounds good, anyway!  
I'm iffy with a small part in one stanza. But I'm leaving it alone for now!  

Thanks for your huge kudos. I'm always relieved to know if they pass the test.

It is beautifully writ.

Dear S,

All the above comments times a thousand.  Stunning imagery and the emotional feelings pretty much jump off the page in describing the anticipated passion and togetherness.  All I could see was this quiet and gorgeous beach scene with two people who truly couldn’t wait to be together and all that that includes.  You have wonderfully blended the perfect amount of sexy, sweet, tender and kind in one beautiful poem. H 🌷

Well thanks H!  But i think you added more praise to this stew than i put in!  
I do like my results more than I do on many of my writes. It's pretty solid.  And if you got that much out of it, then I'm happy. So thank you!

The immediate image of the shadow, idle, waiting, has this very human mien about it. It engages the mind's eye image and evokes feeling. You capture with great ability that longing for connection that is so vital and yet we can be trepidatious in its pursuit, as opening ourselves to others leaves us open to being hurt. Rising to a tiptoe, the haptics are just beautiful in image and presence. You should send this into publications. The subtlety and presence are just incredible in their pairing.

Wow, thank you Daniel.
Obviously it all starts with standing on my own shadow, contemplating what's to come.  Like a launch, perhaps?  I didn't want to drag this write out too long, as I'm prone to do.  So some things were not too drawn out.  

I need serious editing help before I'd consider submitting to publications again.  I used to have an editor-friend who helped me a lot.  I'm definitely not polished enough as is.
But I appreciate the nudge all the same!

I know what you mean. I'm going to be submitting my new work to publications in sections, you can't send around something really long.

It’s all been said and deservedly so Styx …
You are the best story teller of everyday love and feeling on this site.  Agree with the others, want to see you in print in the book format  !!

Congrats on an amazing poem

BIG BIG ( intentional )

I need someone to kick me in the ass so I get busy on publishing again. It's been a long time since I did any pubs.  Much less a book size.  

I like that description, by the way, of "everyday love and feeling".  It's exactly true.  Nothing grand about my writes. Just creative thoughts from a guy that likes to write.  
I will get off my ass soon enough, I promise!  Lol

Thank you, Poetspeak.

Your praise is award enough.  Thank you for that.
Vulnerability, yes. But faith keeps it in check.  I never run out of faith in good people.  
For every bad there is a good.  I'm pretty good at choosing which is which!

I was somewhat reminded of Plato’s cave analogy when I read this. How we see what we want to see. How we feel what we want to feel. It lay heavy on me as I weaves my way through your narrative. It’s beautiful the way you do that. You see human connection in a very unique way. And thank god.

If I could just say one thing in the spirit of honesty (and you of course don’t have to listen to this at all… meer opinion) I’d lose that last line. I read “until they follow us out” and I stopped breathing. Then realised there was another line, which almost felt like an afterthought. Just feels a bit more punchy. But again, just my thoughts on reading it.

Stunning as usual. Thank you for sharing this one.

-M

Thank you for the input, and, But Dammit, Missy, I really like that last line.  Because it is supposed to aid indirectly describing the "empowerment" that the two exit with.  
I do see your point and get the sense of letting it drop off without that line. It's a valid point.  
This ending wasn't the original one, actually.  Yet I wanted this way because of wanting the two to feel "stronger" at the end. Yeah?  

Hey it’s YOUR poem. No sweat what so ever. I’m just honest with my feedback, but never take it personally. As long as you’re doing what’s right for you, that’s the main thing 😊

-M