deepundergroundpoetry.com
Boneless
My cells in sweet contortion,
as your passion infects me with
magic poison.
I wish I was boneless,
so I could twist and fly your body
all night long.
I see the shadows of me I hide,
in the blazing fire of your eyes.
You plunged into me
and seized my secrets from
the tenor of my moans.
In my deepest spaces,
my core knows you are a lustful danger.
My heart betrays my soul,
offering you endless wild abandon.
In between the grip
of my quivering canyon.
as your passion infects me with
magic poison.
I wish I was boneless,
so I could twist and fly your body
all night long.
I see the shadows of me I hide,
in the blazing fire of your eyes.
You plunged into me
and seized my secrets from
the tenor of my moans.
In my deepest spaces,
my core knows you are a lustful danger.
My heart betrays my soul,
offering you endless wild abandon.
In between the grip
of my quivering canyon.
Published 11th May 2023
Author's Note
A random fantasy 😊
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 8
reading list entries 1
comments 14
reads 389
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The author is looking for friendly feedback.
11th May 2023 12:58pm
11th May 2023 1:10pm
Thanks so much. Stepped away from heavier thoughts for a moment.
Have a great day 🌻
Have a great day 🌻
Anonymous
11th May 2023 1:51pm
Hi Deliabear,
How's Ru?
I agree with LiLD.
Nice sensual piece.
Take care.
X
How's Ru?
I agree with LiLD.
Nice sensual piece.
Take care.
X
11th May 2023 2:14pm
Hi, I'm ok despite some painful things I'm going through.
Thought I would fall into fantasy.
Have a beautiful day.
Thought I would fall into fantasy.
Have a beautiful day.
Anonymous
11th May 2023 2:37pm
I'm sorry 2 hear that Deliabear.
Im sure,with time,love and support.
Youll get through these things.
Glad 2 see U here.
Take care.
X
Im sure,with time,love and support.
Youll get through these things.
Glad 2 see U here.
Take care.
X
11th May 2023 4:56pm
11th May 2023 8:03pm
11th May 2023 9:28pm
11th May 2023 8:24pm
11th May 2023 9:27pm
11th May 2023 8:31pm
Hello there
There’s some really lovely sensuality in this. There’s a lot of tenderness that flows really well through the piece and I’m so glad that it’s labelled as fantasy - it does indeed feel very dream like.
If I could say one thing, I’d say maybe consider removing thigh’s in the last line as it feels a little superfluous. Quivering canyon is just a little more ambiguous, and yet still works as an image. That’s only my thoughts on reading it, of course you don’t even have to consider it :)
Thank you for sharing
-M
There’s some really lovely sensuality in this. There’s a lot of tenderness that flows really well through the piece and I’m so glad that it’s labelled as fantasy - it does indeed feel very dream like.
If I could say one thing, I’d say maybe consider removing thigh’s in the last line as it feels a little superfluous. Quivering canyon is just a little more ambiguous, and yet still works as an image. That’s only my thoughts on reading it, of course you don’t even have to consider it :)
Thank you for sharing
-M
Thank you for your lovely comments. I took into consideration what you said and think I will remove the word thigh's. I think you are right and I truly appreciate your honest critique. That is how we grow as writers.
Have a magical night ✨
Just changed it and I like the way it sounds better 😊
Have a magical night ✨
Just changed it and I like the way it sounds better 😊
Anonymous
- Edited 1st Nov 2024 6:45pm
12th May 2023 3:53am
<< post removed >>
Hi! Thanks for checking my poem out. I thought I'd step away from reality and create a fantasy. I appreciate your comments, thanks so much.
Have a wonderful day 🌺
Believe it or not, I came up with " boneless" watching this Netflix series on a ballet company. The beauty of the way they move, is as if they were boneless.
Have a wonderful day 🌺
Believe it or not, I came up with " boneless" watching this Netflix series on a ballet company. The beauty of the way they move, is as if they were boneless.
