deepundergroundpoetry.com
Your Uber is Here
To make extra money I signed up to be an Uber driver
So I took my car to get detailed and waxed
Later that night I would pick up my first customer
And the person who booked it, his name was Max
It was a late Saturday night so people are out drinking
I had to pick up Max over at La Cienega’s restaurant row
There were a lot of folks up and down the street
The smell of food seemed to be everywhere I’d go
When I got to the place I kept looking for this guy Max
But no one seemed to be looking for my car and make
So I parked and messaged him saying, “your Uber is here”
And he replied “would you open the door for me mate”
I got out of the car but I still didn’t see any body
Baffled I thought I might be at the wrong block
“I don’t see you” I said as I looked for this man
“I’m right here” another message came in “on the sidewalk”
I thought maybe the man had fallen on the ground
But when I went to the other side of the car no one is there
“Are you in front of the Prime Rib place” I asked
“Yes” the text said but I heard a dog bark too I swear
“There is no one here expect for a little dog” I texted
“That’s me” the dog barked then his message came in
I looked at the dog who was wearing a special collar
That looked like a mini phone but it was long and thin
“Is this some kind of joke” I said looking around
Upset and also concerned of where I’d parked
“Am I being punk’d, where is the hidden camera?”
“I can assure you it’s not a joke” Max then barked
“How is it possible?” I looked at the little dog
“My owner gave me this special collar as a gift
I know it may be a little confusing ” Max messaged
“Now are you still my ride or do I need to call Lyft?”
“No, no, please sir, won’t you come aboard” I said
“Would you be so kind as to open the door for me?
See I have no opposable thumbs” Max added
“I’ll make sure to leave a good review and a nice tip”
As I drove I asked Max about his special collar,
“Did you see the movie Up? Well it’s kind of like that,
Except my owner is a lady who is a genius inventor
But I just have be careful I don’t run into a cat”
I dropped Max off at a Mansion in the Hollywood hills
In his last bark-message he said “have a good-night sir”
I drove home thinking I had imagined the whole thing
But the next morning in the back seat I found some fur
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