Your Uber is Here

To make extra money I signed up to be an Uber driver  
So I took my car to get detailed and waxed  
Later that night I would pick up my first customer  
And the person who booked it, his name was Max  
It was a late Saturday night so people are out drinking  
I had to pick up Max over at La Cienega’s restaurant row  
There were a lot of folks up and down the street  
The smell of food seemed to be everywhere I’d go  
When I got to the place I kept looking for this guy Max  
But no one seemed to be looking for my car and make  
So I parked and messaged him saying, “your Uber is here”  
And he replied “would you open the door for me mate”  
I got out of the car but I still didn’t see any body  
Baffled I thought I might be at the wrong block  
“I don’t see you” I said as I looked for this man  
“I’m right here” another message came in “on the sidewalk”  
I thought maybe the man had fallen on the ground  
But when I went to the other side of the car no one is there  
“Are you in front of the Prime Rib place” I asked  
“Yes” the text said but I heard a dog bark too I swear  
“There is no one here expect for a little dog” I texted  
“That’s me” the dog barked then his message came in  
I looked at the dog who was wearing a special collar  
That looked like a mini phone but it was long and thin  
“Is this some kind of joke” I said looking around  
Upset and also concerned of where I’d parked  
“Am I being punk’d, where is the hidden camera?”  
“I can assure you it’s not a joke” Max then barked  
“How is it possible?” I looked at the little dog  
“My owner gave me this special collar as a gift  
I know it may be a little confusing ” Max messaged  
“Now are you still my ride or do I need to call Lyft?”  
“No, no, please sir, won’t you come aboard” I said  
“Would you be so kind as to open the door for me?  
See I have no opposable thumbs” Max added  
“I’ll make sure to leave a good review and a nice tip”  
As I drove I asked Max about his special collar,  
“Did you see the movie Up? Well it’s kind of like that,  
Except my owner is a lady who is a genius inventor  
But I just have be careful I don’t run into a cat”  
I dropped Max off at a Mansion in the Hollywood hills  
In his last bark-message he said “have a good-night sir”  
I drove home thinking I had imagined the whole thing  
But the next morning in the back seat I found some fur
Written by wallyroo92
Published | Edited 15th Jan 2023
Author's Note
For the Delightfully bonkers #7: January comp.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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