deepundergroundpoetry.com
Red Flannel Symphony
I went to bed with lust last night.
I've woken, to being in love
with the contoured aura
under silk, of her body.
The curtain is parted,
as the sun fingers through.
No protests, from the window,
as the light slides across the floor
and slinks up the side of the bed.
I watch, and smile,
as the sunlight rubs
where I've already been.
She stirs, and if she smiles
at the sight of me,
I will bring her coffee.
If she frowns, or groans,
she can get her own.
Her hand finds me first;
Yes, this happened.
Her eyes can wait, to adjust,
as I contemplate
her joy, or regret.
A wry smile;
A stretch.
A serpent sated
by a large meal.
I get;
She takes her coffee
with sugar and milk.
I watch the yellow bird tattoo
softly peck at her right breast.
I'm sure that it symbolizes something.
But I don't know her
well enough to ask.
Maybe I will, in the bath.
Soon enough, we're soaking;
Her elbows on my knees,
as we shelter in steam.
As the water rises,
to lap at the last places
that we introduced to each other.
I string her hair through my fingers;
Dark, like the vines of midnight.
She leans back against my chest
and sips her less black coffee.
She squeezes my knee, and
relaxes even more than she did
with the whiskey last night.
When it had told her
everything that she had wanted to hear,
as it soothed its way
down into her throat.
It's an elixir, for the ailments
that plague our kind.
An opened bottle, helping us
with an opening line.
-How the ice rattled like dice.
Where every serpent
hopes for snake eyes
from another,
with similar venom.
Dried off,
she's chilly, so
she pulls my red flannel shirt
from all the rest.
Those left, are hanging in rejection.
Suspended, in dejection.
We take our coffee out back, where
the clouds have overtaken the sun.
It's a jealous sun today.
It can't touch like I can.
It can't go, where I do.
As I kiss the corner of her smile.
As I absorb
the luxury of her skin.
~~~
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Re. Red Flannel Symphony
5th Nov 2022 2:49pm
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 10:24pm
Thanks Kink!
I have my good ideas come together sometimes. It's like picking apples out of a tree to me.
I have my good ideas come together sometimes. It's like picking apples out of a tree to me.
Re. Red Flannel Symphony
5th Nov 2022 2:57pm
I like the part about her ass
I'll admit that
I like a lot else too
Writing relationships and sex is your craft
So very well executed
You don't even have to try
That river just flows
BIG LIKE
I'll admit that
I like a lot else too
Writing relationships and sex is your craft
So very well executed
You don't even have to try
That river just flows
BIG LIKE
1
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 10:34pm
How's you doing?!
The whole "butt" part is totally out of place in this write, I know that. But it was to state a point. I will probably edit the quote portions out, soon. It served a purpose, but not really for the write itself.
Honestly, writes like these actually are easy for me. They're my bread and butter really. I just take in what occurs and write it into something worth reading. Literally every single thing can be worth noting, in our days. It is up to us to make it worth reading is all.
Thanks PS. I tried to write a lovely poem around a statement. But, the poem deserves to be free of my opinion.
The whole "butt" part is totally out of place in this write, I know that. But it was to state a point. I will probably edit the quote portions out, soon. It served a purpose, but not really for the write itself.
Honestly, writes like these actually are easy for me. They're my bread and butter really. I just take in what occurs and write it into something worth reading. Literally every single thing can be worth noting, in our days. It is up to us to make it worth reading is all.
Thanks PS. I tried to write a lovely poem around a statement. But, the poem deserves to be free of my opinion.
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 10:48pm
I know they are easy for you.
Most of my art is easy.
I'm starting to challenge myself again. New things I'm not good at.
I will enjoy the journey I hope.
Rebirth perhaps
Keep rocking Mister
We need you here
Most of my art is easy.
I'm starting to challenge myself again. New things I'm not good at.
I will enjoy the journey I hope.
Rebirth perhaps
Keep rocking Mister
We need you here
1
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 11:01pm
The percentage of us being good at something new is like .0009%. So whatever you are undertaking, hit it head on and with gusto. Laugh at your own mistakes. And try again.
We are own worst critics, right?
I'm the kind that can see the effort being made, before the results. That is the human part.
So be human. While we admire.
We are own worst critics, right?
I'm the kind that can see the effort being made, before the results. That is the human part.
So be human. While we admire.
Re. Red Flannel Symphony
5th Nov 2022 8:03pm
This is dope! Romance mixed with wit.
Very unexpected but pulled of masterfully.
Very unexpected but pulled of masterfully.
1
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 10:36pm
Well thank you very much for the wonderful compliment. I do try to make them worth a reader's time . Thanks for letting me know that it was.
Re. Red Flannel Symphony
5th Nov 2022 8:39pm
Nothing more comfy than soft flannel and skin. Loved how you combined everything
into an comfortable sensual experience.
Also loved the coffee part - it's so sweet and shows attention the morning after
and sitting in the backyard.. . . sigh.
Great write amigo
into an comfortable sensual experience.
Also loved the coffee part - it's so sweet and shows attention the morning after
and sitting in the backyard.. . . sigh.
Great write amigo
1
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 10:47pm
Yeah but she kept my damn shirt! I like that shirt!
What about my flower picture!? I have eight of those bushes growing along my back fence. It's nice when there's a bunch of flowers all blooming at once. The white fence background really makes them more colorful. Awesome red!
Yes, Dammit, it makes me content!
I'm glad that you approve of the comfy-ness. Lol. It's more my speed.
And hey, I'm very attentive! I'm a good host usually. Lol.
My stick body ain't going to win many women over, so I have to try another angle. Lol
(Miami won today, and Dallas didn't lose!)
What about my flower picture!? I have eight of those bushes growing along my back fence. It's nice when there's a bunch of flowers all blooming at once. The white fence background really makes them more colorful. Awesome red!
Yes, Dammit, it makes me content!
I'm glad that you approve of the comfy-ness. Lol. It's more my speed.
And hey, I'm very attentive! I'm a good host usually. Lol.
My stick body ain't going to win many women over, so I have to try another angle. Lol
(Miami won today, and Dallas didn't lose!)
Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 2:41am
I am contentedly married, and yet your writes like this always make me wish I was dating again! LOL You make it sound so much more... comfortable than I remember. But I suppose I was less comfortable in my skin then.
You are so skilled at writing a scene and a closeness without having to say too much. Another beautiful write.
❤k
You are so skilled at writing a scene and a closeness without having to say too much. Another beautiful write.
❤k
1
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 10:54pm
You can still have a date night being married. Actually, you should! But, you have to pick somewhere/something new to both of you. So the thrill of something new to experience can boost your enthusiasm all around . That exuberance is a drug!
Thanks K. Like I've said, I do try to make them interesting writes, obviously.
The basic story is generic for everyone;
We met up
We got along
We had sex
We went our separate ways
until maybe a next time
The end.
Lol.
Kinda blah, huh. So part two is the writing, and making it worth reading. Right?
Now go tell your SO that you want a date night!
Thanks K. Like I've said, I do try to make them interesting writes, obviously.
The basic story is generic for everyone;
We met up
We got along
We had sex
We went our separate ways
until maybe a next time
The end.
Lol.
Kinda blah, huh. So part two is the writing, and making it worth reading. Right?
Now go tell your SO that you want a date night!
Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 4:03am
Dear S,
The nuances of the unsaid are what capture my attention. The vignettes of conversation are outstanding such it makes the imagery of what is written is so crystal clear I almost feel voyeuristic. It’s a rare gift you have that can pull in a reader to be so engaged so immediately. Amazing write. And your avatar is equally compelling Captain Jack Sparrow. 😉
H🌷
The nuances of the unsaid are what capture my attention. The vignettes of conversation are outstanding such it makes the imagery of what is written is so crystal clear I almost feel voyeuristic. It’s a rare gift you have that can pull in a reader to be so engaged so immediately. Amazing write. And your avatar is equally compelling Captain Jack Sparrow. 😉
H🌷
1
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 11:08pm
Hello H.
Thank you!
I have a habit of taking for granted that some details are not obvious in my writes sometimes, because those details are being played out in my head. And no one else is in there to see it, obviously. So I neglect to explain, or fill in some details.
Yet, some are obvious, and some the reader can fill in with their own thoughts.
I do try to pick up the little side pieces, though, to fill in a scene. It's the fullness I'm looking for. I appreciate your seeing it too.
(The pirate costume had the hat, eye piece, sword, etc... But, drinking makes things fall off., right? Lol. And there is a wench with me, but I cut her out of the picture. Lol)
Thank you!
I have a habit of taking for granted that some details are not obvious in my writes sometimes, because those details are being played out in my head. And no one else is in there to see it, obviously. So I neglect to explain, or fill in some details.
Yet, some are obvious, and some the reader can fill in with their own thoughts.
I do try to pick up the little side pieces, though, to fill in a scene. It's the fullness I'm looking for. I appreciate your seeing it too.
(The pirate costume had the hat, eye piece, sword, etc... But, drinking makes things fall off., right? Lol. And there is a wench with me, but I cut her out of the picture. Lol)
Re. Red Flannel Symphony
“The curtain is parted,
as the sun fingers through.
No protests, from the window,
as the light slides across the floor
and slinks up the side of the bed.
I watch, and smile,
as the sunlight rubs
where I've already been. “
Anthropomorphism is your specialty. Excellent. Excellent. I learn every time I read one of your poems.
as the sun fingers through.
No protests, from the window,
as the light slides across the floor
and slinks up the side of the bed.
I watch, and smile,
as the sunlight rubs
where I've already been. “
Anthropomorphism is your specialty. Excellent. Excellent. I learn every time I read one of your poems.
1
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 11:20pm
To me, everything has a statement in some way. A movement to it. We just have to pay attention to our surroundings.
I appreciate it Aviola. My payoff is reading your stuff. And others, that feeds my mini addiction .
I appreciate it Aviola. My payoff is reading your stuff. And others, that feeds my mini addiction .
Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 11:58am
There's a line which goes something like 'I'm jealous of the rain which soaks your skin.' Love how this kind of turns that on its head. You always capture the devilment and lushness of sexual contact / human heartbeat Styx.
1
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
6th Nov 2022 11:23pm
Cool comment! And I want to steal that line!
I won't lie, my motivations are pretty obvious. But, what better subject?
I won't lie, my motivations are pretty obvious. But, what better subject?
Re. Red Flannel Symphony
8th Nov 2022 7:46pm
Your imagery is always spectacular.
I go to bed with lust every night. ;)
The aura of this piece is gorgeous...
Silk of the body is so beautiful.
That second stanza, wow...
Parting the curtain of my mind.
Fingers playing there, stroking...
No protests that's for sure.
You are rubbing me there. :p
I am smiling for sure, but...
I want coffee damnit! lol
Ah yes! I know what the hand finds first...
Lookng for something more than coffee.
Oh yes! that happened.
A wry smile in the morning is always inviting.
And the serpent rising... again
That's a large meal. ;)
No sugar or milk for me.
I get my cream in other ways.
Sweet too...
Yellow bird tattoo, that's interesting.
Never seen one like that.
A bath is always great way to start the day.
But always getting very dirty still.
Fingers pulling at the hair, oh the tingles.
'Dark, like the vines of midnight' Beautiful...
Still golden strands are too damnit!
Black coffee... don't need sugar or cream. ;)
Haha, staying away from the butt...
The hell you did. :p Just saying.
But always good that you never get tired of... nevermind.
I know the elixir I need for my ailments.
It's not whiskey. I wrote one called 'Waterfall' about that. ;)
Always look better in a guy's shirt than you do right? :p
Red flannel is a great choice. sexy!
"It's a jealous sun today.
It can't touch like I can.
It can't go, where I do."
Perfect... I love it!
Damn! Styx this is extraordinary. The imagery is so amazing.
Just love everything about it.
"As I kiss the corner of her smile." Damn!
I go to bed with lust every night. ;)
The aura of this piece is gorgeous...
Silk of the body is so beautiful.
That second stanza, wow...
Parting the curtain of my mind.
Fingers playing there, stroking...
No protests that's for sure.
You are rubbing me there. :p
I am smiling for sure, but...
I want coffee damnit! lol
Ah yes! I know what the hand finds first...
Lookng for something more than coffee.
Oh yes! that happened.
A wry smile in the morning is always inviting.
And the serpent rising... again
That's a large meal. ;)
No sugar or milk for me.
I get my cream in other ways.
Sweet too...
Yellow bird tattoo, that's interesting.
Never seen one like that.
A bath is always great way to start the day.
But always getting very dirty still.
Fingers pulling at the hair, oh the tingles.
'Dark, like the vines of midnight' Beautiful...
Still golden strands are too damnit!
Black coffee... don't need sugar or cream. ;)
Haha, staying away from the butt...
The hell you did. :p Just saying.
But always good that you never get tired of... nevermind.
I know the elixir I need for my ailments.
It's not whiskey. I wrote one called 'Waterfall' about that. ;)
Always look better in a guy's shirt than you do right? :p
Red flannel is a great choice. sexy!
"It's a jealous sun today.
It can't touch like I can.
It can't go, where I do."
Perfect... I love it!
Damn! Styx this is extraordinary. The imagery is so amazing.
Just love everything about it.
"As I kiss the corner of her smile." Damn!
1
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
9th Nov 2022 3:38am
Hello Golden hair!
No way you drink coffee straight up black with no additives!
I deleted the adult content part, because it messed up a decent write I think. I intended to all along. But, I wanted the shock value at the time, to stress a point.
And, whatever happens between two people in private is up to them. I dont kiss and tell literally, with details. I'm all for down and dirty, but classy enough to keep it private! Lol
-Nothing is sexier than a woman wearing a man's button up shirt! It's awesome!
I know lingerie is a billion dollar business. That's all hot and all. But, I really like women who wear my shirts. Lol. It has a certain comfort level to it.
Anyway hot stuff, I have the fire extinguisher right beside me! Light those fires! Lol
Thanks Scooby, for the awesome comeback comment. Nice to see you drop in , and the heat you bring!
No way you drink coffee straight up black with no additives!
I deleted the adult content part, because it messed up a decent write I think. I intended to all along. But, I wanted the shock value at the time, to stress a point.
And, whatever happens between two people in private is up to them. I dont kiss and tell literally, with details. I'm all for down and dirty, but classy enough to keep it private! Lol
-Nothing is sexier than a woman wearing a man's button up shirt! It's awesome!
I know lingerie is a billion dollar business. That's all hot and all. But, I really like women who wear my shirts. Lol. It has a certain comfort level to it.
Anyway hot stuff, I have the fire extinguisher right beside me! Light those fires! Lol
Thanks Scooby, for the awesome comeback comment. Nice to see you drop in , and the heat you bring!
Re: Re. Red Flannel Symphony
10th Nov 2022 6:34pm
Absolutely drink it straight up black. No bullshit... lol
WHAT? I want the adult content part. Send it to me Damnit!
Okay, privately. lol
A man who doesn't love a woman wearing his button up shirt is well... * nevermind * lol Who needs lingerie and yes comfort for sure especially when unbuttoned.
Always lighting them... Glad you have protection. lol
I will be dropping in again soon. ;)
WHAT? I want the adult content part. Send it to me Damnit!
Okay, privately. lol
A man who doesn't love a woman wearing his button up shirt is well... * nevermind * lol Who needs lingerie and yes comfort for sure especially when unbuttoned.
Always lighting them... Glad you have protection. lol
I will be dropping in again soon. ;)
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