deepundergroundpoetry.com
Love So Deep
Lying lonely in this grave,
it's too late my soul to save,
For Ravens flock and fly around,
just to hear my lonely sounds,
Claustrophobic in the ground,
Darkness clothes me all around,
Many souls do lurk above,
The ones who didn't praise God enough,
But Why am I still here alone?
Because evil in my heart had grown,
Jealousy and greed did follow,
Because of them my heart is hallow,
Punished with my guilt and shame,
Only I can feel my pain,
No one else to care but me,
Will God have pity on thee?
For what I did was wrong,
But in doing it was right,
It didn't take me very long
To take a life that night,
That life I took was minute in that hour,
For my wife was taken with nasty power,
Sorry im not but sad am I,
For she is gone up to the sky,
My sacrifice was without measure,
For my wife was my greatest treasure,
Our love still strong through space and time,
Forever she'll live deep in my mind
it's too late my soul to save,
For Ravens flock and fly around,
just to hear my lonely sounds,
Claustrophobic in the ground,
Darkness clothes me all around,
Many souls do lurk above,
The ones who didn't praise God enough,
But Why am I still here alone?
Because evil in my heart had grown,
Jealousy and greed did follow,
Because of them my heart is hallow,
Punished with my guilt and shame,
Only I can feel my pain,
No one else to care but me,
Will God have pity on thee?
For what I did was wrong,
But in doing it was right,
It didn't take me very long
To take a life that night,
That life I took was minute in that hour,
For my wife was taken with nasty power,
Sorry im not but sad am I,
For she is gone up to the sky,
My sacrifice was without measure,
For my wife was my greatest treasure,
Our love still strong through space and time,
Forever she'll live deep in my mind
Written by
Sapphirewolf
Published 6th Oct 2022
| Edited 1st Apr 2023
Author's Note
No inspiration I just start thinking at random and this is what was made. This did not happen to me or anyone I know.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 12
reading list entries 3
comments 17
reads 641
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Love So Deep
7th Oct 2022 2:27am
Great piece subject matter waa sad in a way but heartfelt
Keep up the good work
Love and light
Ron xx
Keep up the good work
Love and light
Ron xx
1
Re: Re. Love So Deep
7th Oct 2022 3:44am
To a new poet how would you have changed anything or structured it differently? Anything I can improve on?
Re. Love So Deep
Love comes and goes. I'll be here if you need someone to talk to. Keep on writing.
0
Anonymous
- Edited 25th Oct 2022 6:45pm
7th Oct 2022 2:48am
<< post removed >>
Re. Love So Deep
7th Oct 2022 3:42am
This reminds me of so-called 18th century "murder ballads".
Neatly done, and yes, very appropriate for the season!
Neatly done, and yes, very appropriate for the season!
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Re: Re. Love So Deep
7th Oct 2022 3:51am
I have never heard of those 😯. Any in particular you suggest I read. I tend to lean towards more darker poems of death for some odd reason when im nit writing about nature.
That's a huge compliment thank you very very much!!
That's a huge compliment thank you very very much!!
Re: Re. Love So Deep
7th Oct 2022 4:02am
Yeah they are fairly obscure but if you lean toward the gothic stuff you will probably like them.
I can't recollect the online source where I found out about them but I expect some googling will dig something up. They may even go back as far as the 17th century and I think they tell tales of witches too. I think they can even be somewhat gruesome sometimes. I think it was on a university library database.
I can't recollect the online source where I found out about them but I expect some googling will dig something up. They may even go back as far as the 17th century and I think they tell tales of witches too. I think they can even be somewhat gruesome sometimes. I think it was on a university library database.
1
Re: Re. Love So Deep
7th Oct 2022 4:03am
Re. Love So Deep
7th Oct 2022 4:13am
Sapphirewolf,
Love So Deep! This was one great proliferic write. The rhyme scheme is ah wonderful and also, the ah sadness ah within is truly elegantly ah matchful.👍👁️👅🍑🍜🧅👄🥂🍹🍺
Love So Deep! This was one great proliferic write. The rhyme scheme is ah wonderful and also, the ah sadness ah within is truly elegantly ah matchful.👍👁️👅🍑🍜🧅👄🥂🍹🍺
1
Re. Love So Deep
7th Oct 2022 4:54am
This is what poetry is all about. The ability to transfer thoughts to paper, and invoke the true nature of one's feelings. Reading this in the dark made a chill run down my spine!
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Re: Re. Love So Deep
7th Oct 2022 5:02am
Thank you dear reader for your reply. What a compliment! I will be looking to see what you share.
Re. Love So Deep
27th Oct 2022 4:36am
Re. Love So Deep
10th Jan 2023 3:18am
Sometimes the deepest confessions come in moments when we are not thinking anything in particular, and sometimes we just connect with the spirit of everything, I think, it just rises from the sea of the heart. 💖
1
Re. Love So Deep
18th Apr 2023 00:27am
Wow, this is one of those rare pieces that leave me speechless. This is so powerful. Just wow. 😭
1
Re: Re. Love So Deep
18th Apr 2023 2:45am
Thank you ever so much! Im so happy you enjoyed it! I have a prequel poem thay I accidentally wrote it is called Beneath Hells Feet. Also check out consequentialchaos he is a great writer as well!
Re. Love So Deep
26th Feb 2024 10:48pm
The imagination is a great thing to explore, trying out new ideas and finding inspiration in the least likely of places.
Nice job.
Nice job.
1