Relabeled The Unstable Fable

It stopped in mid thought
As I awakened alive and unwell
My first after thought was her skin I can taste and still smell
Left so damn distraught in my head I'm out fought
With what was I thinking has now been out thought and curtailed
So what does my mind have in mind the next time
For my dream thoughts to spot and unveil
A conundrum
In my hard knock dreams
With my blocked thoughts
When unblocked will unlock the paradox
Blocked thoughts that are low-key stocked and locked
From the shock with my dreams in a box that my dreams lock
There's a chain that links around that box
Kinked in knots and jinxed with locks
That's locked with clocks that only unlock
When the hands on the clocks
Got just the right times
In just the right spots on the dot
After fifty-eleven blinks and thirty-nine winks it unlocks is my thought
I don't have the time my guess on that the devil's got
Round and round on the carousel
Undeniably a ride unparalleled
Reminiscent of a known well hell
Details entailed so vividly vague still fails to dispel
Cast redundantly under a spell that repelled
Flipped heads over tails head on I hit it
The head on the nail at the end of the scale
On the tip of the tail as if no one can tell
As I'm gasping for air to inhale
Torn asunder inside of my shell
Scattered and scorned from the thorns of the unborn
Locked inside of this cell with the easterly winds
Let out of my sail I exhale with a yell as I wail
Why pray tell am I now compelled
To tell the undertakers untold tale
Of deep thoughts with shallow plots
Coroner's lots and fly swats as coffins rot
With blood stained spots and rusted nails
Tolling bells stopped gunshots botched
Inside clocks watched
Tongues tied up in knots
Three hots and a cot
Time's not forgot what's inside his black lunch pail
With the mud and the blood of the one's who fell
Written in words on the wall misspelled
From the frail withered hands of the pale infidels
Not encumbered from the slumber was a blunder in the numbers
Like rotten lumber all fell asunder
From six feet under they did assail
Now below slow rolling thunder sounds the tolling of the knell
If I take all the time I wasted in all that I partook
With all that's been taken away put with all that I took
Then add the given and ill gotten gains with all that's been with held
Plus the cost of what I lost and put it on the scale
It would tell the tale that I never could tell
A story far too disgraceful and too damned shameful to unveil
For every missed aching is another mistake I make
Maybe I was faking but I was never fake
For sure I was mistaken with how much was at stake
Gambling when risks outweigh rewards is a bet best not to take
There's always been this aching inside me I can't shake
Some think they understand me but I know they can't relate
From this ache there's no escaping
How much more can one man take
This chase in me is racing what I've faced I can't embrace
This space in me is gaping from the parts of me misplaced
All this waste in me disgracing from the haste put in my place
At the pace of this erasing soon reshaped I'll be displaced
Then unmade from what God's forsaken
I'll be replaced without a trace
My endeavor's clever ending pending double thoughts unsought
So overwrought still overthinking yet I forget what I rethought
On and on it keeps extending grace and mercy I've besought
Into this darkness I am blending with this we did from what we got
Comprehending those condemning from all this nothing shall avail
From the plunder and offending beneath the veil of this betrayal
There's no befriending those pretending
Their condescending ways foretell
Much bewailed was not intending on all this sorrow and travail
I've endured since the beginning
Many times I thought I'd fail
To make amends I'll keep contending
Against defeat I have rebelled
Unhinged and hindered from my sinning
Still hopes high that I'll prevail
Past this disaster is happy thereafter
After I BY GOD get through hell
So I'll continue on past the bending and further there on if so leads the trail
Until I transcend my end or this dead-ends ending
And then I'll bid my last farewell