epiphanies, clarity, aging and a sort of gained wisdom


Today, I am no longer.  
I am no longer going to need what I know isn't needed in return  
Unrequited will no longer be a madness affected  
I am no longer going to worry about being too old,  
an out of my hands concern, so freeing, that now I can just bask in the solace of an universal truth, that youth will always intoxicate, yet it's wisdom from experience that truly matters in the end. †
I am no longer going to procrastinate,  
doing in the moment what needs fucking done-  
I am no longer going to allow petty outside forces and their voices to burrow into my head and heart.
Prodding self confidence and esteem with 1000 volts, if need be. †
I will no longer listen to a woman who plants consistent seeds of internal fuck all.  
I will keep my head held high and access my inner child, who I usually force down to hide. I'll let her remember that even in all my still loyal care of true blue, there lies an undeserving mother, it's all her and never ever was you. †
I will no longer become the thing that I most despise.  
My soul, mind, body and heart will be looked after, exercised in a manner that celebrates and removes any stagnant stench. †
I will NO longer hold onto toxicity.  
I will and can do better than a rehash of purposeful mental destruction. †
I will no longer have any form of hate slither into my psyche.  
To fester is to become infected and gangrene.  
I will no longer deny as punishment and reward with gluttony.  
Moderation is my new fucking mantra. †
I will no longer let fear have it's say about anything, anymore.  
Fuck you fear, you're just stale leftovers from 2020 and nothing but regurgitated history. †

Today my no longer  
will soon become shiny, anew †

Written by Bluevelvete
Author's Note
a stream of consciousness when I couldn't fall back to sleep this morning... Damn that 'post it all' self promise... it took all day to muster the courage...
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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