Empty Bed

From pigtails to ponytails
braids to buns
princess wishes to teenage dreams
plastic tiaras to prom dresses
skinned knees to scuffed hearts
From a little girl dancing in your shadow
to a young lady mourning a mothers love from a heart that still beat but was never to be seen
haunted by the empty space at the foot of the bed
where the ghost that diminished her worth sat in your place instead

You never warned her about boys like him
never convinced her she was too good for them
No wisdom wrapped warnings to reel in a wild heart
or mend the inevitable wounds of young love
No anchor of reason to cling onto when the hurricanes of passion pull her to the dark side of paradise
Unable to let go, riding the wave until the catastrophic crashing end
No whispers of lessons to forewarn how fairytales deceive
and some men are destined to leave

Following the path you paved for her
she offered her heart to men as broken as you
Lost and misguided, priorities askew
Ceaselessly loving those when they didn’t deserve it, assuming they needed it most
Competing with afflictions for attention
Begging to be loved more than their demons
Sweeping broken promises under the rug
Falling for sweet words that turn to cyanide
She was a masterpiece collecting dust, never to be hung
To their gallows of love, she clung

Betting on love, she got more than she bargained for
bruises and scars left on her porcelain skin
Wounds accrued fighting alongside those battling wars within
In the middle of the night,her hand slides across a cold, empty bed
She’ll keep grasping for a love that forever remains just out of reach
An empty tank of dreams fumes out
and the nightmare of her reality flashes back
Tucked into bed with what could’ve beens
Haunted by regrets of time wasted
She rests uneasily amongst the carnage of loving those incapable of loving her the same
You made the first cut and the beasts smelled the blood
like scavengers they devoured her heart until all her love bled out
Now she cuddles the emptiness
under the covers of loneliness

© Julia Pauhl, 2021