deepundergroundpoetry.com
POOR EUROPE !
POOR EUROPE !
Tell me where you have been bred,
and how parents dealt with you,
I will know about your faith
and if God is in your view.
single mothers and one sex
bring the kids of coming days.
How can those kids live in mirth
with those who have lost their ways?
Families breed normal kids
and fill infancy with love.
Where is that in Europe now?
How can its countries survive?
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Tell me where you have been bred,
and how parents dealt with you,
I will know about your faith
and if God is in your view.
single mothers and one sex
bring the kids of coming days.
How can those kids live in mirth
with those who have lost their ways?
Families breed normal kids
and fill infancy with love.
Where is that in Europe now?
How can its countries survive?
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 2nd Jun 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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The author encourages honest critique.
7 syllable lines?
If you were intent to write in a regular meter instead of a halting one, you should have written something along these lines:
Please tell me where you have been bred[,]
and how your parents dealt with you,
I then will know about your faith
and if my God is in your view.
If you were intent to write in a regular meter instead of a halting one, you should have written something along these lines:
Please tell me where you have been bred[,]
and how your parents dealt with you,
I then will know about your faith
and if my God is in your view.
6th Jun 2020 10:41pm
"Join between"?? What kind of English is that?
And what is it that I don't know? Do you really think 7 syllable lines can be metrically consistent let alone consistently trochaic? How are lines 1-4 to be scanned?
To my eye, they scan like this:
TELL me WHERE you HAVE been BRED
AND how PARents DEALT with YOU,
I will KNOW aBOUT your FAITH
AND if GOD is IN your VIEW.
In other words, troche, troche, cretic (amphimacer). So if there's any "joining" here, it's something done by you.
And what is it that I don't know? Do you really think 7 syllable lines can be metrically consistent let alone consistently trochaic? How are lines 1-4 to be scanned?
To my eye, they scan like this:
TELL me WHERE you HAVE been BRED
AND how PARents DEALT with YOU,
I will KNOW aBOUT your FAITH
AND if GOD is IN your VIEW.
In other words, troche, troche, cretic (amphimacer). So if there's any "joining" here, it's something done by you.
6th Jun 2020 10:50pm
You don't know what you are talking about. You have used two rhythms in your correction. How can you do that?
"You don't know what you are talking about. You have used two rhythms in your correction. How can you do that?"
Easily. And what's wrong with using different metrical feet in any given line? You do it (as I've shown above). If it's wrong for me, then it's wrong for you.
BTW, many of the poets who wrote before free verse became popular often employed different metrical feet within a given line and from line to line. So I don't think I'm the one who doesn't know what he's talking about.
But I'm still waiting for you to demonstrate how your lines are regularly and consistently trochaic.
In any case, thanks for (implicitly) admitting in your changing "join between" to " used two rhythms" that your phrase "Join between" was not good English.
Easily. And what's wrong with using different metrical feet in any given line? You do it (as I've shown above). If it's wrong for me, then it's wrong for you.
BTW, many of the poets who wrote before free verse became popular often employed different metrical feet within a given line and from line to line. So I don't think I'm the one who doesn't know what he's talking about.
But I'm still waiting for you to demonstrate how your lines are regularly and consistently trochaic.
In any case, thanks for (implicitly) admitting in your changing "join between" to " used two rhythms" that your phrase "Join between" was not good English.
7th Jun 2020 7:14pm
Why? I suspect it's because you cannot defend your claims.
And why do you think you are worth reading?
And why do you think you are worth reading?
7th Jun 2020 8:07pm
7th Jun 2020 10:54pm
So the reason you are worth reading is that someone else is, in your estimation, (but, notably, not in the eyes of other contributors here) a poor writer? Wow. That's like concluding that you smell really nice because your body odor is not as bad as the odor that hangs around pig dung.
Your words are always very polite. Therefore, people hate to read them and give you your due.
8th Jun 2020 00:27am
24th Sep 2020 3:29pm
Not ALL families breed normal kids. In all societies the world over in ''normal'' families, rape, incest, wife beating etc exist. I would even say that ''normal'' families are a utopia.
We are too far from peace with our lives. This is the reason. I think it is impossible for man to live his selfishness and retain his happiness and progress? Don't you agree, Robert?
