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A SMILING DAWN
A SMILING DAWN
The early morn exhales its breeze;
the sun is peeping from its bed.
Its sleepy face is like a child
who starts to raise its covered head.
I smile and welcome its soft look
that is so eager to greet me
as l with all the trees nearby
are such old friends dawn likes to see.
The rising face feels quite secure
as he sees those familiar crowds.
He sends his rays so nice and warm
and throws the blanket of white clouds.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
The early morn exhales its breeze;
the sun is peeping from its bed.
Its sleepy face is like a child
who starts to raise its covered head.
I smile and welcome its soft look
that is so eager to greet me
as l with all the trees nearby
are such old friends dawn likes to see.
The rising face feels quite secure
as he sees those familiar crowds.
He sends his rays so nice and warm
and throws the blanket of white clouds.
BY JOSEPH ZENIEH
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
____________________________________
Published 5th Jun 2020
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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"He sends his rays so nice and warm
and throws the banket of white clouds."
A "banket" is a pastry. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banket_(pastry] Did you mean "blanket"? If so, even if the phrase "the blanket of white clouds" were not a (deictic) cliche and your post did not suffer for the use of it, is throwing clouds something that the sun does? And wouldn't its doing so obstruct the sun's doing what he, according to you, wants to do -- to send his "so nice and warm" rays upon his "friends"?
and throws the banket of white clouds."
A "banket" is a pastry. [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banket_(pastry] Did you mean "blanket"? If so, even if the phrase "the blanket of white clouds" were not a (deictic) cliche and your post did not suffer for the use of it, is throwing clouds something that the sun does? And wouldn't its doing so obstruct the sun's doing what he, according to you, wants to do -- to send his "so nice and warm" rays upon his "friends"?
5th Jun 2020 10:43pm
Then why didn't you proofread your text?
In any case, do you doubt not only that "the blanket of clouds" is deictic, but that it's a cliche? And do you doubt that the sun does not throw clouds and that if it did, it would defeat its intent to shine on crowds?
BTW, when did a stand of trees become several ".. large group[s] of people who have gathered together to do something" (https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/crowd)?
It looks like you have once again sacrificed and mangled sense on the altar of rhyme.
In any case, do you doubt not only that "the blanket of clouds" is deictic, but that it's a cliche? And do you doubt that the sun does not throw clouds and that if it did, it would defeat its intent to shine on crowds?
BTW, when did a stand of trees become several ".. large group[s] of people who have gathered together to do something" (https://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/crowd)?
It looks like you have once again sacrificed and mangled sense on the altar of rhyme.
5th Jun 2020 10:43pm
Oh Sun!
Oh Sun!
You make my summers
so much fun.
You light the day,
take rain away,
make grasses grow,
fast melt the snow,
fill full the grape,
shine on the lake.
There’s no one like you,
none.
For me
you’re always # 1!
Oh Sun!
Oh Sun!
You make my summers
so much fun.
You light the day,
take rain away,
make grasses grow,
fast melt the snow,
fill full the grape,
shine on the lake.
There’s no one like you,
none.
For me
you’re always # 1!
Oh Sun!
