Kintsugi

There's a japanese art,
It's defined as precious scars,
Gold filled and intertwined in the cracks of a broken vase.
Looking at a thousand shards
As a whole piece from afar,
But it needs love and patience to fix and mend it's fragile parts.

Kintsugi is it's name
Complete depiction that there's no shame
In making mistakes
And getting it wrong
And having to start over again.
Instead of hiding these cracks
I'll highlight unjoined gaps,
With gold so my soul can shine through past pitch black.

Without raising my girls alone
I'd never have known patience
If I hadn't of done it on my own
I wouldn't have my independence
Without the strife and hurt from life,
The trials and tribulations,
Would I appreciate the things I've built,
My deep and strong foundations?

If there were no trying times
Inside of my own mind
Would I know who I am,
Definition defined,
Complicated and challenging,
Empathetic but angry,
Determined, ambitious,
and yet scared like a child.
Builder's tea and yet mild,
A contradiction of sorts,
Want to pick 5 things for dinner but my belly's too full,
This is food for my soul,
Relinquishing my past's hold,
Taking positive from negative,
Banging in and scoring goals.

Appreciating every moment and breath that I've been given,
Memento mori,
I have one life and it is for living,
Squeezing the essence through my fingers,
Until the drips run dry,
Picturing the greatest show reel as I shut my eyes and die.

Being aware of others,
Respecting fragility in all its forms.
In this age of perfection with misdirection now the norm.
Seeing just how easy someone else's vase can then break,
Unique shapes that we are moulding and trying to create,
And yet other's can't take,
Like we are a mistake,
That the star must fit in the circle hole,
It has to reshape.

As if the thought if being different
and not knowing the path to choose,
Must summarise in many eyes
That you aren't worth the time to lose.

And to them I say Fuck You. .

I walk in these two shoes,
Internal war we battle through,
My broken vases I salute.

You shine like vivid light,
The vein of gold it runs so bright,
Illuminating past the porcelain
And deep into the night.