deepundergroundpoetry.com
Loving Words
You make me smile,
like a cool summer's day;
Like the laughter of children
as they frolic and play
You make me laugh,
with your delectable witticism;
Such a dazzling smile could
Erase any trace of my cynicism
You make me feel ,
with your tender caress;
your radiant heart
never fails to impress
When you are joyful
There's a light in your eyes
That could brighten the world
As the sun in the sky...
But when you are down
The whole world feels your pain,
Like a little black cloud
That brings in the rain
Oh, and when you are weary
and your smile is amiss,
When you're in need of a hug
Or long for a kiss...
just call my name and I'll be there
to show you I love you;
I still care
like a cool summer's day;
Like the laughter of children
as they frolic and play
You make me laugh,
with your delectable witticism;
Such a dazzling smile could
Erase any trace of my cynicism
You make me feel ,
with your tender caress;
your radiant heart
never fails to impress
When you are joyful
There's a light in your eyes
That could brighten the world
As the sun in the sky...
But when you are down
The whole world feels your pain,
Like a little black cloud
That brings in the rain
Oh, and when you are weary
and your smile is amiss,
When you're in need of a hug
Or long for a kiss...
just call my name and I'll be there
to show you I love you;
I still care
Author's Note
I couldn't come up with a good title for this one, so I finally just settled on loving words because of the dual meaning :)
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 25
reading list entries 7
comments 40
reads 908
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. Loving Words
15th Dec 2019 1:47am
You have a beautiful, romantic heart. ❤
I really liked this, NewBeginnings.
Never stop writing. 🌹
I really liked this, NewBeginnings.
Never stop writing. 🌹
1
Re: Re. Loving Words
Re: Re. Loving Words
15th Dec 2019 6:32pm
Re: Re. Loving Words
15th Dec 2019 8:38pm
Re. Loving Words
15th Dec 2019 6:43am
Well done and perfect choice for the title. Many might have resigned to using "I still care" as the title but that wouldn't have matched the whole piece.
1
Re: Re. Loving Words
15th Dec 2019 6:22pm
Thanks your your kind compliments, Russell. I enjoy the writing as well! I did consider that at one point, but like you said, it didn't fit the whole piece, and would have revealed the finale at the beginning rather than the end :)
Re. Loving Words
Anonymous
15th Dec 2019 11:40am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. Loving Words
15th Dec 2019 8:39pm
Re. Loving Words
15th Dec 2019 1:31pm
Re: Re. Loving Words
15th Dec 2019 8:43pm
Re: Re. Loving Words
15th Dec 2019 8:42pm
Re. Loving Words
16th Dec 2019 1:21am
Such a deep affection came up with words. That's a beautiful love that never dies when you are in love.
Jasmine
Jasmine
0
Re: Re. Loving Words
16th Dec 2019 4:26am
Thank you for your input, Jasmine. I am glad that you can feel that love I was feeling when I wrote this one... :)
Re. Loving Words
17th Dec 2019 2:16am
Re: Re. Loving Words
17th Dec 2019 7:15am
I am so glad that you think so! I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment - it means a lot. I am honored by your RL entry :)
Re. Loving Words
17th Dec 2019 11:00am
Re: Re. Loving Words
17th Dec 2019 10:42pm
Re. Loving Words
17th Dec 2019 9:24pm
Re: Re. Loving Words
17th Dec 2019 10:43pm
That's an awesome compliment! Thank you so much! I am very pleased to hear that you enjoyed it so much. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment :)
Re. Loving Words
18th Dec 2019 5:39am
Re: Re. Loving Words
21st Dec 2019 2:12am
Thanks so much for that uplifting comment, man! I appreciate you coming by to read some of my poetry.
Re. Loving Words
19th Dec 2019 4:56pm
This has such loving energy flowing throughout, well constructed meter that has great fluidity. Unity and proportion grants the whole a graceful elegance. Namaste.
1
Re: Re. Loving Words
21st Dec 2019 2:14am
I appreciate your thorough analysis, Daniel! Thanks for your continued readership and support 👃
Re. Loving Words
Anonymous
22nd Dec 2019 2:02am
Hey NB......what an outstanding tribute of admiration.......beautiful soul touching ink......enjoyed much.......purple luv & hugs xo :)
1
Re: Re. Loving Words
23rd Dec 2019 3:47am
I'm so glad that you were touched by my words, flowergirl. Thanks so much for your love and support!!
Re. Loving Words
22nd Dec 2019 2:47am
Re: Re. Loving Words
23rd Dec 2019 3:48am
Thank you so much for that, Noire!
I'm happy that you decided to drop by :)
I'm happy that you decided to drop by :)
Re. Loving Words
22nd Dec 2019 5:37am
I could feel everything you wrote into this piece
And sometimes titles just get in the way and mislead
But this meat and potatoes magnificence stands strongly and beautifully on its own legs
Really good ink
And sometimes titles just get in the way and mislead
But this meat and potatoes magnificence stands strongly and beautifully on its own legs
Really good ink
1
Re: Re. Loving Words
23rd Dec 2019 11:02am
Hey FB300,
Thank you for your continued support...
I'm so glad that you FEEL me here, because I pour my heart into my writing. I really appreciate you stopping by again :)
Thank you for your continued support...
I'm so glad that you FEEL me here, because I pour my heart into my writing. I really appreciate you stopping by again :)
Re. Loving Words
22nd Dec 2019 9:14pm
Re: Re. Loving Words
23rd Dec 2019 10:59am
Thanks for expressing your sentiment, D C. Your kind words are truly appreciated!
Re. Loving Words
22nd Dec 2019 10:53pm
A heartfelt piece. I think one of the most important criteria of choosing a lover for me is their ability to make make me laugh, particularly at myself:)
1
Re: Re. Loving Words
23rd Dec 2019 11:00am
I'm so happy that you felt some of the emotion that I put into it. Humor is always high on my list at well :)
Re. Loving Words
25th Dec 2019 9:43am
Favourite verse - the first, for the 'laughter of children' reference. Some couples might imaginatively insert 'our' before the children to apply the poem to themselves.
1
Re: Re. Loving Words
3rd Jan 2020 2:07am
Thank you, Solomon, for your readership. I am pleased that you enjoyed my poem :)
Re. Loving Words
1st Jan 2020 11:51am
There is tenderness and clarity in your poetry that makes the readers love and stick to it.
1
Re: Re. Loving Words
3rd Jan 2020 2:08am
Anonymous
- Edited 2nd Feb 2020 11:45am
4th Jan 2020 8:47pm
<< post removed >>
Re. Loving Words
6th Jan 2020 12:11pm
A loving weave of words. One thing comes to mind - the capitalisation of the first word in each line seems to be inconsistent, although I might be mistaken.
SeaCat.
SeaCat.
0