Creaky 3am

Slowly I open my eyes
My lungs in my throat
My blankets tethering me
To this physical plane
The taste of sleep heavy
In my much too small mouth
I lay there for minutes
The questioning of why
Heavy in my sleep fogged head
Why am I awake again?
At three in the morning
The creaks of my body
The sounds of my bed
As I toss and I turn pulling
At the blankets that tether
What I wouldn't give for more
Than a fistful of hours
A mouthful of dreams
I crave my well rested mind
I yearn for the mornings
Of when my body doesn't ache
But inside I'm fighting with this
Heaviness in my soul, an ache
I don't know how to describe
It's a person shaped hole
My needy hands explore
Again and again with my sleepy eyes
I look at the spot beside me
Wondering, ever wondering
What you're doing at three in the morning