Failure

Tears fall as I try to understand why.
Why has my body denied me.
Why my body has failed.
Why my body hates me.

Everyone around me, it seems, is having babies. While for a year I’ve done nothing but try and try, just to fail each and every time.

I’ve done everything right. I’ve given myself the very best chances, yet, it wasn’t enough. My body is not good enough.

I denied fate, calling her a liar. I am meant to have a baby. I gave in to the false hope as I pushed fate away.

Today, I accepted her. Today my eyes burn with the reality, as the tears continue falling. Today my heart aches as I finally welcome fate with heavy arms.

You win. I give up. Just take this pain away. I won’t play into false hope again, I’m a failure as a woman.