deepundergroundpoetry.com
fragile
you're noticeably missing
I feel I'm to blame with my callousness
massaging your ache I take it into me
it becomes mine--
I cradle it to me, my child of pain,
feel me surrender to you utterly
caressing the storm that is your intellect
addressing your internal conflicts
I know you love me...love to hate me I make it so easy
but still underneath you can't help but be soft for me
fragile...you think I don't see?
bending to my will
wondering
when
when I will just listen to what you're really saying
conflicted feeling assault me
I'm crying on the inside...breaking down
yeah, I love you too...
this hurts more than I show
your pain is my own child
I cry tears of the forlorn
until we resolve our differences
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likes 17
reading list entries 2
comments 26
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. fragile
Anonymous
3rd Oct 2019 10:06am
😢
1
Anonymous
- Edited 3rd Dec 2019 3:45pm
3rd Oct 2019 1:52pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. fragile
3rd Oct 2019 4:08pm
Re. fragile
3rd Oct 2019 4:42pm
The emotion here is so engaging, overwhelming, a watershed. Your pain is my own child is a powerful image. Where you say,
fragile...you think I don't see?
bending to my will wondering when
when I will just listen to what you're really saying
I might add a comma before and after, wondering or split it off like this
fragile...you think I don't see?
bending to my will
wondering
when
when I will just listen to what you're really saying
Pauses lend wonderful emphasis.
Terrific spill Brenda, leaving your heart on the page like this. <3
fragile...you think I don't see?
bending to my will wondering when
when I will just listen to what you're really saying
I might add a comma before and after, wondering or split it off like this
fragile...you think I don't see?
bending to my will
wondering
when
when I will just listen to what you're really saying
Pauses lend wonderful emphasis.
Terrific spill Brenda, leaving your heart on the page like this. <3
1
Re: Re. fragile
3rd Oct 2019 5:16pm
thank you graciously dearest Daniel for such an awesome critique... I used your suggestions and I agree with you it's much better now admittedly that part was bothering me...your thoughts are deeply appreciated...
love Brenda ❤
love Brenda ❤
Re. fragile
3rd Oct 2019 5:08pm
Re: Re. fragile
3rd Oct 2019 5:16pm
Re. fragile
3rd Oct 2019 6:13pm
So...
Why do we hurt the ones we love??
But I applaud your ownership of the pain you create
Many, sadly, do not
Why do we hurt the ones we love??
But I applaud your ownership of the pain you create
Many, sadly, do not
1
Re: Re. fragile
3rd Oct 2019 6:31pm
that's a good question...with too many answers that aren't really good enough...thank you dearest poet for sharing your thoughts here you're deeply appreciated...
love Brenda ❤
love Brenda ❤
Re. fragile
3rd Oct 2019 7:46pm
We can seem unaffected, strong and together when in fact we are as fragile as ashes on the inside. I hope the conflict is short lived and forever forgotten. Thank you Brenda for this lovely spill. For some reason I associate the feels of this piece to the sound of a cooing Mourning Dove. It had that feel drifting faintly throughout and then you knocked home with use of forlorn. You are so adept at conveying strong feelings without too many words. I really struggle with using too many words. It's so nice to be part of a community where I am surrounded by brilliant poets and their work. I love DUP! And you too Benda! 💞
-Minxy❣
-Minxy❣
1
Re: Re. fragile
4th Oct 2019 11:03pm
thank you graciously beautiful Minxy One for such a beautiful comment...you have such a lovely voice I wouldn't change a thing...I deeply appreciate the love you've shown me...
love Brenda 🌹
love Brenda 🌹
Re. fragile
3rd Oct 2019 9:51pm
Re: Re. fragile
4th Oct 2019 11:05pm
thank you graciously dearest Joe you ain't never lied about that...I deeply appreciate your reading in between the lines...
love Brenda ❤
love Brenda ❤
Re. fragile
4th Oct 2019 1:51am
Sometimes our differences cause pain that isn't anyone's fault. I can feel the anguish in this. You're a brave and generous soul to take on another's pain as your own.
1
Re: Re. fragile
4th Oct 2019 11:06pm
thank you graciously beautiful poetess for such a loving comment...
love Brenda 💕
love Brenda 💕
Re. fragile
4th Oct 2019 4:56am
Yah Neh, I feel this one crushing all over me....
Reminds of evanescence-missing.
Only this song has gave me this sinking feeling this poem gave me....
Heavy ink
Reminds of evanescence-missing.
Only this song has gave me this sinking feeling this poem gave me....
Heavy ink
1
Re: Re. fragile
4th Oct 2019 11:07pm
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Oct 2019 5:45am
4th Oct 2019 12:05pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. fragile
4th Oct 2019 11:08pm
Re. fragile
4th Oct 2019 2:13pm
Dear B,
This reads like a love letter. It’s so lovingly apologetic and owning your own behavior is so important in resolving situations. You are such a loving person with an abundance of talent. I love how you spill this into pieces so relatable to everyone. Sad yet beautifully done. H🌷
This reads like a love letter. It’s so lovingly apologetic and owning your own behavior is so important in resolving situations. You are such a loving person with an abundance of talent. I love how you spill this into pieces so relatable to everyone. Sad yet beautifully done. H🌷
1
Re: Re. fragile
4th Oct 2019 11:09pm
thank you beautiful Honoria you're right this is a love letter... I deeply appreciate the love you show me lovely one...
love Brenda 💕
love Brenda 💕
Re. fragile
4th Oct 2019 11:41pm
Re: Re. fragile
5th Oct 2019 00:05am
thank you graciously dearest Harry I deeply appreciate your thoughts...
love Brenda ❤
love Brenda ❤
Anonymous
- Edited 22nd Feb 2020 10:45am
6th Oct 2019 1:56pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. fragile
6th Oct 2019 1:57pm
aw thank you graciously dearest poet I look forward to reading you welcome to DU...
love Brenda 🌹
love Brenda 🌹