deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dissociated
I don't even feel as if I’m sitting here
Zoned out in a dissociative state
Feeling so unwanted by the world
Stuck inside, no, I don’t feel okay
One singular human, that’s all I get
To wait all day, just one to wait on
Waiting for you all day, I just can’t take…
I can’t take this anymore, all this going on
I feel like a phony, stealing away time
Time that belongs to others who live
Who actually can provide, others...
Who may even have something to give
So i sit here silently, breathing silently
Whispers in my head, needing silence
But I can’t release it, going to need it
To keep me company, keep my sense
“You have too much going on”
Says another someone, who has it all
They have the outside, they have each other…
I just have these four walls...
Zoned out in a dissociative state
Feeling so unwanted by the world
Stuck inside, no, I don’t feel okay
One singular human, that’s all I get
To wait all day, just one to wait on
Waiting for you all day, I just can’t take…
I can’t take this anymore, all this going on
I feel like a phony, stealing away time
Time that belongs to others who live
Who actually can provide, others...
Who may even have something to give
So i sit here silently, breathing silently
Whispers in my head, needing silence
But I can’t release it, going to need it
To keep me company, keep my sense
“You have too much going on”
Says another someone, who has it all
They have the outside, they have each other…
I just have these four walls...
Author's Note
Being homebound by disability, and only knowing the one human you live with.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Re. Dissociated
Anonymous
16th Mar 2019 8:05pm
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 2:42am
Re. Dissociated
16th Mar 2019 8:37pm
I'm plagued with a different disability & not truly homebound unless I'm sick or recovering from something...which is all the damn time. I see so many walls I could paint them a new color each week. I gotcha girl.;) Hugs my soul sister
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 2:42am
Re. Dissociated
16th Mar 2019 8:45pm
Welcome to this world. We are all plagued by different scenarios, and at times constraining loneliness, but you being here will shine a light and touch someone else when you compose in such honesty. Four walls can be tough, but let imagination carry you anywhere.
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 2:43am
I particularly enjoyed this comment, this perspective. Thank you so much for sharing it with me, and for the read :)
Re. Dissociated
16th Mar 2019 9:00pm
I am homebound too, between four walls. So I think I know the feeling. In any case, this is a powerful, personal write. Well done!
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 2:43am
Re. Dissociated
16th Mar 2019 9:14pm
I get this brooding piece and identify with it.
Welcome to our swamp and your fellow travelers...
Welcome to our swamp and your fellow travelers...
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 2:44am
Thank you so much, I was deep off when writing it :P thank you for the reads, kudos❤️
Re. Dissociated
16th Mar 2019 9:15pm
Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 2:45am
I knew someone would. Thanks for the reads, and always the kind words, kudos❤️
Re. Dissociated
Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 2:45am
Thank you, FeNyX. And for the read, your words are always so greatly appreciated :)
Re. Dissociated
Anonymous
16th Mar 2019 11:45pm
After reading your words out loud as I like to do with poetry I was taken by the depth I could feel in your words and on reading your author's note followed by another read of the poem I was shown another layer to your words.
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 2:46am
I second guessed the author’s note but. Felt it’s only right to show my neck. Thank you so much for the read, and the understanding, kudos❤️
Re. Dissociated
Anonymous
17th Mar 2019 2:41am
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 2:47am
Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 2:59am
So so relatable 👏👏
"I just have these four walls"
I know the feeling
and so do my parents all to well
it can definitely be hell at times
and sometimes so serenely sublime
I find being in nature and consuming copious amounts of cannabis helps me lol as well as music and poetry which combined all together takes me to heaven
Love this piece Liv!
Fantastic 👏
"I just have these four walls"
I know the feeling
and so do my parents all to well
it can definitely be hell at times
and sometimes so serenely sublime
I find being in nature and consuming copious amounts of cannabis helps me lol as well as music and poetry which combined all together takes me to heaven
Love this piece Liv!
Fantastic 👏
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 3:00am
COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF CANNIBIS, god you’re my f’g spirit animal, Hunterapsych! It’s not always so bad, my own little world between these walls.
Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 4:41am
This is so relatable. I have definitely felt the emotions you express, as I'm sure so many others have so even though it may seem that way, you're never truly alone!
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 4:49am
Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 4:45am
"I feel like a phony, stealing away time
Time that belongs to others who live"
I feel you. Beautifully written.
Time that belongs to others who live"
I feel you. Beautifully written.
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 4:49am
Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 9:01am
There’s a harp in my heart and every string has been plucked by this 😢 this is the first piece of writing I’ve read in a long time that’s made me feel something quite deeply. It opens up a world of questions about you and how much of your writing really reflects the true nature of your life. We as a species are very adaptable, which can go both ways, we can adapt to our situations, accept what is and carry on like this or however long, or we can change things, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse... Now I am nothing special, I’m just a total rando to be fair, though I there is anything I can do, or if you ever need someone to speak to, I’m only an inbox away xx
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 9:22am
Oh this is the sweetest thing❤️ You’ve warmed my heart, LadyLaura. You have no idea how much room the DU has added to my four walls! Thank you so much for this comment, so much kudos, always!
Anonymous
- Edited 21st Oct 2019 5:45am
17th Mar 2019 6:06pm
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Re: Re. Dissociated
17th Mar 2019 6:37pm
Aww thank you, I sure hope so. I’d actually only written two of the poems I’ve posted before finding this lovely site. It’s brought about great things for sure!