Sealed in Time

Now my days start with one thought
that sometime soon we'll be caught

Living this terrible way
convincing myself i have no say
When I found out you have a wife
I realized I'm not your everything, not your life
Everything has become a safety issue
driving me to need so much more than a tissue

Drugs to quiet my conscience
my guilt grows in defiance
Why am I doing this to myself, to you
when, already, I know this forever isn't true
It's inevitable, this has an end
I feel it, like a change in the wind
Something you can feel, not see
the beginning of the end I flee
To a place in the mind
where I can unwind
I let the sweet denial sink in
creating a story, a tale I spin
To distract me from the awaiting self-inflicted pain
writing everything down won't help my case, zero personal gain

Getting myself here
trying not to shed a tear
Nothing I say could justify this
so, my sweet, please end it and leave me to my bliss
My bliss would be your hell
the fire, so real, the burning smell
This bliss is different than yours
I'll be paying for opening these doors
My bliss would be knowing I'll pay for my crimes
injustices against love even though there were good times
The beautiful moments never outweigh my crime against love
because no matter how I love,  this isn't something I'd approve of
Having exceptional morals is something I've always prided myself on
and now I question myself because it was me he didn't have to con
A sneaking suspicion but facts I didn't have
didn't know love splits into two halves
Didn't know being loved would bring me guilt
our love will not erase what they've built

They built a fountain, stone by stone
creating a life, a home, putting into it blood and bone
A struggle each and everyday
but no matter what they chose to stay
Now there's me
how can this be
That I could get in between their tie
and now almost everything he tells her is a lie
Chains I should be in
punishment for committing this sin
I'm the fire to their home
because he made the choice to roam
I, too, am burned and left in ashes
leftover embers flicker with flashes
Now, showing the look on your face
when you're suggesting time and space

Even with space
it will not erase
What we did, what we had
always the good, faithful one, never bad
My soul feels empty now that I know
my heart has suffered this blow
Minuscule to how she must feel
her world; destroyed, does she even know what's real
A million things in my head, yet, only a second has gone by
and somehow throughout this my eyes have stayed dry
He says how his heart will bruise
how I wish he didn't have to choose


"My feelings for you haven't changed
in fact, sometimes leave me feeling deranged.
But soul of my soul, I made a vow
please, one day, forgive me wouldst thou?
My intentions were never to drag this on
but I've never been more brains than brawn.
Never thought I could love anyone other than my wife
never meant to hurt you, I swear on my life.
You have a beautiful heart, like that of a saint
remember the love we had, your heart , don't let hate taint.
One day, I hope you understand
that this was never something I planned."

And with one last kiss, sealed in time
Knowing what I know my heart rate continues to climb
One hand resting where my shoulder and neck meet
the other caressing my cheek, I feel every single heartbeat
My forehead against his, he's all I feel, all I hear
wrenching himself from me, he walks away, making things clear
Stopping short of his car, a coughing fit ensues
after a minute or two , it doesn't defuse
He collapsed and I assumed the worst
i ran to him, something inside me burst

Unconditional love is knowing what he's done
and it not changing a thing because he's still my one.....