WITH WHOM DO YOU DARE TO BARE?

(Imagined rhyming answers to imagined survey.)

I once thought nothing of baring my all
When I shared bath times with children then small
But this innocent practice went out of use
Because of the great fear of child sex abuse.

Just my boyfriend
Sees my pudend.

I only go au naturel
When I’m with people I trust well
Not to go telling tales out of school
About my love handles and my ‘tool’!


The only person with whom I dare bare
Is the one with whom I have an affair.

Only with my lover
Do I dare uncover.


I only go as God intended
With those whom fences are kept mended.
Those with whom I’ve fallen out
Won’t see me without a clout.


I’ve an exclusive thing going with my Roger;
I’m the only one allowed to see his todger.
In return he's the only one allowed to see
My underwearless feminine anatomy.

When it was just me and my spouse
I went naked around our house.
Then when the children came along
I covered up – I wear a thong.
Well, when the kids run around in nappies
It’s the equivalent for us chappies!


I only went without a clout
With those with whom I did go out.
I still go naked round the house
In the presence of but my spouse
But cover up my anatomy
When we have our folks around for tea.