Haven't been doing so well

God forgive me for I have sinned
Lord forgive me for all I have done
Father forgive me for my evil skin
Jesus forgive me for coming undone
I have forgotten where I am from.
Have I forgotten the only way home?
Can I forgive myself? Must I?
Even if I can't betray the need to not be alive?

What am I suppose to do now?
I've done nothing more than let us down.

Lord can you hear I'll scream and I'll shout?
"Jesus can you hear me I'm trapped, I need OUT!"

Where are we falling-is it forever?
Can I in this moment call you to get better?
What if it's the same as always
I tend to forget Jesus anyway..
Why do I hurt him and make him believe
That I serve him and bow at his feet.
truth is I'm scared
throughout this whole battle he's done nothing but cared .

But I can't feel him-caused by myself
How can I believe I'm not going to hell?
I really believe I have been saved
Right now I look away-never face to face.
I pray he won't turn around and leave me in disgrace.
Times are ending its very close away..
I continue to leave him in disarray

God despite my wickedness which allowed these demons in..
I beg you Father, Son, Holy Ghost- forgive me of my sins.