deepundergroundpoetry.com

My Darkest Days

�
I don't like to remember those days �
trembling as I write this �
losing my faith on this wild ride �
drugs the keys to my locked soul �
�
demons broke in raping my being �
I reached with my mind to the furthest �
places in space I lay myself at God's footstool �
seeking peace from the voices I was hearing �
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looking for solace from the visions I was seeing �
legion circling about me pushing in on me �
biting, scratching strangling my person �
I saw a vision of Lucifer and God as one being �
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The God head turning it's back on me �
giving me over to Lucifer to be his wife �
told that there were fallen angels walking among us �
men and women with powers of persuasion �
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feeling them so cruelly feasting from me �
making me lose my mind �
getting aggressive with my family members �
felt the power in the house escalating like I could explode �
�
the cops were called �
family terrified of me �
taken to the hospital for evaluation �
poison dripping in my veins �
�
hearing a alien language singing �
chained to the bed, four point restraints �
my demons struggling not liking to be tied down �
pissing on myself the guards too afraid to let me up �
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if there was a portal to hell I had entered it �
at some point I blacked out �
to awaken in the psych ward �
sulfur blasting the patients as I walked by �
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they could smell it remarking what is that odor �
the docs decided it was in my best interest �
to kick methadone a synthetic opium �
I thought my doctor Hitler the creator of this shackling drug �
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I lost weeks of memory while there �
drugged enough to keep an elephant down �
still my body stayed animated �
fighting with the guards not remembering �
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just to awaken with bruises up and down my arms �
the most intimidating of men were afraid of me �
as I paced my perimeter �
speaking a foreign language �
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my demons casting black magic �
technology messing up while I was there �
getting locked up in the padded room �
not knowing my infraction �
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my memory coming and going �
screaming at the walls I don't belong here �
no one came, no one listened �
was the most terrifying and painful time of my life �
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I can't even begin to explain the visions I saw �
what I experienced I'm now on heavy meds �
still my demons rise to the surface �
I'm methadone free there's that �
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if there is a light to the end of this tunnel �
I'm left with too many questions as to why me �
to embrace my faith again �
shortly after getting out of the hospital �
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I stumbled upon du I don't even remember how �
for now I write my experiences it seems to �
keep my demons from hurting me �
I've stayed out of the psych ward �
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for the moment I'm safe �
grateful not to be suffocating �
on the disinfectant of my plastic bed �
i'm thankful my mind is working �
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I hate my meds but whatever they are �
wards, talisman they seem to keep things �
at the gate to say the least �
my darkest days behind me �
�
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(for Grace's Dwelling In the Dark Places Comp.)