10 seconds to nowhere

At 10 I see the beauty
Of a Californian sunset,
Falling amongst the clouds,
Concealing its love for the moon.

At 9 I study day and night
To keep my grades up,
And determined to succeed,
I sacrifice society.

At 8 I fell for a somebody,
Who I loathed and loved all this time,
But in return showed no love,
Just an intent to hurt and leave me,

At 7 I met another guy,
Who loved me whole like no other
But whom in return I started to loathe,
Seeing as this love is as fake as us.

At 6 my grades are down to nowhere,
The world I knew I've left and lost,
Now I don't even care,
Now I don't even speak.

At 5 i wake up in the middle of the night
Crying.

At 4 I make it out of school,
Barely, but out.

At 3 I run away
With my backpack full of
Books, music, clothes, memories ,
Not knowing where to go.

At 2 I learn that the outside
Isn't as pretty as you thought it was,

At 1 I walk down the city streets,
Facing the fact
That after all this time,
I'm heading nowhere.