deepundergroundpoetry.com
Dead-End Alley
"The end is disgusting," she says, remembering them,
pinched faces in NOLA, grey with wayward inevitability.
No words illuminate this dead-end alley called humanism.
Layered scars blurred their aspirant tattoos,
permanent ink on fleeting lives. "We have a gig tonight!"
Smack needles outranked numen this side of Seventh Ward.
The tracks marked the finish — all points due south.
Death calls shotgun and navigates, every time.
Maps inscribed black on black, but - damn! - the music was good.
Published 28th Apr 2014
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The author encourages honest critique.
28th Apr 2014 10:35pm
Atakti
'Dead end alley' there's an air of bleak about this piece that reminds me of Dickens, though there's also the Chinese puzzle effect that you have mastered ..or I need to come back after some cups of tea and read it again
at first glance, it reads like three clever stanzas layered upon each other, there is a connection I'm sure, but I think it may take me a couple of reads to decipher this one properly (don't go giving it away, it's half the fun working it out)
something of substance for me to chew on, I like this, good stiff Missus, shine on :)
'Dead end alley' there's an air of bleak about this piece that reminds me of Dickens, though there's also the Chinese puzzle effect that you have mastered ..or I need to come back after some cups of tea and read it again
at first glance, it reads like three clever stanzas layered upon each other, there is a connection I'm sure, but I think it may take me a couple of reads to decipher this one properly (don't go giving it away, it's half the fun working it out)
something of substance for me to chew on, I like this, good stiff Missus, shine on :)
28th Apr 2014 10:39pm
Oh, I just re-read it - it could be a bit of a puzzle, except I left some BIG clues. Happy detecting!
Thank you for stumbling past, here's a cuppa to get you going.
Thank you for stumbling past, here's a cuppa to get you going.
i love the phrase "aspirant tattoos" mam.
i found this very consistent in language which makes things roll for me with a hip hop background.
and you had me at NOLA lady....
well done mrs. A
i found this very consistent in language which makes things roll for me with a hip hop background.
and you had me at NOLA lady....
well done mrs. A
29th Apr 2014 12:05pm
Thanks, jr, I have a feeling you know where my head was at...
Pleased you stopped by!
Pleased you stopped by!
30th Apr 2014 5:46am
The tracks marked the finish - all points due south
Damn, you weren't kidding about dark...
You went real deep with this one, and the line about the dead end alley of humanism had me chuckling. Dark, lovely and such a smooth flow I was at the end before I knew it, just like Sade lol
Damn, you weren't kidding about dark...
You went real deep with this one, and the line about the dead end alley of humanism had me chuckling. Dark, lovely and such a smooth flow I was at the end before I knew it, just like Sade lol
30th Apr 2014 5:57am
Dys, I'm delighted to see you here. You spotted that humnism line, eh? *grin* I got a dark kick writing that...
Thank you for your gnat wink! ;)
Thank you for your gnat wink! ;)
30th Apr 2014 6:51am
Nola ... Even her name speaks of a southern belle who's frock is torn and tattered as she dances to the swing of the beat ...
... Loved this Atakti ... great stark reflection on a great city
... Loved this Atakti ... great stark reflection on a great city
30th Apr 2014 1:33pm
Lobo, what a lyrical description of Nola, I like it.
Here's the thing, I've never been. This is my impression of the city from hearing the stories of those who lived there.
Thanks so much for your kind thoughts!
Here's the thing, I've never been. This is my impression of the city from hearing the stories of those who lived there.
Thanks so much for your kind thoughts!
2nd May 2014 2:43pm
Shoeless city....
Memories of musical nights!
And some natural nightmares also
But I'm still in the south...
Beautiful atak!!
Memories of musical nights!
And some natural nightmares also
But I'm still in the south...
Beautiful atak!!
3rd May 2014 2:43pm
I'm glad I stirred some memories, Cesar! Music and nightmares, that about covers my impression of it.
Thank you.
Thank you.
