deepundergroundpoetry.com
Limerick Rake
I miss your presence
in a way I can't explain
your clever retorts
always making me laugh
though I feel a chasm between us now
one that I dare not cross
I reflect as another cigarette burns low
paranoia maybe, I don't know
though I feel a heavy feeling in my chest
pressing upon me making it difficult to breathe
enamored with you for so long my friend
the first to see me for who I truly am
with your keen observations
stood by me when I was just getting to my feet
I guess there comes a time when we must stand alone
I'm nothing more than what you see
exposed and raw on the page
hiding at times behind a façade
that you see through all so clearly
(Author's Note inspired by this song that a dear friend once passed on to me..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNCDWizqhWQ&feature=youtu.be)
in a way I can't explain
your clever retorts
always making me laugh
though I feel a chasm between us now
one that I dare not cross
I reflect as another cigarette burns low
paranoia maybe, I don't know
though I feel a heavy feeling in my chest
pressing upon me making it difficult to breathe
enamored with you for so long my friend
the first to see me for who I truly am
with your keen observations
stood by me when I was just getting to my feet
I guess there comes a time when we must stand alone
I'm nothing more than what you see
exposed and raw on the page
hiding at times behind a façade
that you see through all so clearly
(Author's Note inspired by this song that a dear friend once passed on to me..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bNCDWizqhWQ&feature=youtu.be)
Published 25th Apr 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 34
reading list entries 5
comments 61
reads 1606
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
25th Apr 2014 6:25pm
25th Apr 2014 6:31pm
25th Apr 2014 6:48pm
Wistful words, masterfully penned lovely Brenda.
I see. I know. I feel.
Love your prose
and love this lively tune
'Some say I'm foolish
Some say I'm wise ....
... in her stockings of white
.........'
I see. I know. I feel.
Love your prose
and love this lively tune
'Some say I'm foolish
Some say I'm wise ....
... in her stockings of white
.........'
25th Apr 2014 6:53pm
thank you VP for making me smile :) a lively tune from a lively fellow :) with love Brenda
25th Apr 2014 7:11pm
Felt deep Crim. A powerful write. Thank you for sharing, I truly appreciate it. :)
25th Apr 2014 7:13pm
25th Apr 2014 7:32pm
The moment, enlightening moment that challenges your feelings of what once was not questioned. Deep inside write Crim, ink beautifully
25th Apr 2014 11:52pm
Always written w/ such passion. Ruff is the edges of a day spent longing. I listen to a Pitbull - Feel This Moment ft. Christina Aguilera.. not sure if that was the correct song it lead me to.
here's one for you from a different friend.:)In this Moment - Whore
http://youtu.be/GurkREc-q4I
here's one for you from a different friend.:)In this Moment - Whore
http://youtu.be/GurkREc-q4I
25th Apr 2014 11:54pm
thank you beautiful Angel though it was The Limerick Rake by The Pogues.. thank you for the song by In This Moment :) wicked great ;) with love Crim
26th Apr 2014 4:04pm
I'm just sorry it took you to the wrong link beautiful Angel :) with love Crim
25th Apr 2014 7:46pm
haha, Jaysus, The Limerick rake, my favorite Pouges song
Brenda, dear Lady tá brón agum
you've put this together very well, easy to see to put some thought not to mention your heart into it. the rouge needs a stern talking to for making you feel this way
check bye in the fourth
great stuff Miss, shine on
Brenda, dear Lady tá brón agum
you've put this together very well, easy to see to put some thought not to mention your heart into it. the rouge needs a stern talking to for making you feel this way
check bye in the fourth
great stuff Miss, shine on
25th Apr 2014 11:58pm
thank you Eamonn for making me smile wide.. ah he's the greatest kind of rouge :) thank you for the heads up in the fourth.. with love and deepest respect Brenda
25th Apr 2014 7:48pm
i feel this one Brenda, some people just have a way of seeing through the mask held in place to face the world. a poignant piece from a masterful pen xo
26th Apr 2014 00:01am
thank you beautiful Kat for a gracious and insightful comment.. he was here when I first joined and helped me to my feet :) with love Brenda
Anonymous
25th Apr 2014 8:48pm
<< post removed >>
26th Apr 2014 00:02am
25th Apr 2014 8:54pm
raw emotion masterfully contained in this melencholy write of broken ties and absent friend... with love and respect.. xoxo domore
26th Apr 2014 00:03am
25th Apr 2014 10:26pm
26th Apr 2014 00:03am
26th Apr 2014 00:04am
26th Apr 2014 00:01am
26th Apr 2014 00:05am
26th Apr 2014 1:47am
26th Apr 2014 1:55am
26th Apr 2014 2:36am
.....so emotionally thick this ink is, Crim!
You always do a gorgeous job of sharing your pain. I didn't understand a word of that song though, I think my hearing is declining with age....:)
Lovely ink! Xo
You always do a gorgeous job of sharing your pain. I didn't understand a word of that song though, I think my hearing is declining with age....:)
Lovely ink! Xo
26th Apr 2014 2:43am
thank you lovely Rain.. yes it has a heavy Irish brogue but it's a favorite of mine because it was sent to me by someone I cherish :) with love Crim
Anonymous
26th Apr 2014 2:47am
Sweet Crim.....such an emotional write. Your revealing pain is so shattering my heart. You deserve so much luv given. Thank you for this breathtaking and soul searching write. Luv it when you show us YOU! So sensitive yet so strong as well. Enjoyed. Xo :)
26th Apr 2014 3:08am
thank you lovely Flower for such a beautiful heartfelt comment :) with love Crim
26th Apr 2014 4:03am
26th Apr 2014 4:11am
Anonymous
26th Apr 2014 2:20pm
That ending was amazing. I love it! Nicely penned!
26th Apr 2014 4:04pm
26th Apr 2014 6:21pm
Inspiring as always. 'The chasm you dare not cross' I feel the void. Thank you for the lesson <3
26th Apr 2014 6:30pm
26th Apr 2014 6:38pm
26th Apr 2014 7:28pm
26th Apr 2014 8:42pm
26th Apr 2014 9:04pm
thank you Hash :) yes my heart was feeling a bit paranoid when I wrote this.. with love Crim
27th Apr 2014 4:20am
I have to say Crimsin,
This is extremely personal and I truly felt everything you have said here.
I am stunned at the clarity you describe so effortlessly.
I loved this very much.
Zazzles
This is extremely personal and I truly felt everything you have said here.
I am stunned at the clarity you describe so effortlessly.
I loved this very much.
Zazzles
27th Apr 2014 4:24am
27th Apr 2014 4:25am
Anonymous
28th Apr 2014 00:42am
This is a beautiful piece and definitely worth the read. I read it three times already, and it just seems to get better. Sigh. With Respect, Devlin.
28th Apr 2014 00:52am
thank you lovely one you made me smile wide with your comment :) with respect Crim
29th Apr 2014 3:56am
The ink spilled on this piece was Great Brenda!!
Awesome read sweets!!!
Sir Lancelott
Awesome read sweets!!!
Sir Lancelott
29th Apr 2014 4:04am
29th Apr 2014 4:18am
1st May 2014 3:17am
1st May 2014 4:46pm
2nd May 2014 2:26pm
2nd May 2014 2:49pm
3rd May 2014 1:43am
A Beautiful, Emotional and very well piece. I absolutely loved these lines
"the first to see me for who I truly am
with your keen observations
stood by me when I was just getting to my feet
I guess there comes a time when we must stand alone"
<3 Jess <3
"the first to see me for who I truly am
with your keen observations
stood by me when I was just getting to my feet
I guess there comes a time when we must stand alone"
<3 Jess <3
5th May 2014 3:48pm
Anonymous
23rd Oct 2014 6:47pm
╰☆╮I cannot pick a favorite line or stanza, because this whole piece is remarkable. I really felt the emotions. Great work!╰☆╮
16th Nov 2014 9:09pm
17th Nov 2014 4:25am
17th Nov 2014 4:32am
28th Aug 2015 6:33pm
This makes me want to smoke a cigarette and I don't smoke ... well not tobacco anyway 😉
I see this poem written in the ringed stains of mahogany in bars and taverns over a millennia ... Simply beautiful
I see this poem written in the ringed stains of mahogany in bars and taverns over a millennia ... Simply beautiful
28th Aug 2015 8:45pm
