Submissions by akocz (Amanda Kocz)
POEMS AND SHORT STORIES
Poet Introduction
I write about my life experiences.
SELF POEM
Published
13th Apr 2020 4:16pm
13th Apr 2020 4:16pm
Caution
Anger is a part of danger so you better watch out
Fists clench as I scream and shout
On the verge of blacking out
Sit and calm down as I start to cry and pout
I can play the blame game all day long
And you can't tell me I'm wrong
That it's all my fault
My life has come to a halt
The things I want to do have been put on hold
Over my life I have no control
Sometimes I think life is too hard
And I become disparaged
Crazy thoughts fill my head
Like I'd be better off dead
So I think of how I'd wanna die
And I start to think...
Fists clench as I scream and shout
On the verge of blacking out
Sit and calm down as I start to cry and pout
I can play the blame game all day long
And you can't tell me I'm wrong
That it's all my fault
My life has come to a halt
The things I want to do have been put on hold
Over my life I have no control
Sometimes I think life is too hard
And I become disparaged
Crazy thoughts fill my head
Like I'd be better off dead
So I think of how I'd wanna die
And I start to think...
#anger
#depression
#LifeStruggles #frustration
#LifeStruggles #frustration
404 reads
1 Comment
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
10th Apr 2020 12:52pm
10th Apr 2020 12:52pm
Anew
Everyday is a new beginning
Waking up with a fresh start
Watching the sunrise
Breathing the fresh air
All these things so freeing
Kindred spirit anew
Something inside has risen
Like a flame has been lit
Ready to burn and singe
Feelings are mine that I can choose
Waking up with a fresh start
Watching the sunrise
Breathing the fresh air
All these things so freeing
Kindred spirit anew
Something inside has risen
Like a flame has been lit
Ready to burn and singe
Feelings are mine that I can choose
#LifeChangingMoment
387 reads
2 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
10th Apr 2020 12:47pm
10th Apr 2020 12:47pm
H.O.P.E.
Hold On Pain Ends
There is light at the end of the tunnel
Remember you never want to feel this way again
So stop digging and put down the shovel
For there is nothing left to bury
Nothing left to hide
Too broken down, too weary
These feelings I'll no longer push aside
Time to rise and conquer the fear
I'll no longer let you control me
Just keep pushing forth the end is near
I will defeat you, I will break free
There is light at the end of the tunnel
Remember you never want to feel this way again
So stop digging and put down the shovel
For there is nothing left to bury
Nothing left to hide
Too broken down, too weary
These feelings I'll no longer push aside
Time to rise and conquer the fear
I'll no longer let you control me
Just keep pushing forth the end is near
I will defeat you, I will break free
#hope
#motivational
#inspirational
385 reads
2 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
9th Apr 2020 12:42pm
9th Apr 2020 12:42pm
Clarity
As I sit here with nowhere to go
I watch the time fly right out the window
I think about life and the cards I was dealt
All the excuses I've used, the hurts I've caused and the pain I've felt
Why did I live that way, was it all in vain?
I've lost so much, but what have I gained?
Rehab after rehab yet I still relapse
It's like taking 10 steps forward and 20 steps back
Every time thinking it's gonna be different
But always end up being a little resistant
Never fully open-minded and willing
Subconsciously not knowing I'm the one I'm killing ...
I watch the time fly right out the window
I think about life and the cards I was dealt
All the excuses I've used, the hurts I've caused and the pain I've felt
Why did I live that way, was it all in vain?
I've lost so much, but what have I gained?
Rehab after rehab yet I still relapse
It's like taking 10 steps forward and 20 steps back
Every time thinking it's gonna be different
But always end up being a little resistant
Never fully open-minded and willing
Subconsciously not knowing I'm the one I'm killing ...
#addiction
#healing
447 reads
1 Comment
DRUGS POEM
Published
9th Apr 2020 12:25pm
9th Apr 2020 12:25pm
Good-Bye Heroin
You've been with me half my life
Been so close could call you my wife
Thank you for all you've gotten me through
But I hate everything you make me do for you
All the guilt, shame, and anger
Always putting myself in danger
I hate you and all that you stand for
Time for me to head towards the door
For this is it my good-bye
Because I no longer want to die
Been so close could call you my wife
Thank you for all you've gotten me through
But I hate everything you make me do for you
All the guilt, shame, and anger
Always putting myself in danger
I hate you and all that you stand for
Time for me to head towards the door
For this is it my good-bye
Because I no longer want to die
#drugs
#heroin
#addiction
785 reads
1 Comment
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
17th Mar 2020 7:42pm
17th Mar 2020 7:42pm
Glorious
Women
We are gentle
We are kind
We are love
We were made in
His image from up above
We struggle
We work
We fight
We speak and stand up
For what's right
We are beautiful
We are fierce
We are flawed
We deserve some praise
So kindly applaud
We are fighters
We are warriors
We are providers
We've been through hell and back
We are survivors
Like an eagle we are meant to soar
We are women hear us roar
We are gentle
We are kind
We are love
We were made in
His image from up above
We struggle
We work
We fight
We speak and stand up
For what's right
We are beautiful
We are fierce
We are flawed
We deserve some praise
So kindly applaud
We are fighters
We are warriors
We are providers
We've been through hell and back
We are survivors
Like an eagle we are meant to soar
We are women hear us roar
#women
#inspirational
539 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
15th Mar 2020 2:30pm
15th Mar 2020 2:30pm
Relapse
Once again I find myself in hell
I ask myself how 'cuz I was doing so well
My relapse happened so fast with just a thought
Why didn't I reach out or use the tools I was taught
I understand that picking up that day was my choice
I impulsively gave in to that screaming little voice
I said "just one time and I'll be fine"
Subconsciously knowing that was a lie
So I used even knowing where it would lead me
But it's a disease and that's part of the insanity
Sure life can be tough, but when will enough be enough
But thankfully I'm still here and...
I ask myself how 'cuz I was doing so well
My relapse happened so fast with just a thought
Why didn't I reach out or use the tools I was taught
I understand that picking up that day was my choice
I impulsively gave in to that screaming little voice
I said "just one time and I'll be fine"
Subconsciously knowing that was a lie
So I used even knowing where it would lead me
But it's a disease and that's part of the insanity
Sure life can be tough, but when will enough be enough
But thankfully I'm still here and...
#addiction
451 reads
1 Comment
SONG LYRICS
Published
15th Mar 2020 2:23pm
15th Mar 2020 2:23pm
Song Mash Up Story
I get up at seven, yeah, and I go to work at nine. I got no time for livin'. Yes, I'm workin' all the time. I get home at five o'clock. I stretch myself beyond my means. And it's been a while since I could say that I wasn't addicted. White lips, pale face, burnt lungs, sour taste. Struggling to pay rent, long nights, strange men. But lately her face seems slowly sinking, wasting. And goes mad for a couple grams, cause in a pipe she flies to the mother land and sells love to another man. What have I become? I cannot blame this on my father. He did the best he could for me. I hurt myself today,...
#music
416 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
14th Mar 2020 11:54pm
14th Mar 2020 11:54pm
The Struggle Within
Teased and bullied as a kid
Too afraid to fight back so I ran and hid
Stuffed down all my hurt and anger
Nobody knew, nor did I
That I was headed for danger....in danger from....mostly myself
All because I didn't like the way I felt
The scars on my arms leftover from the pain
Pain manifested by my own brain
The demons that live there, they whisper to me
Filling my head with lies, yet I still believe
Words of hatred and self-rejection
For years fueling my drug use and depression
They're so hungry they feed on me every chance they get ...
Too afraid to fight back so I ran and hid
Stuffed down all my hurt and anger
Nobody knew, nor did I
That I was headed for danger....in danger from....mostly myself
All because I didn't like the way I felt
The scars on my arms leftover from the pain
Pain manifested by my own brain
The demons that live there, they whisper to me
Filling my head with lies, yet I still believe
Words of hatred and self-rejection
For years fueling my drug use and depression
They're so hungry they feed on me every chance they get ...
#MentalHealth
375 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
14th Mar 2020 11:45pm
14th Mar 2020 11:45pm
Despondent
Fuck me!
Fuck this!
Fuck you!
Suffer quietly is all I do
In some sort of pain everyday
Wish it all would just go away
What's the point; why am I here?
The purpose of my future isn't clear
Day by day, going through the motions like I'm fine
When really on the inside I'm dying
Walking around all somber and sullen
Feels like my life has been stolen
Only to be replaced by pain and suffering
So I'm left sitting and wondering
Why me?
Fuck you!
Fuck this!
Fuck me!
Fuck this!
Fuck you!
Suffer quietly is all I do
In some sort of pain everyday
Wish it all would just go away
What's the point; why am I here?
The purpose of my future isn't clear
Day by day, going through the motions like I'm fine
When really on the inside I'm dying
Walking around all somber and sullen
Feels like my life has been stolen
Only to be replaced by pain and suffering
So I'm left sitting and wondering
Why me?
Fuck you!
Fuck this!
Fuck me!
#illness
468 reads
1 Comment
SELF POEM
Published
14th Mar 2020 3:54pm
14th Mar 2020 3:54pm
Misery
One day up, one day down
Want to smile but all I can do is frown
Crying in bed all day long
Not even sure what's really wrong
Thoughts of cutting float on by
Sometimes wish I would just die
Sick of constantly feeling this way
This game I no longer want to play
Tired in every sense of the word
I'm only seen, never heard
All I do is continue to hide
Everything I have going on inside
Close myself off to everyone I'm near
Because I'm full of so much fear
All these thoughts racing through my head
Eyes welled up, tears ready...
Want to smile but all I can do is frown
Crying in bed all day long
Not even sure what's really wrong
Thoughts of cutting float on by
Sometimes wish I would just die
Sick of constantly feeling this way
This game I no longer want to play
Tired in every sense of the word
I'm only seen, never heard
All I do is continue to hide
Everything I have going on inside
Close myself off to everyone I'm near
Because I'm full of so much fear
All these thoughts racing through my head
Eyes welled up, tears ready...
#depression
353 reads
2 Comments
UPBEAT INSPIRATIONAL POEM
Published
14th Mar 2020 3:39pm
14th Mar 2020 3:39pm
Never Give Up
In and out of the program for years and years
Being afraid to honestly address my fears
This time working on my mental health
Paving the way to my spiritual wealth
Now that I have some time clean
Feeling all these feelings, what do they mean?
Emotions changing from day to day
Like riding a roller coaster, up and away!
I realize that some days will be tougher than others
But I can't run and hide under the covers
If I do I'll be stuck in my head
My addiction screaming at me "YOU'RE BETTER OFF DEAD!"
Now I know this really isn't true ...
Being afraid to honestly address my fears
This time working on my mental health
Paving the way to my spiritual wealth
Now that I have some time clean
Feeling all these feelings, what do they mean?
Emotions changing from day to day
Like riding a roller coaster, up and away!
I realize that some days will be tougher than others
But I can't run and hide under the covers
If I do I'll be stuck in my head
My addiction screaming at me "YOU'RE BETTER OFF DEAD!"
Now I know this really isn't true ...
#healing
387 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Submissions by akocz (Amanda Kocz)
