Clarity

As I sit here with nowhere to go
I watch the time fly right out the window
I think about life and the cards I was dealt
All the excuses I've used, the hurts I've caused and the pain I've felt
Why did I live that way, was it all in vain?
I've lost so much, but what have I gained?
Rehab after rehab yet I still relapse
It's like taking 10 steps forward and 20 steps back
Every time thinking it's gonna be different
But always end up being a little resistant
Never fully open-minded and willing
Subconsciously not knowing I'm the one I'm killing
This time I feel I've fully surrendered
Because before I could always remember
Feeling like I wasn't done
Like I wanted to still use and go on another run
But this is different I can feel it in my heart
Time for a new beginning finally a fresh start
Grateful for another chance to have come here
I've learned a lot and am leaving with a sense of pride and a vision so clear
I've also learned something new
From each and every one of you
I've gained some experience, strength and hope along the way
So thank you all for being part of my recovery