Song Mash Up Story

I get up at seven, yeah, and I go to work at nine. I got no time for livin'. Yes, I'm workin' all the time. I get home at five o'clock. I stretch myself beyond my means. And it's been a while since I could say that I wasn't addicted. White lips, pale face, burnt lungs, sour taste. Struggling to pay rent, long nights, strange men. But lately her face seems slowly sinking, wasting. And goes mad for a couple grams, cause in a pipe she flies to the mother land and sells love to another man. What have I become? I cannot blame this on my father. He did the best he could for me. I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sing, try to kill it all away but I remember everything. You are the sunshine of my life. That's why I'll always stay around. You are the apple of my eye. Forever you'll stay in my heart. It's been a while since I could say I loved myself as well. And it's been a while since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do. Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair. I will let you down. I will make you hurt. The consequences that I've rendered. Have gone and fucked things up again. Why must I feel this way? Just make this go away. It seems to me I could live my life a lot better than I think I am. If your time to you is worth saving and hoping for a better life, for the loser now will be later to win. And don't criticize what you can't understand, as the present now will later be past. If I could start again, I will keep myself.