Return to Sender

The party perfect are fashion late,
I shudder with a whiskey swig
and watch her through my parted fringe
If I'm drunk, I'm drunk already
no more of this, trying to be friends.

She's rolled her eyes to someone else,
swigs a gin and laughs with his friends,
"oh your so funny",
If she's drunk, she's drunk already,
stands unsteady but lands quite certain.

Around him she struts and pouts
no one has any doubt.
A single glance back, that pity half smile
that keeps me sat with my drink for a while.

You're drunk she said, still linked to his ego.
"Get lost" I said, either he goes or I go,
"who the hell are you"? she asked.

Shortly before midnight, the telephone rang.
Nash answered it and said, “Hello, who is this?”
The female voice on the telephone said, “Hi, it’s Kristine.”
He said, “Oh, it’s you.”
She said, “Did I wake you?”
He replied, “No, I wasn’t sleeping.”
She asked, “How are you?”
He replied, “I’m fine.”
She said, “I’ve been dying to say something to you.”
He asked, “What is it?”
She replied, “I should tell you this in person instead of on the phone.”
“I hope you don’t mind,” she added.
He said, “Go ahead; I’m listening.”
She confidently said, “I’ll come straight to the point, I love you.”
He responded, “I beg your pardon!”
She was bold enough to repeat herself.
“I said I loved you,” she said assertively.
Her words shocked him, and he said, “You love me!”
“I hope I didn’t hear you correctly,” he added.
She asked, “Why did you say that?”
He did not respond to the question.
So she said, “I’m not joking.”

Nash hesitated to speak for a while.
And then he said, “Hmm, how should I respond?”
“This isn’t what I was expecting to hear,” he added.
She said, “I know that this is kind of sudden for you.”
He said, “Uh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, but I don’t love you in a romantic way.”
“I really don’t want to hurt your feelings,” I added.
She said, “You’re a lonely man, and you need a wife.”
“I think I’m the perfect girl for you,” she added.
He said, “Yes, I’m lonely, and I need a wife.”
“But I never flirted with the notion of marrying you,” he added.
She said, “You don’t know how much I love you.”
He responded, “The way you feel about us is like a fairy tale.”
And she said, “Sometimes dreams turn into reality.”
“So perhaps together we can make this fairy tale come true,” she added.
He asked, “Did you get this idea from a movie?”
She replied, “You’re not being serious about this matter.”
After that he said, “It’s not going to work, Kristine.”
“So whatever you’re thinking, drop it now,” he added.

Kristine was not the sort of girl who gave up easily.
She said, “Your romantic poems give me the impression that you love me.”
He responded, “Oh, really!”
And then he said, “Wait a minute, that’s your assumption.”
She remained silent for a moment.
He asked, “Do you blame me for your misinterpretation of the situation?”
She replied, “No, I didn’t mean it that way.”
He said, “I asked you to read my poems and make critical comments.”
“I swear I wasn’t leading you on,” he added.
She responded, “That’s not how I see it.”
He said, “You called me repeatedly.”
“I answered my phone out of courtesy, but I never called you back,” he added.
He asked, “Haven’t you noticed?”
She said, “Yes, I’ve noticed, and I was wondering why.”
After that she said, “I don’t believe that the things you write are just fantasies.”
“They sound like your real feelings,” she added.

At that moment, Kristine’s voice lost its liveliness.
She asked, “Are you sure you don’t feel anything for me?”
He replied, “Yes, I’m positive. I’m not in love with you, Kristine.”
And then he said, “If I were in love with you, you wouldn’t have to ask me that question.
She asked, “Don’t you think I’m a nice girl?”
He replied, “You’re a very nice girl, but that’s beside the point.”
She asked, “Will you at least think about what I’ve said?”
He replied, “There’s nothing to consider, I’ve already made my final decision.”
“And I refuse to have a titillating conversation with you,” he added.
She asked, “Can I call you again?”
He replied, “I don’t mind you calling me, but please limit your calls to a social chat.”
“If you can’t do this, don’t bother to call me,” he added.
She said, “You sound a bit upset now.”
And then she asked, “Can we discuss the subject further some other time?”
Her persistency amazed him.
He said, “No, don’t waste your time, save your call credit.”
“I just don’t love you, don’t you get it?” he added.
He sensed her pain, but he could not comfort her.
“You really hurt my feelings,” she said sadly.
She didn’t want to hang up the phone, so he said, “Good night, Kristine.”

My heart tells me that you should be mine.
And I cling to the hope that I’ll have you.
Though I’m trying to make you love me,
It seems that I’ll never capture your heart.

Baby, the frustration depresses me.
It hurts to see you with someone else.
Why couldn’t it be me instead of him?
I’m counting on you to give me your love.

You don’t understand much about men.
Why don’t you love the one who loves you?
I don’t get the impression that you love me,
Yet it’s so hard to stop wooing you.

You treat me as a friend, not as a lover.
But I want to have a love affair with you.
How come you don’t have passion for me?
I thought I could successfully seduce you.

Baby, you’ve brought out the best in me.
And I feel that I owe you something.
I want to compensate you with my love,
But you won’t give me the opportunity.

I wish I could put my feelings in your heart.
You’re endowed with love and geniality.
And I can’t stop wooing you, sweetie.
If I didn’t love you so much, I’d forget you.

Once, drunk and out dancing
I slid off a bar stool
he didn't even notice, I was carried home
and left to dry out; on a chair.

We used to stride on Lakeland fells,
wind lashed lake side paths,
keeping close we kept each other warm,
I held mint cake he had the guide map.

Now if we go walking it’s late at night,
he’s ashamed to be seen with me
and feels the cold rain passing through thin skin,
I hold dog biscuits and scented bags.

A cig in the garden if I’m lucky
we never really go out any more,
when we do it always seems to rain,
anyway that mirror in the hall makes me look tired.

Ohhh but one more chance
to feel warm sun softening my shoulders,
thrown down in long grass,
picnic blanket pillow talk,
too hot to walk, dusty tracks
arms wrapped round his neck,
piggyback.