Blush

I’m embarrassed
To share this
But at the school dance
I accidentally
Shit my pants!

I had messed
My rented
White Tux
With brown
Sticky stuff

I didn’t notice
What I did
At first
Thinking I farted
A burst

But then
A classmate
Named Vance
Said, “Snug
Did you know
That you just
Shit your pants?”

And thereafter
No girl
Would ever dance
With a jackass
Who had just
Shit his pants

So my friends
Know in advance
Don’t pass gas
At the school dance
Because you might
End up with
Shit in your pants

‘Twas for a time when I was young,
I slept right through a string of dates
With boys much younger than my age;
It was their first time out the cage.
Who didn’t know how to give tongue,
A sack of hammers wouldn’t rate.
 
Though none of us had body hair.
None on their face & none down there.
All inexperienced and dumb,
With brains that screamed Jus’ gimme some!
And set aside their childish pranks,
Though still they all were numb as planks.
 
It’s only just a matter when
Disaster comes and writes the rules,
Tattooed across your ass and then
We’ll set sail on the ship of fools.
Let’s not forget, there was a date;
The Fickle Finger of my fate:
 
Back when I worked in Hollywood
And took on everything I could,
I was the mail room, me myself;
Was for a magazine, defunct.
A neat-as-pin and full of spunk
The staffers’ only little elf.
 
Then came the autumn’s overtime:
The congress’ special quarterly.
Raised from a ‘nickel’ to a ‘dime’,
In every shipment’s trip to take
The bulk by van downtown I’d make.
They hired an extra boy for me.
 
He threw himself into the work,
We got along, he’s not a jerk!
And kinda cute I felt, no doubt,
And after time, he asked me out.
I drove us to a place to eat,
I had a car. It was my treat.
 
Then often, after work, we two
Would hang out at his bungalow
Not far from where we earned our dough.
The family came from Arkansas,
At times I got to meet his Ma’
Who worked two shifts at the Bijou.
 
An evening when we’d spend the time,
We’d sit and rock the porch’s swing
And talk about most anything.
Like shopping at the five & dime,
Or what was sitting on the lawn.
He had a thought, then came the dawn.
 
A little trailer sleeping two
If you were lucky, had a clue,
Had sat within the yard a few;
Why waste an invitation to...
He leapt up off the swing to gaze
Upon the trailer thru’ the haze.
 
The fog would often settle low
When drifting in off Zuma Beach.
And even tho’ within arm’s reach,
A guess I’d made and put to bed,
I saw the gears turn in his head.
I thought I’d skip the kiss & go.
 
But Junior was ahead of me.
He took my arm & jumped the steps,
Pulled wide the door, I held my breath
‘Till suddenly, he pushed me in.
I’d fallen on a padded bench
The kind for sitting when you eat.
 
I thought aloud sarcastic’lly
“Oh lucky me”, by trailer hitch,
To try and pork me in the dark
Just for a lark, ain’t that a bitch.
No torch to see ironic’lly,
It wouldn’t count math’matic’ly.
 
He didn’t even grope, not once
While on all fours to penetrate,
And there I’m thinking ‘doggy-style’.
He’s gotta know, the donkey dunce,
To anyone who’s fucked a while.
He’s in a ‘rage’ and cannot wait.
 
The pokes, the fumbles getting in;
My patience wearing kinda thin.
I tried to help, I reached behind
And nearly missed and couldn’t find
Just what the hell was on his mind:
Dude make your move before I’m dry!
 
And meantime with the curtains drawn,
We both of us preoccupied,
The headlights flash and pass beyond
The moment when I thought I’d die.
With Junior now on top of me:
The ultimate insanity.
 
Without a plan for anal sex,
He had to have it, fuck it all!
I felt in mortal danger then,
I had to redirect his bend
Or it would be the end of me,
His cock was huge & he was tall!
 
I couldn’t get him off for shit,
I tried to talk him out of it.
I don’t know why I thought I could,
His head was hard just like his wood!
But then I shifted hips and rump;
I felt him slide into the front.
 
That seemed to satisfy his crave,
To save my ass another day,
He mashed his face into my hair.
I closed my eyes, I wasn’t there
As Junior grabbed my hips & humped,
Until his grunts were filled with doubt.
 
I tensed myself; he found me out??
He rolled his hips in disbelief,
That even he knew ass is tight,
And shouted out ”Damn, girl, you’re loose!!”
Outside, the bellows of a moose!
And then came MA’ in from the night!!!