Poetry competition CLOSED 26th November 2018 3:29pm
WINNER
Anonymous
Anonymous
RUNNERS-UP:
blocat
and Josh
Levity, Brevity and Nonsense
Related submission no longer exists.
Thank you, Poet, for your submission...
''Retired'' makes a delightful addition...
It does appear, though that you have a malaprop
lingering ...
Line one, Stanza three... the very last word is the 'malaprop(ee)
Wretch works much better... without the first letter...
(Retch- your lunch all over me ... Wretch- Let that poor wretch be.) Hope you don't mind ... Ely
''Retired'' makes a delightful addition...
It does appear, though that you have a malaprop
lingering ...
Line one, Stanza three... the very last word is the 'malaprop(ee)
Wretch works much better... without the first letter...
(Retch- your lunch all over me ... Wretch- Let that poor wretch be.) Hope you don't mind ... Ely
I don't mind at all. I will fix it. Thank you!Related submission no longer exists.
Sure, Ely, I didn't realise there was a word limit sorry if I didn't read the requirements carefully enough. As for my spelling? I am British, of course, and would rather stick pins in my eyes than adopt American spellings. Please delete the poem if it doesn't fit the bill, my friend. No hard feelings. Maybe I can substitute another? I have plenty.
Anonymous
Related submission no longer exists.
Little miss Muffit sat on a tuffit
A hand down her knickers to play,
Asked Little Boy Blue do yer fancy a screw?
I’ve been dying for it all bloody day
Said Little Boy Blue what me? Screw you?
Didn’t you know that I’m gay?
I’ve been blowing horn since the day I was born
Sorry babe, just no way!
Simple Simon was bribed by the pie man
To bend over it wasn’t his fault
Was grabbed from behind
By this pieman unkind
Who’s now up for sexual assault
Little Bo Peep was off with the sheep
She enjoyed being screwed by the ram
Whilst little Jack Horner up in the corner
Was getting it off with a lamb
Poor Humpty dumpty who witnessed it all
Started pulling his plonker and fell off his wall!
A hand down her knickers to play,
Asked Little Boy Blue do yer fancy a screw?
I’ve been dying for it all bloody day
Said Little Boy Blue what me? Screw you?
Didn’t you know that I’m gay?
I’ve been blowing horn since the day I was born
Sorry babe, just no way!
Simple Simon was bribed by the pie man
To bend over it wasn’t his fault
Was grabbed from behind
By this pieman unkind
Who’s now up for sexual assault
Little Bo Peep was off with the sheep
She enjoyed being screwed by the ram
Whilst little Jack Horner up in the corner
Was getting it off with a lamb
Poor Humpty dumpty who witnessed it all
Started pulling his plonker and fell off his wall!
Damned Bad Neighbour
My neighbour pounded on my door
Early this morning at quarter to four
What an inconvenient time to call
No consideration for me at all
Good job I was already up and about
Or he’d have woken me without a doubt
My missus works nights so it’s the only time
I get to practice these bagpipes of mine
Early this morning at quarter to four
What an inconvenient time to call
No consideration for me at all
Good job I was already up and about
Or he’d have woken me without a doubt
My missus works nights so it’s the only time
I get to practice these bagpipes of mine
Written by blocat
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Cheap Laugh
Holy days and Holy nights
don't do much for me
but the occasional holy afternoon
makes my world go 'round.
And every day I pose and pause
before the wake-up call
'cause, every morning I think
I have a reason to wake up...
but, every time I do, I forget it...
don't do much for me
but the occasional holy afternoon
makes my world go 'round.
And every day I pose and pause
before the wake-up call
'cause, every morning I think
I have a reason to wake up...
but, every time I do, I forget it...
Written by takis1917
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Calamity
A minute ago
a thought crossed my mind;...
A minute later, it disappeared...
Oh, the misfortune
of having an open mind!...
a thought crossed my mind;...
A minute later, it disappeared...
Oh, the misfortune
of having an open mind!...
Written by takis1917
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