Poetry competition CLOSED 26th November 2018 3:29pm
WINNER
Miss_Sub (- Missy -)
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RUNNERS-UP: blocat and Josh

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Levity, Brevity and Nonsense

Ely
Ely
E.A.Rothwell
Dangerous Mind
Mexico
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Joined 20th May 2018
Forum Posts: 252

Poetry Contest

write a short (less than 150 wds) humorous poem... incorporating a little nonsense is a plus

Maximum three poems per contestant...
no collaborations...
no prose...
no porn... no misery...
keep the cussin' to a minimum...
and visual poems are fine with me...
Neatness will count, be sure to check your spelling and syntax
Thank you... good luck and good poeting ... Ely


Miss_Sub
Miss_Sub
- Missy -
Tyrant of Words
United Kingdom
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Joined 26th June 2011
Forum Posts: 7937

Dear Jesus

Earlier today
it was brought
to my attention  
that a string
of old exes
found you
right after me.
 
Now J-boy,
I'm not saying
that you and I
have an issue,
but I'm bringing
forward the rapture  
one dude at a time
 
and a little thanks
never hurt anybody.
Written by Miss_Sub (- Missy -)
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Josh
Josh
Dangerous Mind
Portugal
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Joined 2nd Feb 2017
Forum Posts: 346

A Mind Off-Grid, No:08 - Miss Conception

When Jesus was born to an innocent sweet young maiden
  
she said “Woah! How did that happen?”  
   
and she didn’t know what to reckon.    
   
But with that singular question  
   
she initiated the long history of an immaculate misconception.
Written by Josh
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Ely
Ely
E.A.Rothwell
Dangerous Mind
Mexico
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Joined 20th May 2018
Forum Posts: 252

Thank you, Missy, for your entry... very humorous indeed...
You have the (dubious) distinction of being the first contestant to enter the first competition that I've ever hosted.
We're off to a fine start... Ely

Ely
Ely
E.A.Rothwell
Dangerous Mind
Mexico
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Joined 20th May 2018
Forum Posts: 252

Thanks, brother Josh, for your funny submission...
she says, looking up from the floor
Not so sure that when I slipped... on that peal of laughter...
I didn't hit my head on the door... Ely

Jade-Pandora
Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 4615

Death By Cheerios

The honey-nut variety
From half a dozen of its ilk.

Just bone dry without any milk,
No almond, soy or coconut.

I honestly can’t say the words.
I’m eating it like raisin turds.

There goes one flying by my face,
I tried to toss it, missed a space.

I’ll never find it on the rug,
These bastards do me like a drug!

And 6 months later, petrified,
I’ll find it laying where it died.

It tried committing suicide,
With other brothers mummified.

It’s really gross, I’ll relocate
Just ‘cause of something that I ate.

I’ll catch my death because I froze
In my car eating Cheerios!  
     
     
     
 
photo/art manip credit: Amelie Twist
 
Copyright©️2018 Jade Pandora. All Rights Reserved.          
NaPo/GloPoWriMo 2018    
   
Written by Jade-Pandora (jade tiger)
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Ely
Ely
E.A.Rothwell
Dangerous Mind
Mexico
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Joined 20th May 2018
Forum Posts: 252

Thank you Pan, for you entry... which is much appreciated... a fine entry it is too... Ely

poet Anonymous

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poet Anonymous

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Ely
Ely
E.A.Rothwell
Dangerous Mind
Mexico
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Joined 20th May 2018
Forum Posts: 252

Thanks Todski & Bender for your entries...
hope we need not set out sentries...
that there's some interesting folk you all hanging with... Ely

Tallen
Tallen
earth_empath
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 15th Oct 2018
Forum Posts: 918

Knot Now

Procrastination
often, to the brink
slipping, I think &
drowning in an
abyss of PANIC!
Any attempt to
mindfully dismiss
all angst or bliss,
to not think
to not rethink
to not over think
knowing full well
even the smallest
ort or iota will retie
the knot of anxiousness.
However,
at some moment
before the future
putting off tasks
is often easier
than yesterday’s
agenda but still I
persist with this joyless
entanglement.
I wish I knew why. . .

I’ll figure it out
tomorrow.
Written by Tallen (earth_empath)
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Ely
Ely
E.A.Rothwell
Dangerous Mind
Mexico
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Joined 20th May 2018
Forum Posts: 252

Thanks, Tallen, for your submission...
it's a very punny poem...
not exactly the levity...
asked for this particular comp...
but the answer is in the piece, so welcome anyway... Ely

Josh
Josh
Dangerous Mind
Portugal
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Joined 2nd Feb 2017
Forum Posts: 346

Last Sunday In October (a quatern)

The supermarket closed at 8pm
and I arrived in time at quarter-to
I rushed about to buy the food and then
recycled stuff, and duly off I zoomed

Forgot the milk and cursed - I turned around
the supermarket closed at 8pm
some milk of course was very quickly found
I slammed the door and off I zoomed again

And minutes down the road I lost my zen -
she’d wanted eggs to bake a birthday cake
the supermarket closed at 8pm
I spun the car, thought ‘jeez, for heaven’s sake!”

Arriving back, already ten past eight
was puzzled by the shoppers shopping when
I got “the clock’s gone back”, I wasn’t late
the supermarket closed at 8pm.
Written by Josh
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Ely
Ely
E.A.Rothwell
Dangerous Mind
Mexico
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Joined 20th May 2018
Forum Posts: 252

Thank you Josh... and Huzza!
It was your lucky day
thank goodness that the clock went back
That surely saved the day... Subtle entry that... adds a nice variant to the mix.  Ely

Jade-Pandora
Jade-Pandora
jade tiger
Tyrant of Words
United States
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Joined 9th Nov 2015
Forum Posts: 4615

Lucky

The old sea dog, and his mutt,    
soiled with wine stains after  
a cold night of Two Buck Chuck,  
    
staggers as he leans over    
too much, peering, trying to    
see in the first light of day.    
   
Looking for ciggie butts on    
an abandoned pier where the    
old carousel's boarded up.    
   
The tide is still high off shore,    
and gulls languish overhead.    
Sea dog hits gold, a Lucky's!
 
It's only a dank, half-smoked,
stepped-on cigarette, but still
he's smiling his toothless grin.



• Two Buck Chuck = Charles Shaw Wines sell for $1.99 a bottle at Trader Joe's.
• Lucky = Lucky Strikes brand.
Written by Jade-Pandora (jade tiger)
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