Long Satirical Poems
#satirical
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
17th Aug 2024 7:26pm
17th Aug 2024 7:26pm
Maybe she should have asked for cereal instead
Kind of sick of my wife
This marriage is getting the best of me
All she does is complain, nag, whine and bark orders
I could divorce her
I could up & leave
I'm just lazy I guess
I zone out most of the time
I'll escape by writing poems or stories
Other times I'll exercise or go for a walk or bike ride
I always keep myself busy
I'm a perfectionist
Our home is always clean, organized and neat
She knows how well I take care of everything and knows she don't need to lift a finger
The one thing she does is cook
Very good at...
This marriage is getting the best of me
All she does is complain, nag, whine and bark orders
I could divorce her
I could up & leave
I'm just lazy I guess
I zone out most of the time
I'll escape by writing poems or stories
Other times I'll exercise or go for a walk or bike ride
I always keep myself busy
I'm a perfectionist
Our home is always clean, organized and neat
She knows how well I take care of everything and knows she don't need to lift a finger
The one thing she does is cook
Very good at...
#FeelingTrapped
#fiction
#food
#wife
#satirical
150 reads
2 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
15th Aug 2024 10:38am
15th Aug 2024 10:38am
Yesterday at the dentist
Yesterday I went to the dentist
Not to fond of the dentist
I'm in the waiting room
Seems like the place is quiet
I'm the second appointment
Only the receptionist, one other patient & the dentist
From down the hall I hear someone gagging and crying
Sounds like their in horrible pain
The doctor I believe begins yelling at this person
I hear him say, "Would you please shut the fuck up!!"
Then I hear a muffled smack or punch
What I hear next didn't sound right
I...
Not to fond of the dentist
I'm in the waiting room
Seems like the place is quiet
I'm the second appointment
Only the receptionist, one other patient & the dentist
From down the hall I hear someone gagging and crying
Sounds like their in horrible pain
The doctor I believe begins yelling at this person
I hear him say, "Would you please shut the fuck up!!"
Then I hear a muffled smack or punch
What I hear next didn't sound right
I...
#dreams
#funny
#nightmares
#revenge
#satirical
223 reads
6 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
31st Jul 2024 10:03am
31st Jul 2024 10:03am
The Ballerina
Connie was only six when she was discovered gazing at a dead rat by Madame Jenny Taylor
Madame once assoluta at the Ivaninski's, informed the Linguses that the child was to be her pupil
Long years of study began in her ballet school above a row of shops
Connie first came before the public as a peasant girl in Giselle, ou Les Wilis, devised by Madame to display her students abilities
Her life was rather dull and monotonous
She became aware of what real ballet was when Madame took her to one of Anya Neeze innumerable farewell performances
Eventually she was...
Madame once assoluta at the Ivaninski's, informed the Linguses that the child was to be her pupil
Long years of study began in her ballet school above a row of shops
Connie first came before the public as a peasant girl in Giselle, ou Les Wilis, devised by Madame to display her students abilities
Her life was rather dull and monotonous
She became aware of what real ballet was when Madame took her to one of Anya Neeze innumerable farewell performances
Eventually she was...
#dance
#fiction
#loneliness
#success
#satirical
137 reads
4 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
18th Jul 2024 4:01pm
18th Jul 2024 4:01pm
The Cycloptic Pixie
The mother, was orphaned at a very young age
So knew nothing of her parentage
Or that one of them, was part pixie
And the other, part cyclops
So thus, the inner child within the mothers womb
Was effectively, A one-eyed pixie
This child, also had an inner eye
Ordinarilly referred to as the third eye
But in this case, was the second eye
None of which
Would make little sense, to an average human
As most would have two eyes already
And couldn't comprehend
A cycloptic pixie with an inner eye!
Unfortunately
In the case of...
So knew nothing of her parentage
Or that one of them, was part pixie
And the other, part cyclops
So thus, the inner child within the mothers womb
Was effectively, A one-eyed pixie
This child, also had an inner eye
Ordinarilly referred to as the third eye
But in this case, was the second eye
None of which
Would make little sense, to an average human
As most would have two eyes already
And couldn't comprehend
A cycloptic pixie with an inner eye!
Unfortunately
In the case of...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
116 reads
0 Comments
DamianDeadLove
Poem Published
16th Jul 2024 1:23am
16th Jul 2024 1:23am
Besides It's Safer
Damian DeadLove, here again on a Sunday night. If I had a YouTube channel how long you reckon I’d last? I’ve thought about it on several occasions it just never really gets past the cutting room floor stage. I don’t know if I’d be any good at it although I love to talk. But here are the problems with the whole idea.
First off I’m not crazy about the idea of showing my mug on the internet. I’m not the most photogenic person, you know? I’d want it to be more like an old time radio show just do the audio thing. But with nothing to visually stimulate an audience I think it would...
First off I’m not crazy about the idea of showing my mug on the internet. I’m not the most photogenic person, you know? I’d want it to be more like an old time radio show just do the audio thing. But with nothing to visually stimulate an audience I think it would...
#prose
#satirical
159 reads
4 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
6th Jul 2024 10:07am
6th Jul 2024 10:07am
My Favorite Nephews
My nephews came over for a July 4th BBQ
I forgot to child proof my basement
Down here is where I keep all of my tools, gadgets and accessories
Not tools like a hammer or pliers
Tools that I use when I write
Pencils, erasers, highlighters, scrap paper & an assortment of books and references
I encourage the kids to go downstairs because after an hour or so outside, they want to come in
I don't want them touching or going into my living room or dining room
I thought they would sit on the couch and watch tv or utilize their i-pads
I told my brother...
I forgot to child proof my basement
Down here is where I keep all of my tools, gadgets and accessories
Not tools like a hammer or pliers
Tools that I use when I write
Pencils, erasers, highlighters, scrap paper & an assortment of books and references
I encourage the kids to go downstairs because after an hour or so outside, they want to come in
I don't want them touching or going into my living room or dining room
I thought they would sit on the couch and watch tv or utilize their i-pads
I told my brother...
#children
#family
#fiction
#nonfiction
#satirical
137 reads
4 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
29th Jun 2024 10:59am
29th Jun 2024 10:59am
Shrink someone's head today
If you want to add spice to your living room decor,
Then continue reading and see what's in-store
Maybe you have an enemy you would love to see dead
Maybe a special friend/lover who annoys you to no end
If so, then read these instructions on how to shrink someone's head
Step 1- Find a head. peel the skin away from the skull (hair and all) Sew the eye and mouth openings closed (to trap the soul inside so it won't haunt you) Turn the head inside out. Scrape away the fat using a sharp knife.
Step 2- Cook the head. Add jungle herbs to a pot of water...
Then continue reading and see what's in-store
Maybe you have an enemy you would love to see dead
Maybe a special friend/lover who annoys you to no end
If so, then read these instructions on how to shrink someone's head
Step 1- Find a head. peel the skin away from the skull (hair and all) Sew the eye and mouth openings closed (to trap the soul inside so it won't haunt you) Turn the head inside out. Scrape away the fat using a sharp knife.
Step 2- Cook the head. Add jungle herbs to a pot of water...
#inspirational
#satirical
230 reads
12 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
5th Jun 2024 9:28pm
5th Jun 2024 9:28pm
All About Horace
Horace Smallbottam, was a retired professor
Of what, nobody quite knew
During his forties, he lost an eye
When in his local The Fox & Glove
A dart bounced out of the dartboard
And took out one of his eyes!
He never returned, which was probably just as well
As the locals referred to the bullseye on the dartboard
As getting a HoraceThe years passed
During which, Horace
Treated himself to an upmarket glass eye
Which he believed to of belonged to a famous person called Etsy
That he imagined, was once owned by one -eyed Egyptian...
Of what, nobody quite knew
During his forties, he lost an eye
When in his local The Fox & Glove
A dart bounced out of the dartboard
And took out one of his eyes!
He never returned, which was probably just as well
As the locals referred to the bullseye on the dartboard
As getting a HoraceThe years passed
During which, Horace
Treated himself to an upmarket glass eye
Which he believed to of belonged to a famous person called Etsy
That he imagined, was once owned by one -eyed Egyptian...
#funny
#satirical
#ShortStory
139 reads
0 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
28th Mar 2024 7:24pm
28th Mar 2024 7:24pm
Dillweed or Dickweed
Hi. Today I'm going to discuss these two weeds.
What is Dill Weed?
Dill Weed is an herb that belongs to the Apiaceae family. It's native to the Mediterranean region and used in numerous cuisines worldwide.
Example- Stir in the beef stew, water, potatoes, carrots, corn, salt, pepper & Dill Weed.
What is a Dillweed? A Dillweed is an inept, foolish, buffoon or an incapable jackass!
Example- Look at this Dillweed, he forgot to put shoes on before going to work.
What is Dick Weed?
...
What is Dill Weed?
Dill Weed is an herb that belongs to the Apiaceae family. It's native to the Mediterranean region and used in numerous cuisines worldwide.
Example- Stir in the beef stew, water, potatoes, carrots, corn, salt, pepper & Dill Weed.
What is a Dillweed? A Dillweed is an inept, foolish, buffoon or an incapable jackass!
Example- Look at this Dillweed, he forgot to put shoes on before going to work.
What is Dick Weed?
...
#parody
#satirical
#nonfiction
350 reads
10 Comments
goldenmyst
Poem Published
22nd Feb 2024 7:36pm
22nd Feb 2024 7:36pm
Movie Night
Movie Night
“Well, we got out of the store without doing more than the necessary damage to your billfold.”
“I needed a woman to divert me from my path to dietary apocalypse.”
“You need only omit one word, that being ‘woman’. Anyone with even rudimentary knowledge of nutrition would know that day-old pizza is unacceptable.”
“The surgeon general would concur I am sure.”
“Then why do I have to tell you what is obvious?”
“Perhaps because I am part of the unwashed gender.”
“Well even though...
“Well, we got out of the store without doing more than the necessary damage to your billfold.”
“I needed a woman to divert me from my path to dietary apocalypse.”
“You need only omit one word, that being ‘woman’. Anyone with even rudimentary knowledge of nutrition would know that day-old pizza is unacceptable.”
“The surgeon general would concur I am sure.”
“Then why do I have to tell you what is obvious?”
“Perhaps because I am part of the unwashed gender.”
“Well even though...
#women
#romantic
#satirical
#funny
#sexy
237 reads
0 Comments
SweetKittyCat5
Poem Published
15th Dec 2023 6:06pm
15th Dec 2023 6:06pm
We Straight Bebe’s Kids (COTS)
We come straight out the womb and we rule our own cribs
We are the New Horizon generation, documenting in real time, our laws, and word up, we never wore any bibs
Exchanging our milk donation, we got intellectually from the boob
The healthy juices from the beginning until we were weaned, it nourished our soul
We the authentic Princes and Princesses and we were not manifested in a laboratory test tube
That warp-minded technology got our Pre-Natal mission all wrong
We heard...
We are the New Horizon generation, documenting in real time, our laws, and word up, we never wore any bibs
Exchanging our milk donation, we got intellectually from the boob
The healthy juices from the beginning until we were weaned, it nourished our soul
We the authentic Princes and Princesses and we were not manifested in a laboratory test tube
That warp-minded technology got our Pre-Natal mission all wrong
We heard...
#inspirational
#sun
#TruthOfLife
#wisdom
#satirical
363 reads
6 Comments
SweetKittyCat5
Poem Published
24th Oct 2023 4:27pm
24th Oct 2023 4:27pm
Softly Swooning Under The Touch, The Need Of The Sorcerer
#moon
#Halloween
#sensual
#passion
#satirical
389 reads
DU Poetry : Long Satirical Poems
