Long Satirical Poems
#satirical
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
6th Jul 2024 11:07am
6th Jul 2024 11:07am
My Favorite Nephews
My nephews came over for a July 4th BBQ
I forgot to child proof my basement
Down here is where I keep all of my tools, gadgets and accessories
Not tools like a hammer or pliers
Tools that I use when I write
Pencils, erasers, highlighters, scrap paper & an assortment of books and references
I encourage the kids to go downstairs because after an hour or so outside, they want to come in
I don't want them touching or going into my living room or dining room
I thought they would sit on the couch and watch tv or utilize their i-pads
I told my brother...
I forgot to child proof my basement
Down here is where I keep all of my tools, gadgets and accessories
Not tools like a hammer or pliers
Tools that I use when I write
Pencils, erasers, highlighters, scrap paper & an assortment of books and references
I encourage the kids to go downstairs because after an hour or so outside, they want to come in
I don't want them touching or going into my living room or dining room
I thought they would sit on the couch and watch tv or utilize their i-pads
I told my brother...
#children
#family
#fiction
#nonfiction
#satirical
91 reads
4 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
29th Jun 2024 11:59am
29th Jun 2024 11:59am
Shrink someone's head today
If you want to add spice to your living room decor,
Then continue reading and see what's in-store
Maybe you have an enemy you would love to see dead
Maybe a special friend/lover who annoys you to no end
If so, then read these instructions on how to shrink someone's head
Step 1- Find a head. peel the skin away from the skull (hair and all) Sew the eye and mouth openings closed (to trap the soul inside so it won't haunt you) Turn the head inside out. Scrape away the fat using a sharp knife.
Step 2- Cook the head. Add jungle herbs to a pot of water...
Then continue reading and see what's in-store
Maybe you have an enemy you would love to see dead
Maybe a special friend/lover who annoys you to no end
If so, then read these instructions on how to shrink someone's head
Step 1- Find a head. peel the skin away from the skull (hair and all) Sew the eye and mouth openings closed (to trap the soul inside so it won't haunt you) Turn the head inside out. Scrape away the fat using a sharp knife.
Step 2- Cook the head. Add jungle herbs to a pot of water...
#inspirational
#satirical
180 reads
12 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
5th Jun 2024 10:28pm
5th Jun 2024 10:28pm
All About Horace
Horace Smallbottam, was a retired professor
Of what, nobody quite knew
During his forties, he lost an eye
When in his local The Fox & Glove
A dart bounced out of the dartboard
And took out one of his eyes!
He never returned, which was probably just as well
As the locals referred to the bullseye on the dartboard
As getting a HoraceThe years passed
During which, Horace
Treated himself to an upmarket glass eye
Which he believed to of belonged to a famous person called Etsy
That he imagined, was once owned by one -eyed Egyptian...
Of what, nobody quite knew
During his forties, he lost an eye
When in his local The Fox & Glove
A dart bounced out of the dartboard
And took out one of his eyes!
He never returned, which was probably just as well
As the locals referred to the bullseye on the dartboard
As getting a HoraceThe years passed
During which, Horace
Treated himself to an upmarket glass eye
Which he believed to of belonged to a famous person called Etsy
That he imagined, was once owned by one -eyed Egyptian...
#funny
#satirical
#ShortStory
97 reads
0 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
28th Mar 2024 7:24pm
28th Mar 2024 7:24pm
Dillweed or Dickweed
Hi. Today I'm going to discuss these two weeds.
What is Dill Weed?
Dill Weed is an herb that belongs to the Apiaceae family. It's native to the Mediterranean region and used in numerous cuisines worldwide.
Example- Stir in the beef stew, water, potatoes, carrots, corn, salt, pepper & Dill Weed.
What is a Dillweed? A Dillweed is an inept, foolish, buffoon or an incapable jackass!
Example- Look at this Dillweed, he forgot to put shoes on before going to work.
What is Dick Weed?
...
What is Dill Weed?
Dill Weed is an herb that belongs to the Apiaceae family. It's native to the Mediterranean region and used in numerous cuisines worldwide.
Example- Stir in the beef stew, water, potatoes, carrots, corn, salt, pepper & Dill Weed.
What is a Dillweed? A Dillweed is an inept, foolish, buffoon or an incapable jackass!
Example- Look at this Dillweed, he forgot to put shoes on before going to work.
What is Dick Weed?
...
#parody
#satirical
#nonfiction
271 reads
10 Comments
goldenmyst
Poem Published
22nd Feb 2024 7:36pm
22nd Feb 2024 7:36pm
Movie Night
Movie Night
“Well, we got out of the store without doing more than the necessary damage to your billfold.”
“I needed a woman to divert me from my path to dietary apocalypse.”
“You need only omit one word, that being ‘woman’. Anyone with even rudimentary knowledge of nutrition would know that day-old pizza is unacceptable.”
“The surgeon general would concur I am sure.”
“Then why do I have to tell you what is obvious?”
“Perhaps because I am part of the unwashed gender.”
“Well even though...
“Well, we got out of the store without doing more than the necessary damage to your billfold.”
“I needed a woman to divert me from my path to dietary apocalypse.”
“You need only omit one word, that being ‘woman’. Anyone with even rudimentary knowledge of nutrition would know that day-old pizza is unacceptable.”
“The surgeon general would concur I am sure.”
“Then why do I have to tell you what is obvious?”
“Perhaps because I am part of the unwashed gender.”
“Well even though...
#women
#romantic
#satirical
#funny
#sexy
201 reads
0 Comments
SweetKittyCat5
Poem Published
15th Dec 2023 6:06pm
15th Dec 2023 6:06pm
We Straight Bebe’s Kids (COTS)
We come straight out the womb and we rule our own cribs
We are the New Horizon generation, documenting in real time, our laws, and word up, we never wore any bibs
Exchanging our milk donation, we got intellectually from the boob
The healthy juices from the beginning until we were weaned, it nourished our soul
We the authentic Princes and Princesses and we were not manifested in a laboratory test tube
That warp-minded technology got our Pre-Natal mission all wrong
We heard...
We are the New Horizon generation, documenting in real time, our laws, and word up, we never wore any bibs
Exchanging our milk donation, we got intellectually from the boob
The healthy juices from the beginning until we were weaned, it nourished our soul
We the authentic Princes and Princesses and we were not manifested in a laboratory test tube
That warp-minded technology got our Pre-Natal mission all wrong
We heard...
#inspirational
#sun
#TruthOfLife
#wisdom
#satirical
324 reads
6 Comments
SweetKittyCat5
Poem Published
24th Oct 2023 5:27pm
24th Oct 2023 5:27pm
Softly Swooning Under The Touch, The Need Of The Sorcerer
#moon
#Halloween
#sensual
#passion
#satirical
334 reads
Ashley_M_Hardy
Poem Published
29th Aug 2023 5:13am
29th Aug 2023 5:13am
Cartoon Foolery
So, I write to inform and entertain my neighbors and audiences
I’ll spend a whole day mixin’ and spittin’ some words
Listening to my favorite tunes on streaming platforms
Sometimes, thoughts pour out, and then I save them for later
Reread it another day when I’m more sober
I put everything into perspective in my writings, yo
Whether I’m running for office or not, my process is serious
But the other day, I wrote some spoken word that didn’t make sense
Yet, it was genius, like to hear it here it goes:
As the sistah that synthesizes the simple shit,...
I’ll spend a whole day mixin’ and spittin’ some words
Listening to my favorite tunes on streaming platforms
Sometimes, thoughts pour out, and then I save them for later
Reread it another day when I’m more sober
I put everything into perspective in my writings, yo
Whether I’m running for office or not, my process is serious
But the other day, I wrote some spoken word that didn’t make sense
Yet, it was genius, like to hear it here it goes:
As the sistah that synthesizes the simple shit,...
#satirical
#funny
257 reads
4 Comments
SweetKittyCat5
Poem Published
13th May 2023 10:40pm
13th May 2023 10:40pm
Mm... Love’s Repellent
I’ve taken my daily love repellent medication
Mind sailing on life’s blissful purification
Felt rejuvenated the first day
This is so easy to conquer life day, my way
Silence was my sweet craving to taste
I ran out my love repellent medicine and the pharmacy were just too far, so I had to wait
And then the descending of mind-to-mind sacred consolation
Whispers softly washing over me from the constellations
Tenacious, handsome, charismatic, under that blanket of primeval warmth benedictions
A handsome bandit trying to steal with...
Mind sailing on life’s blissful purification
Felt rejuvenated the first day
This is so easy to conquer life day, my way
Silence was my sweet craving to taste
I ran out my love repellent medicine and the pharmacy were just too far, so I had to wait
And then the descending of mind-to-mind sacred consolation
Whispers softly washing over me from the constellations
Tenacious, handsome, charismatic, under that blanket of primeval warmth benedictions
A handsome bandit trying to steal with...
#satirical
#sensual
#passion
#seductive
#lover
492 reads
8 Comments
Connotation
Poem Published
23rd Apr 2023 5:50am
23rd Apr 2023 5:50am
Familiar, This Contemptuous Spirit
Familiar, this contemptuous spirit.
With masks of fallacy, responsibility is a game, as hypocritical roles define the anticipation of competition.
Persistent grandiosity of sinful metaphors, parables, principles, and dualities corrupt any ethical code of morality.
Ignorance, as errors of others are accepted, establishes dominance, while presence is taken for granted.
Inexperience makes way for the ease of arrogance and haughtiness.
Ruling delusion reassures madness, as the necessity to judge is mistaken for traits, attributes, and characteristics of personality. ...
With masks of fallacy, responsibility is a game, as hypocritical roles define the anticipation of competition.
Persistent grandiosity of sinful metaphors, parables, principles, and dualities corrupt any ethical code of morality.
Ignorance, as errors of others are accepted, establishes dominance, while presence is taken for granted.
Inexperience makes way for the ease of arrogance and haughtiness.
Ruling delusion reassures madness, as the necessity to judge is mistaken for traits, attributes, and characteristics of personality. ...
#anger
#lies
#satirical
#hypocrisy
#manipulation
230 reads
0 Comments
Strangeways_Rob
Poem Published
16th Dec 2022 10:25pm
16th Dec 2022 10:25pm
God f**k Ye Merry Gentlemen
I could tell Jo had been drinking whilst writing her Xmas Cards, on catching sight of my enveloped address. It tilted like a capsizing ship.
Jo’s perennial greetings seemed to mark a gradual descent into an alcoholic abyss. Her reputation as a ‘party-girl’ at College had been built on an appetite for drinking. Jo’s nickname, The Dentist, reflected her ability to offer simultaneous blow-jobs.
She disliked the moniker at the time, and as the years unfolded, she grew to harbour resentment towards its continued use. In the manner of things, the more she protested, the...
Jo’s perennial greetings seemed to mark a gradual descent into an alcoholic abyss. Her reputation as a ‘party-girl’ at College had been built on an appetite for drinking. Jo’s nickname, The Dentist, reflected her ability to offer simultaneous blow-jobs.
She disliked the moniker at the time, and as the years unfolded, she grew to harbour resentment towards its continued use. In the manner of things, the more she protested, the...
#satirical
#ghosts
#masculinity
234 reads
7 Comments
Weak4hissmile
Poem Published
8th Mar 2022 12:12pm
8th Mar 2022 12:12pm
Rant 2
After days of pondering
My thoughts for moment are as follow
don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy ball of organs and crap
Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living now.
(New Rule of my life 1) "Be unrealistic"
Be outlandishly unpredictable
Be mountain dew
Do the dew bitch
“I see the world in terms of what I would like to see happen, not what actually does.”
...
My thoughts for moment are as follow
don’t live in either my past or my future. I’m interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you’ll be a happy ball of organs and crap
Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we’re living now.
(New Rule of my life 1) "Be unrealistic"
Be outlandishly unpredictable
Be mountain dew
Do the dew bitch
“I see the world in terms of what I would like to see happen, not what actually does.”
...
#satirical
471 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Long Satirical Poems
